FANTASTIC FOUR #19

“Prisoners of the Pharoah[sic]!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
The Four travel to ancient Egypt in Doctor Doom’s abandoned time machine, seeking a fabled cure for Alicia’s blindness. Turns out Pharaoh Rama-Tut is a time-traveler, with a ray gun that saps their will. When Thing reverts to Ben Grimm, he grabs the gun, and eventually all are restored, but Rama-Tut escapes in his time machine. A huge vial of radioactive “Optic Nerve Restorative” cannot make the trip back to the present, but Alicia appreciates their efforts, and above all, is glad they’re all safe.

WHAT’S HOT
♫…K-I-S-S-I-N-G…♫ In the very first panel of the story, Johnny suggests Thing and Alicia might elope. Guess things are getting serious for the one who can’t see and the one who looks best unseen.

CHRONOLOGY PART 1. Reed is intrigued by a gap in ancient Egyptian history. He reminds me of my sweetie, Russ, who strives to provide a complete chronology of the Marvel Universe.

CHRONOLOGY PART 2. The gang travels to Doom’s destroyed castle, which was blown up over a year ago in FF #5. How convenient that the events of that story provide an opportunity for this story! Now there’s chronology at work!

THE RESTLESS DESPOT. I absolutely love Rama-Tut explaining why he left the comfort and security of the future: “I come from the glorious age of enlightenment, the century of peace and progress…the ultimate in civilization and culture! AND I HATED IT!” Jeez! Some people are never happy…

THING’S INFLUENCE. The way the ancient Egyptians see it: “The monstrous one has the strength of a thousand demons!” Yeah! And he looks like one too!

PLAYING WITH HISTORY, PART 1. Rama-Tut’s time machine is the Sphinx. Hey, when you’re writing comic books, you can take any historical liberties you want.

PLAYING WITH HISTORY, PART 2. Wait!! Is Rama-Tut the descendent of Doctor Doom? And if so, is he too good a character to only appear once?

WHAT’S NOT
HOW’S THAT SPELT? Once again, (as we recently saw in Tales of Suspense #44) the word pharaoh is misspelled “p h a r o a h.”

WHO’S THERE? Reed as a peeping Tom, stretching downwards from the top of the building to look into Alicia’s window is just…well…CREEPY…

BANG BANG. According to Rama-Tut’s account of the future, two thousand years from now, they’ll still be making Westerns. Ugh. Not my favorite genre. Even if I might get to watch it in “3-D stereovision.”

HELLO!! REMEMBER ME??
As the story begins, I’m thinking, “Why don’t they take Alicia with them into the past, since she’s the one they’re trying to help?” Then, as the story ends, I’m thinking, “Ah ha! Now I understand.”

If they had brought Alicia with them, perhaps they could have administered the potion in ancient Egypt, and the effects may have remained with her as she traveled back to 1963. And if they didn’t, perhaps Alicia and Thing could remain in ancient Egypt, where she has her sight, he enjoys periodic sunbaths as Ben Grimm, and the rest of the time, they can rule the land together. After all, with the departure of Rama-Tut in his time machine, and Thing’s reputation as “the monstrous one with the strength of a thousand demons,” he might be a shoo-in for the recently vacated position of all-powerful Pharaoh.

JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #97

“The Mighty Thor Battles the Lava Man”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Don Heck
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Don tries to express his feeling for Jane, but things don’t go well. As Thor, he agonizes over Odin’s refusal to allow him to marry her. In Asgard, Loki realizes that the time to strike is now, and he raises the Lava Man from the volcanic pits to the surface. Thor snaps out of his funk long enough to battle the Lava Man and send him back to the center of the earth. Blake returns to his office, eager to patch things up with Jane, but it’s too late. She’s decided that Don Blake is not the guy for her, and goes to work for another doctor.

WHAT’S HOT
SOAP. I love that Lava Man is merely the window dressing. Insert any garden-variety easily-defeated villain as Thor’s distraction, and the reason for this tale still stands: the battle is not against Lava Man, it’s Thor’s inner tug-of-war between duty and love.

LANGUAGE. Always poetic Thor describes Loki’s laughter as “sinister chortles,” and considers Lava Man “a foe worthy of my mettle.” And just in case Odin doesn’t realize how serious he is about Jane Foster, Thor presents his petition as “I CRAVE permission to marry a mortal.”

WHAT’S NOT
ILLITERATE VILLAIN. Thor’s poetic prose sounds even more flowery when pitted against Lava Man’s “Your words is as futile as your deeds.” Oh, really? IS they now? Sounds to me like Lava Man’s been taking speech lessons from the Hulk. In addition to dismissing the surface-dwellers as “puny humans,” and referring to Thor as “the costumed one,” he also emotes one very strong, expressive “Bah!”

