TALES TO ASTONISH #68: You Look Mah-velous!

Published: June, 1965

“Back From the Dead!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Mickey Demeo
Letters: Art Simek

Many Marvel characters have gotten upgrades over the last several months, and it makes me wonder what was going on in the Bullpen in early 1965. Only three years since Marvel took off in the superhero direction, and already so many changes! Was this just the usual business process of continually seeking improvements, or did problems with certain titles necessitate some jazzing up?

The ultimate change of course took place in May 1965, when the Avengers got a whole new lineup, but I’m going to review several other changes, starting right here in Tales to Astonish, where I’ve noticed over the last few issues that both Jan and the writers seem hell-bent on giving Giant-Man a giant makeover.

GIANT-MAN: “I’m a Scientist, Not a Fashion Model!”
Back in issue 65, Jan was pushing so hard for Hank to get a new costume that she actually sat down at a sewing machine and made one. Not surprisingly, the new costume perfectly complements her own. Now they are both in black and red—her under layer is black, his is red. But Hank has additional blue in his ensemble—hands, feet, shoulders. And why wouldn’t that be the case? In nature, it’s always the male of the species that is more visually interesting, the better to attract a mate. And if you don’t believe me, take a quick look at this promo for the delightful documentary, Dancing with the Birds:

Jan is pleased with the outcome, no doubt because this new look visually brings them closer together as a team. Even though Pym insists, “Jan, I’m a scientist…not a fashion model!” the larger epaulettes (shoulder ornamentation—new vocab word, thank you, Marvel!) make him look more manly. And I have to believe that Pym has no aversion to looking more manly.

So Giant-Man is looking pretty good these days…except for one thing, which really isn’t his fault, or Jan’s. In this issue, I don’t care for the “stereophonic art of Bob Powell”—or maybe it’s the “stultifying inking of Vince Colletta”? Over the last several issues, someone has given Hank Pym a crew cut, which I’m sure was very fashionable back in 1965, but I’m not impressed. I prefer him with that shock of wavy blonde hair accentuating his sharply chiseled features.

But what do I know? And what does it matter what I think? Jan thinks Hank looks “oomphy” in his new costume, and that’s all that counts, right? Can’t be too much longer until the mating dance ritual is completed!

WASP: “I Never Did Like That Bee!”
Speaking of Wasp, now that Pym can no longer shrink to ant-size, apparently it will be difficult for him to communicate with the ants. So he gives Jan the ability to communicate…not with ants, but with wasps. Truthfully, I don’t know why it has to be wasps. The ants are already their friends. Can’t Jan just talk to the ants the same way Hank did? And while we’re at it, is there really any particular reason why a normal-sized Hank Pym can’t talk to the ants? I feel like I’m opening the door to an entire new wing of pseudo-science, but…just asking.

Additionally, last month Hank gave Wasp a bumble bee as her new mode of transportation and she absolutely loved it, but this month she claims, “I never DID like that bee!” Fickle much?

We’re treated to a bit of comedy related to Wasp naming her new traveling companion “Boopsie,” and I wonder if this wasp-ride is going to stick, and still be named “Boopsie.” With the amount of shuffling around the writers have been doing lately, I almost wouldn’t be surprised if next month, Wasp is traveling in style on a horsefly named Mr. Ed!

But some things will never change, and one thing for certain is that the Marvel artists love to draw Wasp as a very shapely female. They don’t always get her face right, but her body is so consistent, you could probably pick her out in a lineup. At the very least, you have to wonder if maybe Janet van Dyne is in fact the original model for the iconic mudflap. Doesn’t she look mah-velous??

DAREDEVIL: “…More Distinctive!”
Now I’m going to veer to the other characters in Marvel Comics who, over the last few months, have also been getting an upgrade. In his April issue, Daredevil sews himself a new costume. (Poor Daredevil, he has no handy-dandy gal-pal to sit down at the sewing machine for him, like Pym does!)

The Daredevil title has only been around for six issues before this happens, so what exactly is going on here? Are the creators sorry they ever gave him that lemony leotard? Of course he will no doubt be taken a lot more seriously in his more subdued red and black costume (yes, let’s call it what it is…a costume). Daredevil tells us he’s been working in secret for months to redesign his costume so it’s more comfortable and distinctive. That means almost from the moment he put on the yellow, he was aware he had made a mistake. Even though he obviously never saw himself in his costume, yellow is the kind of color you simply feel (even if you’re not a supersensitive superhero). And unless your superhero moniker is Captain Sunshine, yellow is simply not the right color for you.

That red and black certainly does look more “distinctive,” but I don’t understand how everyone instantly recognizes him and shouts “It’s Daredevil!” How do they know it’s him when he’s masked, and looks so different? Hmmm….Could it possibly be that huge “DD” on his chest? (But then, why aren’t they yelling, “Look! It’s Doctor Doom!”?)

By the way, Daredevil also has some new weapons. If you’re going to get an upgrade, a mere change of costume is nowhere near as important as weapons! Now he has a cable cane that he casts like a fishing line, enabling him to swing from place to place at twice the speed; and his billy club is equipped with pellets that produce smoke to confuse and disorient his opponent. Being “without fear” is still certainly his greatest asset, but already these new tools are coming in handy.

