AVENGERS #5: Some Assembly Required

Published: May, 1964

The Marvel Universe is becoming less episodic. Over the last few months, we’ve seen more and more stories spread themselves out over two issues. We’ve also seen more references to events from previous issues cropping up to color the current action. Most exciting of all, though, is this new concept of a superhero GROUP, composed of individual superheroes we already know and love.

I just finished reading a two-part story where the Fantastic Four, with help from the Avengers, battle the always ornery Hulk. Today’s story picks up exactly where that one left off, with the Avengers inspecting the damages wrought in the previous adventure. There’s no particular plot reason to have these first couple of pages, except to establish a line of continuity, tying one story to the next. It feels awkward to tackle this Avengers story before I actually review the second installment of the Fantastic Four adventure (which will appear in the upcoming May, 1964 Meanwhile post), but Russ assures me these anomalies in continuity happen all the time in the Marvel Universe. Now that the stories are becoming less episodic, I see I’m beginning to run into that.

However, more importantly, the temporary dispersing of the group reminds us that each Avenger has another life.

DISBANDED
Thor suggests they disband since they all have “personal matters to attend to.” We can only imagine that for Thor, those “personal matters” are likely to include further strategizing on how to get father Odin to approve his marriage to the love of his life, Jane Foster.

Iron Man also has issues that need his attention. Tony Stark, the “millionaire playboy industrialist,” not only has to call in a contractor to repair his damaged mansion (mere pocket change…), but he constantly needs to take precautions against “the threat of sudden death due to the piece of shrapnel” that could kill him at any moment.

It’s a heavy load to bear. Almost as heavy as his personal qualifier, “millionaire playboy industrialist.” And, as we know, he’s also a philanthropist (remember those visits to entertain orphans?). But thank goodness, we aren’t reminded of THAT on a constant basis, as well!

Oh! And did I happen to mention…one handsome devil? That’s another cross Tony must bear, so often included in his lengthy list of descriptors. However, in this story, Stark merely mentions his “alleged good looks.” He’s alone when he says this, so we assume he’s talking to himself, not trying to impress anyone with his humility (“the HUMBLE handsome millionaire playboy industrialist philanthropist”). But it makes you wonder: does Tony really not know how handsome he is??? Or, perhaps, being keenly aware of his many positive attributes, does the illustrious Tony Stark constantly endeavor to studiously practice humility, so that even when he’s alone, he tries desperately to convince himself he’s not as wonderful as he really knows he is?

All of this is a lot to deal with, when you’re not busy being an Avenger.

Captain America fares a little better during his off time. He’s attached himself to his pseudo-Bucky-buddy, Rick Jones, and through him, the entire Teen Brigade. Here Cap is in his element, entertaining and coaching American youth with heavy-handed messages about “why it’s so vitally important to eat the right foods and get plenty of exercise and eight hours of sleep!”

The Teen Brigade doesn’t seem to mind the lectures, though. They’re on Cloud Nine–they’ve got a real live superhero in their midst! They’re so jazzed by all this, when Cap says, “You guys wait here while Rick and I go off to meet with the Avengers,” they can’t even find it in their hearts to be jealous of the favored Brigade member. They just gush, “Gosh! How lucky can he be?” no doubt wondering if the day will ever come when Cap picks THEM for the side kick gig. (And he just might–if only they eat the right foods, and get plenty of exercise and sleep!)

Meanwhile, Ant-Man and Wasp have slipped back into their routine, which involves playful bickering and obsessing over isotope action in an ant hill. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

TEAMWORK!
Of course, all this takes a back seat to more Avengers action, when the subterranean Lava Men push an explosive Living Rock to earth’s surface, so it can wipe out humanity and leave “whatever remains of our once-proud civilization” for the Lava Men to re-cultivate.

Such a cataclysmic possibility calls back into service not only the Avengers, but also scientist Bruce Banner, who’s using the cover story that he’s been ill, but he’s better now. Betty Ross makes a guest appearance, encouraging Bruce to solve the Living Rock mystery, as it may help her tyrannical parent, General “Thunderbolt” Ross, “feel differently about you… about us!” (Incidentally, in this issue, I finally figure out how General Ross got the nickname “Thunderbolt”: is there EVER a time when this guy is not YELLING at someone??)

Before Banner can be of much scientific use, however, he morphs into Hulk and approaches the Avengers—-like they haven’t got enough on their plate, with an exploding Living Rock and army of Lava Men to fight!