ALL THE BETTER TO SEE YOU WITH? When Odin appears at Thor’s bidding, he’s wearing spectacles. Did Thor interrupt him in the middle of a good book…or perhaps balancing his checkbook?

OH, SPOILT ONE! Disappointed that Odin does not grant permission to marry Jane Foster, Thor whines, “He has never refused me before!” This sounds like a spoiled brat who’s used to always getting his own way.

PRIORITIES, PLEASE? It’s appalling that Thor would even CONSIDER giving up his godhood for romantic love. Yes, I know history and literature are adrift in such nonsense, but…c’mon! This is THOR, man! He’s a GOD. Right? I don’t know about you, but I hold my gods to a higher standard.

THAT WOLF! When Jane announces she’s going to work for Doctor Basil Andrews, Blake exclaims, “That wolf who has always tried to date you!” Oh…so is that what wolves do? They try to get dates…?

DON’T FORGET TO ALLITERATE! Stan often used alliteration as a way to remember the first and last names of his huge cast of characters (Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, etc). Here Dr. Andrews’ given name is Basil when Jane mentions him on page 6, but during his cameo appearance on the last page, he’s referred to as Dr. BRUCE Andrews! Was a Hulk story also in the works at the same time? Maybe Stan should have reached into his bag of tricks and called that wolf Dr. ANDREW Andrews.

ROMANTIC CONFUSION
At one point, it becomes crystal clear that both Blake and Jane are aware they have the hots for each other, even though neither will say so. “I think I know what it is that you’re trying to say,” Jane tells Blake, and he responds, “Oh Jane…my darling…” That’s good enough for me…how about you?

Clearly, they like each other. Now, I understand Thor won’t go against his father’s wishes, but what’s up with Jane? She tells Blake, “I know how I feel about you…and…I won’t take the chance…of saying ‘yes’ to a man who is too weak to speak his mind.” Huh?? So she likes him…but she doesn’t want to like him? Hey! I’m a girl, and this drivel doesn’t make sense to me.

Jane has no idea how romance works. At the end of the story, when she appears with Dr. Andrews’ arm around her shoulder, she chides Blake with, “A woman wants a MAN…not a timid mouse! And so, I’m leaving…” and Andrews adds, “Don’t worry, Blake—you’ll find another nurse!” And I’m left shaking my head, because I’m not sure all the characters are on the same page. Are we discussing romantic love…or employment? Jane seems to be confusing the two, and Andrews, “that wolf,” is happily playing right along.

STRANGE TALES #113

“The Coming of the Plantman!”
Plot: Stan Lee
Script: Joe Carter
Art: Dick Ayers
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
A freak lightning strike gives a bitter gardener the power to control all plant life. With dreams of conquering the world, Plantman begins by commanding the shrubbery to subdue the Human Torch. However, in the end, Torch uses his firepower to drain moisture from all the plants, which then attack their unbearable master.

In other news, Johnny courts Doris Evans, who is not a fan of the Human Torch and has no problem saying so.

WHAT’S HOT
“PLANTS OUTNUMBER PEOPLE BY THE BILLIONS.” There’s a good idea for a villain here—Man Vs. Nature, that kind of thing. In the right hands, controlling all plant life could be a truly awesome and terrifying superpower. However, I was neither awestruck nor terrified by the nameless gardener who dubs himself “Plantman.” He doesn’t seem very intelligent, focused or organized.

First of all…Plantman? Really? He couldn’t come up with a better name than that? Then he jumps right into “Today the city, tomorrow the world!” without a clear-cut plan of how to accomplish it, other than “Destroy Torch!!” I hope Marvel will revisit this idea, tantalizing us with an overzealous horticulture professor who’s nursing an obsessive concern for the environment…rather than a common gardener who’s pissed off because he got fired.

WHAT’S NOT
DORIS EVANS. The cover invites us to “Meet the Torch’s newest girl friend, lovely Doris Evans!” A mention on the cover makes me wonder if she’s going to be around for a while. I hope not. What a pill! Doris is cold, insulting (calls Torch a “fiery nitwit”), and unappreciative of Johnny’s special talents.

What does he see in her? Well, he himself has to admit, if she “wasn’t so doggone pretty…” Dot dot dot…So I guess Doris is supposed to be attractive, though you would never know it from Dick Ayers art. Still, even if she was a looker, there are plenty of beautiful babes who wouldn’t mind getting hot and heavy with Torch. Why doesn’t he hook up with one of them? Or would that be too easy? After all, he is a superhero…maybe he can’t resist a good challenge?

