INCREDIBLE HULK #5: The Tyrannical & The Abominable

Published: January, 1963

“The Hordes of General Fang!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Art Simek

In our spare time, when we’re not reading, reviewing and chronicling Marvel Comics, Russ and I produce and host a podcast on the 1960’s TV gothic soap opera Dark Shadows. We’re always looking for ways to make our podcast better, and one of the things we’ve been working on lately is getting the “Synopsis” segment of the show to be more precise and efficient.

Writing this blog, I also feel it would behoove me to find ways to slenderize the synopses of the comics I read. After all, if you’re a longtime Marvel fan, you already know these stories, and only need a quick refresher. And if you are a first time customer, no synopsis, no matter how detailed, can capture the depth and beauty of the actual printed story.

Remember, you can always visit the link at the bottom of each post to access Marvel’s website, where for a mere $4.99 a month you can subscribe to oodles and oodles of comic scans online. Or, if you’re lucky enough to have a crazy uncle who collected comics as a kid, maybe you can ask to borrow some. But for the time being, I’m going to spend less time on the synopses and more time delving into details in my commentary.

This issue of The Incredible Hulk, like the previous issues, has two separate stories. So let’s get straight to the synopses, and then I can rattle on for a while, letting you know what I think.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: A SHORT SYNOPSIS
Banished to the underworld centuries ago by Merlin the Magician, Tyrannus relies on the Fountain of Youth and a race of loyal, scientifically advanced beings to assist in planning his revenge on the surface world.

Tyrannus presents himself to Betty Ross as an archeologist requiring a guide to explore local caves, and Betty goes with him in an effort to make Bruce Banner jealous. Not trusting Tyrannus, Banner and Rick follow, and when they realize Betty is being kidnapped, Banner hulks up and comes to Betty’s rescue.

However, Tyrannus disables Hulk with volcanic gas, and Hulk agrees to be his slave in exchange for Betty’s safety. When Tyrannus decides Hulk no longer “amuses” him, he orders his death, but Rick disguises himself as a guard and rescues Betty, taking her to Hulk. Realizing Betty is now safe, Hulk fights and destroys Tyrannus and his army.

On the return to the surface world, Betty conveniently develops amnesia.

Hey! That was pretty good. Nice and concise! But how about this synopsis of the second story:

THE HORDES OF GENERAL FANG: AN EVEN SHORTER SYNOPSIS
Asian Commie General Fang plans to conquer the peaceful land of Llhasa. Hulk comes to the rescue by disguising himself as the Abominable Snowman, thus terrifying Fang’s army. Fang uses trickery to capture Hulk, but Rick Jones frees Hulk in time to stop Fang’s missiles aimed at Llhasa. Hulk uses his strength and wit to immobilize Fang’s forces, then drops the evil General in the midst of his deadliest enemies.

SUB-PLOTS
Of course, these short synopses leave out a lot of juicy details, so that’s what I want to talk about now. In addition to the main plot, each of these stories contains a sub-plot about additional dilemmas faced by Banner/Hulk. The first story begins in the home of General Ross, where the General is meeting with Bruce Banner, “top scientist” on his staff, in an effort to devise new strategies for capturing Hulk. Rick picks up on the irony of the situation by observing, “Man, what a gasser! Imagine ol’ Thunderbolt Ross ordering you to capture yourself!”

I had to get that in, because I was amused by Rick’s use of the word “gasser,” and in the next panel he calls Bruce “Daddy-O.” In both these stories, I couldn’t help but be aware of language. It seems an effort is being made to have Rick Jones sound more like a teenager. Hanging out at home with his buddy Banner, he’s still wearing a tie and collared shirt, so I guess if he doesn’t actually look like a teenager, at least he can sound like one.

I also noticed that Hulk is being written to sound more angry and abrupt than before. Hulk is still maintaining Banner’s intellect, so he continues to be extremely “chatty,” but now, he’s also downright rude! He tells Rick to “Shaddup!” and “Clam Up,” and calls him a brat, a puny fool, and stupid. At other times he calls him squirt, peanut and kiddo, which almost sound endearing, so that sort of evens out his comments. But I still don’t see why he has to be so rude to the only person he can call “friend,” the only person he can rely on.

But that’s not all! On a commercial flight, Hulk wallops an accommodating stewardess with a hearty “Ya Lamebrain!”

What’s going on here? Well, I have two “What’s going on heres?” actually. One: why is Hulk suddenly so irate? Is Stan trying to make him appear more menacing? What? He was not menacing enough, now he has to be rude and mannerless, as well?