But these Avengers are level-headed crusaders who take things one step at a time. Upon arriving on the scene and finding the Living Rock, Iron Man quickly announces that he’ll investigate. When Rick Jones questions, “Wait! What about the rest of us??” Cap replies, “You HEARD the man, Rick! We don’t question each other’s commands! Iron Man must have his reasons!”

At which point, I’m asking myself: And how exactly does that work? We have a crew of Alpha super-beings who are all accustomed to being large and in charge when accomplishing their own superhero exploits. Each believes that HE has what it takes to finish the job. You don’t survive as a superhero by trusting that someone else will step in to take care of business. No, it’s you or no one, it’s now or never. That’s how superheroes work.

In that upcoming Fantastic Four story I referenced earlier, there’s a wonderful example of how too much superhero mojo can gum up the works. We’ll talk about that in the Meanwhile post, but for a sneak peek, click here.

So, how does this group learn to function as a TEAM?

I’m thinking about football. A football team practices together over a long period of time to learn each other’s movements and nuances, as well as develop game plans and strategies. Muscle memory is enforced, as impeccable timing develops. But we don’t see the Avengers getting together for “superhero practice” (like the X-Men do, exhaustively). With their many divided interests (science, medicine, industry, philanthropy and romance, as well as their individual superhero careers), unless they all count “Intuitively Knowing When to Strike, And When to Hold Back” among their superhero powers, I’ve got to wonder how they get this show up and running smoothly.

But I’m not wondering for long. Almost immediately I realize: this group, the Avengers, is composed of some pretty smart dudes. Stark didn’t get to be a millionaire playboy industrialist philanthropist without also being intelligent. Pym’s a scientist, and Thor is a GOD. Maybe they all DO intuitively know when to strike, and when to hold back.

As they approach the Living Rock, Iron Man decides to go in first, because his armor will protect him from radiation. But when he finds the heat of the Lava Men unbearable, he pulls back, and the heartier Thor takes up the mantle.

Meanwhile, Hank and Jan shrink to make a detailed examination of the Living Rock, and scientist Pym discovers some invaluable information. He sees “one small area which isn’t pulsating” and instantly deduces that “if a strong enough blow could strike this exact spot, it would destroy the rock without causing a cataclysmic explosion!”

Oh, really? How does he know this? How can he be certain that striking the rock on that one small area is not the very thing that causes an explosion so intense it blows up the solar system? Nobody has ever seen anything like this Living Rock before, and yet Pym is willing to hang the survival of the human race upon this leap of faith.

That’s not the point, though. The point is that when Giant-Man becomes Ant-Man and employs the Pym brain to come up with the solution to the problem (no matter how far-fetched that solution may seem), he’s using his smarts to make his own unique contribution.

We’ll look past Pym’s far-fetched hunch, and also look past the “freak one-in-a-million combination of molecules” that magically causes Thor to revert to Don Blake, at the precise moment it’s assumed that only a blow from Thor’s hammer can save the planet.

It’s all so terribly inconvenient. And dramatic. But that’s not the point, and anyway, it doesn’t matter. Because what happens next?

The Avengers put their super brains together to form Plan B. “The Wasp and I have a plan,” Giant-Man announces, and Wasp adds, “It was Captain America’s idea!” Now we’re working together, like a well-oiled machine! Giant-Man lures Hulk to the magic spot on the Living Rock, then confuses him with his amazing size-shifting. Cap further “dazzles” Hulk with his spinning shield, while Wasp annoys the not-so-jolly green giant and gets him to strike the Living Rock in exactly the right place at exactly the right split-second.

With Thor missing in action, the remaining Avengers have tricked the disgruntled former Avenger into saving the world of puny humans. Hulk isn’t even a functioning member of the group, but the others know how to push his buttons and make him do what they need him to do.

So. Turns out there are actually TWO forces that can strike a strong enough blow to cause the Living Rock to implode rather than explode: one is Thor’s hammer, but the other is Hulk’s fist.

And, conveniently, though the first is unavailable, the second works like a charm. And the world is saved. Again.

Mile-wide coincidences and gaping plot holes aside, by the end of this story, I’m asking myself a different question: if the Avengers are this good without team practice, how awesome would they be if they forsook “disbanding” after an adventure, and hung out together to have pizza (or shawarma…) and get in some super-charged superhero practice?

But there won’t be time for practice any time soon! This story ends with the Teen Brigade sending a “Condition Red” emergency notice, and so another adventure starts before the Avengers even have a chance to take a breath. Kind of reminds me of Quantum Leap, where at the end of every episode, Sam would time-travel to his next assignment. Sam’s customary “Oh, boy!” is here translated into Iron Man’s final panel exclamation of “Let’s go!!”

But that, my friends, is another story…