TALES OF SUSPENSE #46

“Iron Man Faces the Crimson Dynamo!”
Plot: Stan Lee
Script: Robert Berns
Art: Don Heck
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Russian scientist Professor Vanko dons his Crimson Dynamo armor to destroy Tony Stark’s industrial plants across America. When he and Iron Man meet at Stark’s main facility, the two battle until Stark deceives Vanko with a doctored recording of the Russian “leader” planning to kill him. Not really deceptive, though—turns out those were the leader’s intentions exactly! Stark persuades Vanko to defect and offers him an upper-level management position at Stark Industries.

WHAT’S HOT
LOYALTY. Both Pepper and Happy agree to stick with Tony, even when the chips are down. We’re seeing the beginnings of a strong supporting cast.

DEFECTION. Now that Vanko has defected, maybe the “Crimson” in his uniform could represent not Communism, but…a newfound obsession with Alabama’s college football team, the Crimson Tide??

WHAT’S NOT
OVERSTATING THE CASE. Yeah, we all know that Commies are no-good-niks, but this story’s portrayal of the unnamed Russian leader is over the top. Fat, ugly, self-centered, deceitful, insulting, and viciously ambitious—he MUST have a little doggie at home that he showers with kisses and generous helpings of pirogies and paskha, because nobody could possibly be this evil without wearing a costume. I wonder if the readers of the day felt the same.

TALES TO ASTONISH #48

“Ant-Man and the Wasp Defy the Porcupine!”
Plot: Stan Lee
Script: H.E. Huntley
Art: Don Heck
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
Hank designs a burglar-proof security system for a new bank, but he doesn’t count on disgruntled scientist Alex Gentry, who uses a weaponized porcupine suit to rob the bank. Ant-Man sets out to capture Porcupine, but he’s trapped in a slippery tub of water. The Wasp rallies the ants for a rescue, then they all work together to clog the Porcupine’s quills with liquid cement. However, the Porcupine manages to escape and vows to strike again.

WHAT’S HOT
PORCUPINE?? On the cover we read that the “Dreaded Porcupine” is “a super-villain you’ll never forget!” Perhaps, but we may be remembering him for all the wrong reasons. When Gentry reviews inventory for his new super-villain identity, the inclusion of “liquid cement” reminds me way too much of Paste Pot Pete, so I can’t take him seriously. But Gentry’s description of a porcupine as “nature’s perfect fighting machine…that WEARS its weapons” really does make sense, if you think about it. So goofy as the whole idea seems, I’m going thumbs up on this one.

LIGHT BANTERING. The narrator begins by noting “light bantering,” between the leads, and we later see some cute moments at the bank opening, when under-the-weather Janet chides Henry with “Stop sounding so much like a…a husband!” and “I thought you were going to hold my hand, but I see you only wanted to feel my pulse!” We end the story with Henry providing medicine, but Janet is mad it’s not “Furs…jewelry…or perhaps…a RING??” These two seem to be getting quite comfortable in their unique, if sometimes uneasy, relationship.

BE MY GUEST! The “guest room, behind the lab” looks bigger than our entire house.

WHAT’S NOT
AND THE NAME OF OUR STORY IS… On the cover, we’re promised “Ant-Man and the Wasp Battle the Porcupine,” but as soon as we turn the page, it’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp DEFY the Porcupine.” Not really a big deal, because from the outset we’re certain our little heroes will both battle and defy the villain, but it would be nice to have some consistency. I mean, how would you feel if you bought the Dickens classic A Tale of Two Cities, and when you turned to the first page saw that you were about to read “A Story of Two Cities”? It’s not a biggie, but still, it’s easy enough to get it right…so why not?

WISHY WASHY. As Gentry introduces us to his porcupine suit, he muses that he thinks it’s the ultimate in weaponry. Huh?? Shouldn’t super villains be supremely confident?? To be fair, six panels later he’s convinced he’s about to become the king of the criminal world. So he may start slow, but eventually he catches on.

INCONSPICUOUS? Sure, the Porcupine has an arsenal at his disposal, but in that get-up, how can he ever make the first move? He’s hardly inconspicuous. Even in an overcoat, he’s too likely to be mistaken for the Thing, and be hounded for autographs.

EMPTY PROMISES. Pym builds a bank vault that is supposedly burglar-proof, but a guy in a costume breaks in before the bank president can finish his opening speech. I wouldn’t hire Henry Pym as head of my Security Innovations department, any time soon.

FOCUS. As the Porcupine pulls more and more bank robberies, he grows concerned that Ant-Man and the Wasp might soon be on his trail. Why does he not worry about the FF, or Spider-Man, or Thor or Iron Man? Are these little guys the only superheroes in town?

NORMAL FEVER? When Janet recovers from her illness, the narrator expresses it as “her fever normal again.” Are there normal fevers and abnormal fevers?

CAN ANTS SWIM? Why would Ant-Man be in peril in the bathtub? It’s described as “slippery,” which would explain why he can’t get out, but why can’t he stay afloat?