IRON MAN: “The Stronger I Make My Armor, the Longer I Live!”
Now. Who is the King of the Marvel Makeover? Why, Iron Man, of course! There’s something about technology that invites constant change. For many issues, Tony Stark has been stuck inside his Iron Man suit, so lately he’s not been as interested in making improvements as in simply finding a way out of his inconvenient and uncomfortable predicament. But in Tales of Suspense #63 he finally figures out how to live outside the iron suit, and issue 64 wastes no time at all, showing us on the splash the technology wizard hard at work to make himself a stronger helmet.

As a true titan of technology, Stark is on a never-ending quest for improvement. Iron Man’s armor has been silver, then gold, now it’s red and gold. Then there’s the helmet. First he added “horns,” then took away the horns and added rivets, and now he’s removed the rivets. Whenever Stark is not preoccupied with how to escape the itch of spending weeks on end trapped in an iron suit, he can be found hammering out some iron to make things better.

BLACK WIDOW: “There’s No Place I Can’t Go!”
But far be it from Marvel to only provide the good guys with upgrades! In Tales of Suspense #64, Iron Man is not the only one who gets an upgrade. The Russians give Black Widow a new costume with boots that allow her to walk up the side of buildings with suction cups. She also adds a slender line of nylon from a wrist device so she can catch a target on the other side and swing across. As pointed out in the story, all this makes her much more like her namesake, the Black Widow.

Brushnev, the Russian who designs her costume, is so impressed with his improvements that he declares she is not only the cleverest, but also the most dangerous and “most colorful” agent they have. (I guess in Russia adding a bit of blue to your standard black outfit qualifies as “colorful.”)

Well, the Russians may have started this, but Black Widow herself puts on the finishing touches by designing a mask that looks just like that of her love, Hawkeye. Like Wasp, she longs for connection between herself and her superhero sweetie.

HAWKEYE: “I’m Going to Prove My Worth!”
Though Hawkeye has never had a costume upgrade, he now has something better—new and improved arrows! And when your superhero power is shooting arrows from a quiver, any upgrade you can get is worth the wait. These arrows have very specific qualities: deafener, acid-tipped, and power blast. These are good upgrades, because in this ever-evolving Marvel Universe, simple arrows, no matter how accurately aimed, won’t cut it.

TOP: “I Didn’t Stop to Think that a Top Can’t Fly!”
Hawkeye and Black Widow are quasi-villains at this point, but Marvel further levels the playing field between good and evil in Tales to Astonish #68 (because, remember, this is a review of Tales to Astonish #68) where, on the splash, we are promised the “Return of the Almost Forgotten Villain!” Right away, I have to confess, my thoughts flew to Paste Pot Pete—because I always want to forget Paste Pot Pete—but then I remembered he recently became part of the Frightful Four. Well, that’s not it…so, hmmm, let’s see…

Then I began to read, and quicker than you can spin a top, it’s revealed that the nearly forgotten villain is the Human Top! Well, got me there!

The first thing we’re told about this forgotten villain is that he’s given himself a makeover. Now he is no longer a “top.” His idea of an upgrade however is to sew glittery bat wings into a leotard covered by yellow underpants. Again with the yellow! Scary. But not, I think, in the way he intended.

At one point, Top takes a cue from the Chameleon and disguises himself as a “reporter from the Globe,” but honestly, he just looks like a beatnik. Still, this disguise is apparently enough to convince the guard that he doesn’t need to ask for press credentials, and thus the Top gains access to “Giant-Man’s lab.” (Inexplicably, the guard and Top talk about it being Giant-Man’s lab, not Henry Pym’s lab, which doesn’t make any sense, but that’s a whole ’nother issue…)

HULK: “Strange Land! Hulk Lost!”
To this point, the writers don’t seem to know what to do with Hulk. His attributes have been changing from the very beginning, and even as recently as Tales to Astonish #62, being too excited will make Hulk transform into Banner! Which doesn’t make any sense. They tried to make him an Avengers super-hero for a few issues, which didn’t work out, but even now as the Avengers get a new roster, talk of recruiting him is still being bandied about.

I really have no idea where we are with Hulk at any given moment. Sometimes change leads to order, but sometimes change, coming too fast and too often, just leads to chaos. I’m looking forward to the day when the concept of the big green guy will be more like a strong and beautiful tree in a forest and less like a serving of lime Jell-O.

PASTE POT PETE/THE TRAPSTER: “Too Much Like a Comic Title!”
Okay, let’s wrap this all up by getting back to Paste Pot Pete. We’ve seen him go down Makeover Road before, very early when he adopted a Beatles style haircut, and again when he upgraded his delivery of paste. Now, he gets the Ultimate Makeover that is so dramatic he actually needs to change his name. And so, henceforth, Paste Pot Pete shall be known as…The Trapster!!

He dropped the PPP moniker because “it sounded too much like a comic title,” and now as the Trapster, he dons a new costume in more subdued colors. Also, his egghead helmet has been toned down, so he now looks only slightly less dorky. And even though his delivery system has undergone yet another upgrade, I’m sad to report, his superpower is still pretty much…well, it’s paste.

But hey! In Fantastic Four #38, Medusa tells him his new name has a “thrilling ring,” and also mentions how impressive and handsome she finds him. In return, Pete tells Medusa she’s not so bad-looking, herself. And with all this flirting going on, I’m wondering when PPP/the Trapster will fluff out his tail feathers and do a dance of seduction.

That, I hope, is one thing the artists will not share in either stereophonic or stultifying detail.