TALES OF SUSPENSE #44: All the Time ’n’ the World

Published: August, 1963

Boy, that Tony Stark sure does lead the jet-setting life! First, he travels to Egypt, to help an archaeologist pal locate King Hatap’s tomb, and later, when Iron Man excavates the tomb and the evil Hatap is revived from suspended animation, the “Mad Pharaoh” uses a “golden charm” to travel back in time to ancient Egypt, taking Tony Stark with him! So, in this story, Stark does it all, traveling through both space…and time!

I dare any jet-setter to beat that feat!

In ancient Egypt, Stark dons his Iron Man suit, fights the Romans, and saves the queen, Cleopatra. In the commotion, Hatap accidentally falls on a sword. Grateful and impressed, Cleopatra asks Iron Man to stay and rule with her. He’s tempted by her beauty, but ultimately declines the offer, instead returning to his jet-setting world of technological wonders and adoring beautiful babes.

GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
If you ask me, Stark was simply being polite when he engages in his moment of indecision—-“Gee that’s Cleopatra sure is a looker! Maybe I oughta stay!” Sure, she’s a looker, sporting those cat eyes and classic high cheekbones, but in my mind, it’s a toss-up who’s more attractive: Cleopatra… or the shapely present-day belly dancer on page 3!

As mentioned before, the artists of Marvel Comics in these early days do not seem entirely skilled in the artistic depiction of attractive women. I say “do not seem,” because I have to wonder: are they indeed not skilled, or did they simply not take the time to put their full effort into drawing pretty girls? How many awful Jane Fosters have we seen? How many smudgy-faced Sue Storms? Our first view of Pepper Potts—I can’t even tell if we’re supposed to think she’s good looking!

But I sense all this is getting ready to change, and cite this shapely belly dancer as perhaps a first step in that direction. This is, by far, the most provocative image I’ve yet run across in Marvel Comics. Here is a woman who is not only attractive, but also exudes sexuality. As the 1960’s readership continues to shift from little boys to young men, I predict we will see more images like this. Young men won’t be content with scary, creepy aliens—they also want to ogle hot babes! And even if we don’t immediately get a plethora of hot babes, hopefully we are entering an era when the depictions of women will be given the same respect and attention to detail as everything else on the page.

Case in point: In this issue, there’s yet one more toss-up. Best looking of the bunch: Cleopatra, the belly dancer, or Tony Stark? If you ask me, Stark wins this one, hands down. You could say he has to be the most attractive, because nobody wants to look at a nebbishly plain hero. Besides, isn’t it a lot more fun when your millionaire playboy looks like Rock Hudson, David Niven, or…dare I say it…Robert Downey Jr.?

So, artist Don Heck offers us an extremely rugged and good-looking hero. I just have one question: why does the colorist insist on giving his hair red highlights? Don’t tall, dark and handsome leading men generally have blue highlights?

MOVIE PROMO?
Though this is the August 1963 issue of Tales of Suspense, two months earlier the Elizabeth Taylor movie Cleopatra premiered in American movie theaters. It makes me wonder if Marvel is promoting the movie, having fun with pop culture, or simply trying to cash in with reference to an existing property?

I talked with Russ, and he explained that comic books were always dated several months into the future, so the books could remain on newsstands as long as possible. So this issue, dated “August,” would have actually been available as early as May or June—right before the movie came out! Do we have our answer? An unashamed promotional tie-in?

On the cover, as Iron Man rescues Cleopatra, she’s smiling, looking nothing like a damsel in distress. And that’s probably because this scene never actually happens in the story. Cleopatra knows it’s just a photo op, and like any beautiful celebrity, she’s making the most of it. Almost makes you wonder why they didn’t try to get Liz Taylor to pose for the shot.

FRIENDS AND VILLAINS
Villain Hatap makes a brief appearance in this comic, and will never be seen again (if you don’t believe me, check the Chronology Project), so I won’t waste a lot of time on him, except to say, “He lives, he lives again, he meets Iron Man, he dies.”