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE?
But Two (and more importantly): what is Hulk doing on a commercial flight? When I reviewed Hulk #4, I jested about how Rick chartered a plane to take him and Hulk to the Grand Canyon. I wondered who would be willing to charter a flight for the Hulk, and whether or not the plane would be able to get off the ground. Here, seeing Hulk and Jones on a commercial flight, I wondered if this scene was added in response to readers who asked, as I did, if Hulk could actually fit on a plane, and this was Stan’s way of saying “Sure! No problem.”

But then, in this very same issue of Hulk, on the “Let’s Talk About the Hulk” page, John Jones writes in, wondering how much Hulk weighs, and the answer is “We’ve never been able to get him on a scale, but we’d guess he comes close to half a ton.” That would be a thousand pounds! So now the question becomes: how does a thousand-pound passenger fit in an airline seat? And sorry, but there’s no hat and coat that would fit a creature of that size!

Now that I know Hulk’s weight, I fear I’m going to be very critical of storylines where “that could never happen.” I guess I have to remind myself that none of this could ever happen—though in another letter to the editor, Douglas Brady says he likes the Hulk because he feels “it is very possible that there could really be a Hulk someday.” Don’t know if I agree with you on that one, Doug. But in the meantime, regarding what is or isn’t “possible,” I think I should probably just shut up and enjoy the music.

And, I am “enjoying the music,” but I still have questions. For instance, at one point, General Ross wonders why Banner insists on having “that insolent teen-ager” as his assistant. You know, I was kind of wondering that too. I mean, how does Banner explain to the world that this orphan boy is always hanging around with him? Betty mentions that the Defense Department has given Dr. Banner the right to select any aide he chooses. Yes, I’m sure they have. But I’m also sure they intended him to choose an assistant who is competent, at the very least a high school GRADUATE.

THE INVISIBLE BOY
However, having Rick as Banner’s assistant opens up many plot possibilities. In fact, in both of these stories, Rick is able to assist Hulk because, as a mere kid, nobody is paying attention to him. Nobody takes him seriously, nobody thinks he can do any harm (or good). In fact, not only is Rick able to help Hulk, but he also orchestrates a plan that rescues Betty from the evil Tyrannus. When Rick removes his costume, Betty exclaims, “Oh! I should have guessed! It’s YOU!”

Now what does she mean by that? She should have guessed it was Rick because…?? Well, because in a previous issue she made the connection that Banner and Hulk and Rick Jones always seem to be involved in the same adventures? In this adventure, Banner is nowhere in sight, but Hulk is, so I guess that’s why she says “I should have guessed.” But I’m still waiting for her to get that light bulb over her head and say, “Wait a minute! That Rick Jones is always hanging around Bruce, and Rick Jones is always hanging around the Hulk, but I’ve never actually seen Bruce and the Hulk together at the same time. Hmmmm…..”

SECRET VIEWING DEVICE
Regarding the confusion between Banner and Hulk, I have another issue. Am I misunderstanding something, or is Stan himself getting confused? We know that Tyrannus can see the earthlings on his “secret viewing device,” but I don’t think he’s able to read minds. We know that Betty has a crush on Bruce, but as far as I can see, she hasn’t expressed it in words, only in thought bubbles.

Yet somehow, Tyrannus seems privy to the fact that she loves Bruce Banner, and vows he will use that as “the weapon with which I will conquer the earth.” Now, first of all, he couldn’t really know about Betty’s crush (unless another one of his attributes is that he’s incredibly intuitive about human nature), but more importantly, when he attempts to conquer the Earth, that’s NOT the bargaining chip he uses at all! Instead, he calls up General Ross on his viewing device and says, “I’ve got your daughter, and if you do anything to defy me, it’s curtains for her!” (That’s not actually what he says, I paraphrased, but you get the idea.)

So it’s not Betty’s crush on Bruce that he uses, it’s Ross’ love for his daughter. And later, Tyrannus uses Hulk’s love…or concern…for Betty to get Hulk to do his bidding. How did he know Hulk would value Betty’s life? He didn’t happen to see any of that on his secret viewing device, did he? I know Hulk’s been exceptionally chatty these last few issues, but as far as we know, he hasn’t been verbalizing his feelings about Betty.

I’VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU, SWEETIE PIE…
And as long as we’re at it, what are Hulk’s feelings for Betty? Are they the same as Banner’s feelings for Betty? Earlier I wrote that Tyrannus uses Hulk’s “love” for Betty, but then I changed it to “concern,” because I’m not really sure where Hulk stands in this most unusual love triangle.

But I do know where Betty stands. She’s convinced she must keep her love for Bruce a secret because she fears what her father will think. But more significantly, she is also afraid that Bruce “doesn’t even know I exist.”

Of course, she takes advantage of the sudden visit by Dr. Tyrannus to test her theory and is delighted when Bruce actually appears jealous! You work it, girl! I think all Betty needs is a little self-confidence, and she’ll see that she can land that big lunk. (Banner, I mean. Not Hulk.)

THE VILLAINS
How do our villains fare at the hands of the Incredible Hulk? Tyrannus is crushed by pillars, and Fang’s fate is left to the discretion of his mortal enemies. I started out thinking that it would be more likely that Tyrannus is a one-time villain and Gen. Fang makes another appearance, but after talking with Russ, I found out I was completely wrong! Turns out, it’s the exact opposite. However, I’m adding both to my Villain Valuation chart.

General Ross is not exactly a villain, but he does deserve some mention here for villainous acts. Well, not exactly villainous, but highly antagonistic. Still, when we see him trying to destroy our hero, we should give him the benefit of the doubt, that he’s only trying to do what’s best for the public interest. Previously I speculated that Ross might be trying to develop weapons specifically to be used on the Hulk, and we have confirmation of that with the “iceberg rocket.” I must say, though, what a wimpy weapon! Did Ross really think that turning Hulk into the chewy center of a popsicle was going to keep him down for long? He would’ve been much better off trying the Cobalt Bomb from the Tomorrow Man story—but I have a sneaking suspicion that’s what we’re seeking here:

As for Tyrannus, he at least is one step ahead of Ross, as he stumbles upon the only thing that can apparently weaken the Hulk: GAS! Yep, that’s what it says, right here in the middle of page six. Who knew?? I wonder if this is one of those developments that will later be conveniently forgotten, or if we’ll have further storylines exploiting this weakness? And now, the one opponent who knows how to tame the Hulk, has been crushed under a pile of pillars, so there’s no telling how long it might take to get back to this development.

But getting back to Ross, perhaps he was on the right track after all in focusing an iceberg rocket on Hulk. He just made the liquid way too cold, rather than way too hot. I wonder if someday he might figure it out…

Well, the Iceberg Rocket was a colossal failure, but it did get Hulk angry enough to swear revenge. And now, officially, we have a rivalry, an enmity, a contest. And oh, the irony! Because of course, General Ross has no idea that it was the Incredible Hulk that saved his daughter’s life. Even if Rick Jones were to tell him the entire story, I’m sure he would never believe “that insolent teen-ager.” And Betty’s had an attack of Convenient Amnesia, so we won’t have to worry about her doing anything to mess up this marvelous misunderstanding.

POINT OF NO RETURN
In the Fang story, Bruce worries that each time he changes into the Hulk, the Hulk is more resistant to changing back. I wonder what’s going on here. Is Stan trying to inject back into the mythology some of the suspense that was lost with the introduction of the machine that controls the transformation? In order for Hulk to be fearsome, he needs to be unpredictable, and the possibility that Hulk may be unwilling to turn back into Banner is chock full of unpredictability.

It was rather amusing when Banner tells Rick, “You must never let me REMAIN the Hulk—not if you can help it!” Yeah, right…as if Rick could stop the Hulk from doing anything! But ever-loyal, Rick replies, “Don’t worry, Bruce! I understand!” There’s a good friend for you. At the very least, Rick would try to do anything Banner asks.

I think in the future the relationship between Bruce and Betty will become more interesting, but right now, I find myself intrigued by the all-consuming friendship that Rick Jones has developed with Banner. As an orphan, Rick has no ties, and he’s looking for a family, for someplace to “belong.” Probably for the first time in his life, here’s someone who actually needs him, someone for whom his existence actually makes a difference. For these reasons alone, I understand why he’s so devoted to Banner, but then, throw on top of all this the extraordinary circumstance of Banner periodically turning into a superhero who fights Commies and other criminals, and what kid could resist being part of something so fantastic and important?

At one point, Rick is hurrying back to their secret lab in the caves, worrying “The Hulk’ll blow his top if I ain’t there waitin’ for him!” Really? Blow his top? Again, I feel this is just to create additional, uncalled for drama. True, the Hulk has been a little short with Rick during these stories, calling him “stupid,” and a “brat,” but I don’t know if he would actually “blow his top.”

Besides, if Hulk should get back to the cave and Rick isn’t there, no biggie. Apparently, Banner has installed buttons on the floor of his Morphing Machine so that he or Hulk can control the transformation process, without having to rely on Rick Jones. When Rick imagines that Hulk will “blow his top” if he is not there, maybe he’s simply projecting his wishes into the situation, hoping that Hulk will be upset and devastated if his little buddy isn’t there. Rick wants to be important to both Banner and Hulk. I’m sure he wishes that Banner/Hulk would rely on him for everything. The power in his unique position is probably going to his insolent teenaged head.

Rick’s “insolence” may be the result of being raised without a family, but the next time we travel to the Marvelous Zone, we’ll discover that having a family can sometimes be the catalyst for insolence on a Shakespearean scale. Join us next time, for “When Brothers Collide!”