However, I do want to say something about Tony Stark’s archaeologist “friend,” Paul. Sadly, Paul doesn’t seem to have a lot of confidence in his amazing friend. “Gosh, Tony…” he says, “If only you COULD” get Iron Man to help with the dig. Why does he doubt? If they’re really friends, doesn’t Paul know Iron Man is Stark’s bodyguard, and by extension, his employee? And shouldn’t he realize that when your billionaire boss tells you to do something, “Well…let me think about it,” is probably not the most likely response?

We’ve seen this kind of doubting response from Sue Storm, when Reed is about to do something fantastic, and I’ve lamented that there’s just no good reason for it. I’d like to think that if I lived in the Marvel Universe in the company of the super-smart and superheroes, I’d have a little more confidence that anything is possible.

ENGLISH 101
Now, I will apologize beforehand, but my inner “Grammar Nazi” is going to make a brief appearance.

On the cover, Pharaoh is misspelled “P H A R O A H.” Not that big a deal, since most people don’t know how to spell Pharaoh, anyway. Be honest: would you have noticed, if I hadn’t mentioned it?*

Okay, one more: Splitting the word “sacred” in the middle so it reads as “Sack Red.” I’ve long been a contender that if you have enough room to put the “dash” when splitting a word, you might as well squeeze in the rest of the word. In this case, there’s no question the words could have been better arranged in the balloon.

TIME TRAVEL ISSUES
Now on to more integral aspects of the story. How about that whole “time travel” business? Guess Iron Man doesn’t adhere to the pesky Prime Directive. He jumps right in to affect history, with little regard to whether or not a fly he swats in ancient Egypt will result in Earth being ruled by the Martians. Perhaps not as responsible as one would like their hero, but certainly a lot more fun!

I may have mentioned before that time travel stories really boggle my mind, and this one is no exception. Some questions arise:

• How did Hatap learn about Stark, and how “brilliant” he is? How does he even know it’s the 20th century and he’s been suspended for 2,000 years? The only plausible explanation is that after being awakened, he lurked around listening to the workers. But that’s not explained, so it leaves us wondering if he comes by this knowledge by some form of sorcery, or by simple eavesdropping.

• If Hatap has the time-traveling “golden charm” when he awakens in 1963, why didn’t he use it in the past? And if he didn’t have it in the past, how does he know about it when he awakens?

• The “golden charm” transports Hatap and Stark to the past via a “non-existent” chariot of time. Even as they’re traveling, Stark muses, “I know I’m under some occult hypnotic spell,” which indicates he doesn’t believe this is really happening, but immediately follows up with, “We are traveling through time.” Well…which is it? Hypnosis, or the reality of time travel?

• At the end of the story, when Stark is returned to 1963, Paul points out a hieroglyphic that shows Cleopatra embracing a golden-armored figure. Was that image always there, indicating that Iron Man has always gone back to save the day, or were the hieroglyphics altered after his latest adventure?

THE NOBLE HERO
I’m noticing a trend in these Iron Man stories, where the villain threatens that if Stark will not assist in his evil plan, innocent people will die. So Stark agrees, but of course he always has something up his sleeve…or should I say, in his attaché case!

I’m not much of a Superman fan, but when we recently watched the Smallville series, I noted that Clark Kent/Superman/Red-Blue Blur would never actually kill the bad guy, but somehow the villain always managed to get himself killed. Same thing here: Hatap stumbles as he tries to catch the “golden charm” that slips out of his hand. But, it slipped out of his hand because Iron Man sprayed it with oil! Iron Man goes so far as to shout, “Hey! Watch out!” but still, Hatap manages to fall on an upturned sword, presumably killing himself. Technically, Iron Man does not actually kill Hatap…but without Iron Man’s “assistance,” Hatap would not have died.

So, Iron Man serendipitously gets the job done without actually having to damage his reputation as a noble hero. The villain is no more, and Iron Man/Tony Stark remains a true Renaissance Man of honor and heart.

Not so much next time, when a younger, more impulsive hero finds he must bend and break the rules in order to capture a villain who can be neither bent nor broken. Join me again soon for more surprises and fun, right here in the Marvelous Zone!

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*I’ll be honest, as well: I didn’t notice “pharaoh” was misspelled, either; Russ pointed it out.