STRANGE TALES #125

The Sub-Mariner Must Be Stopped!
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Dick Ayers
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
Thing and Torch are livid when two reporters show up to interview not them, but Reed and Sue. When Sub-Mariner is spotted heading for NY, their bruised egos lead them to tackle Namor on their own. The usual shenanigans ensue, until Reed and Sue show up and Namor makes a quick exit. Reed reveals Namor was coming to discuss a peace settlement; Sue reveals the reporters were planning a surprise article about Torch and Thing. Believing the whole thing was a trap, Namor is now even more wary of the Four.

WHAT’S HOT
ASBESTOS RUG. I continue to be amazed at the number of everyday items in Johnny Storm’s world that just happen to be made of asbestos.

BAH! Namor gets in a good “Bah!” on the bottom of page five, and again in the middle of page six. It’s good to see the classics haven’t gone out of style…at least not yet.

WHAT’S NOT
I’M FROM THE NEWSPAPER AND I’M HERE TO INTERVIEW YOU. Why are they still opening the front door for just anyone who says they’re with the press? Are their egos so big they lose all sense of caution when faced with the thrill of publicity? Haven’t they learned anything yet from their past experiences?

CAN YOU SAY…CW? Isn’t Johnny still in high school? Then why is he drawn like he’s 29? Could it be that artist Dick Ayers is simply anticipating an eventual CW adaptation of the Fantastic Four?

HELP! IT’S KELP! It’s hard to imagine Thing could be bound with kelp, no matter how strong the strands. It’s also hard to imagine he needs Torch to boil the kelp like spaghetti to soften it. I understand we’re going for a sense of teamwork, but this plot contrivance comes under the heading of “trying too hard.”

TALK TO ME. In the end, Reed reveals Namor was coming to smoke the peace pipe, and Johnny and Thing RUINED it for the rest of society. Well, maybe if Reed had bothered to communicate and share this information, none of this would have happened. So once again…it’s all Reed’s fault.

NOT SURE…
SPANKING, ANYONE? Thing always wants to spank someone. Is this compulsion a part of the recent cosmic ray treatment, or does Ben Grimm secretly (or not-so-secretly) also enjoy administering a good spanking now and then?

“Mordo Must Not Catch Me!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Steve Ditko
Inks: George Bell
Letters: Art Simek
Once again, Mordo uses threat of harm against the Ancient One to draw Dr. Strange into magical battle. And once again, Strange prevails, and the Ancient One is spared. Ho hum…why do we care? Because it’s not so much the story as the telling that makes this an exciting piece of comic literature.

“SOME OF THE LANGUAGE IN HERE JUST SLAYS ME”
As I worked my way through the multiple overstuffed word balloons and narrations, I began to hear the majestic voice of James Earl Jones as the off-screen narrator, Christopher Lee as Mordo…and still trying to figure out who provides the voice of our hero, Dr. Strange. (Could it be Cumberbatch? If you have any suggestions, please comment below.)

So now, without further ado, I provide for your enjoyment a list of the descriptive and grandiose language and phrases that elevate this story to the epic proportions that seem almost inappropriate for such a humble medium as a 12-cent comic book.

Read slowly, and carefully, and as you do, if you can imagine the booming enunciations of Mr. Jones and Mr. Lee, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about.

• Omnipotent
• Fraught
• Impregnable
• Begone!
• Esoteric epic
• Eerie enigma
• Mental emanations
• Venerable mentor
• Sanctum Sanctorum
• Behold
• Blunder
• Hapless
• Plight
• Vanquished
• Half-hidden jungle
• Hidden haven
• Irrevocable error
• His avenging arch-enemy
• Inviolable

And now some phrases:

• “anxious to hurl all his dark and diabolical power against his eternal enemy”
• “I am hampered by no such senseless fears”
• “Fleeing to the calm countryside …is a useless maneuver”
• “But still the silent fugitive continues his seemingly meaningless flight”
• “I shall hurl your taunts back into your teeth”
• “The surging awesome energy of my amulet, growing ever brighter—ever stronger—until it reaches the peak of its power and defeats you with its unbearable intensity!”
• “See how your shield continues to shatter”
• “Naught remains to mark the mystic battle”

And naught remains to be said about the telling of “Mordo Must Not Catch Me.” It’s sheer poetry. Period.

JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #109

“When Magneto Strikes!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
Magneto sends his minions to locate the X-Men, then creates a magnetic disorder in the city, which causes Thor to investigate and locate his hidden submarine. When Magneto cannot persuade the Thunder God to join him, they fight. Thor carelessly loses his hammer and, as Blake, is almost killed; but when Magneto is distracted by a message that his crew is being pursued by the X-Men, Blake finds his cane, and as Thor once again, forces Magneto to retreat. Later, Jane forgives Blake for breaking their date and serves him a sandwich and glass of milk.

WHAT’S HOT
THE MARVELOUS HALL OF HEROES. The story begins with a nondescript gentleman showing Thor a collection of super-hero statues on display at the World’s Fair. Stan’s really been getting his money’s worth out of this World’s Fair. This is not the first time the event has figured in the Marvel Universe. (By the way, I also think it’s amusing there are no DC super-heroes on display at the World’s Fair… )

SHE SAID…WHAT??? As Magneto’s evil band of mutants boards the craft that will propel them on their mission to locate the X Men, Wanda remarks that it will be a relief to get away from “that evil creature,” obviously referring to Magneto. In fact, a moment later Toad triumphantly sneers, “I’ll tell Magneto what you said!” But…but…Magneto is standing RIGHT THERE during the entire exchange! So, what is Toad going to tell him that he doesn’t already know? Fact is, Magneto doesn’t seem to care one whit about any of it. As he declares in the very next panel, “I ask not for friendship or love…all I demand is fear, and blind obedience!” What a marvelous moment showing each so thoroughly in character.

PURPOSE AND CONFIDENCE. On page 18, Magneto remarks “I was BORN to rule mankind!” Once again, completely in character. This is precisely how Magneto sees himself—not so much as a villain, but more as divinely appointed to a spectacular destiny.

READY FOR ANYTHING. Only a villain the caliber of Magneto would just happen to have a thermo-nuclear proton bomb in the basement of his submarine.

NEXT TIME IN MARVEL COMICS…The X-Men make a near-cameo appearance—we hear of them hot on Magneto’s trail, and see Bobby’s ice envelop the bomb, then a mysterious craft with only an X painted on the side makes an exit, stage left. But outside of Angel’s shadow and Beast’s hands, we never see the X-Men themselves. Curious choice, because the X-Men could have made an appearance, but for some reason it seems Stan wants to keep the meeting of Thor and the X-Men for a later date. A wise decision, if you ask me. We have decades and decades of Marvelous Meetings to get through; let’s save a little for later.

YOU LOOK…MARVELOUS! At home and out of her dowdy nurse’s uniform, Jane appears as an extremely shapely female in her slacks and tight top. But her shirt seems to have some sort of mysterious yellow emblem emblazoned on the chest, which leads me to wonder…could Jane ALSO be a super-heroine in her spare time, keeping a huge secret from her dear doctor?

WHAT’S NOT
TESTING…ONE TWO THREE… Why does Magneto cause that brief magnetic disturbance? It doesn’t do any real super-villain harm for the few seconds he has all the metal objects suspended in space, but surely he should have realized such actions could bring him to the attention of a meddlesome do-gooder. It’s almost like he was looking for a fight. Or…realizing that his band of evil mutants are more like a motley crew of misfits, was this his latest recruitment strategy for new potential minions?

CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. Magneto says, “Nothing can get past my magnetic repellor field,” and in fact he is able to hold back Thor’s hammer long enough to cause trouble for our hero. But later, Thor informs Magneto, “My mallet’s uru energy can draw the magnetic field from you.” Well, which is it? Which is greater—Magneto’s magnetic power, or the mallet’s uru energy?

HI, HONEY, I’M HOME! After Thor’s job is done, it appears that Blake gives a perfunctory knock on Jane’s apartment door, then bursts right in. Did I miss a soap opera development, or does he already have a key to her place? (Disturbing mom-points to Jane for adding a glass of milk to the ham and cheese sandwich.)

“Banished From Asgard!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Vince Colletta
Letters: Sam Rosen
When Thor is banished from Asgard for fighting a duel against Odin’s wishes, Loki’s cousin “Arkin the Weak” reports the news to Knorda, “normal-sized queen of the mountain giants,” on whom he has a giant-sized crush. The beautiful queen, a Farrah Fawcett blonde clad In pink armor, gathers her army to attack Thor. Thor leads the giants into a tiny cave, trapping them. Odin and Thor enjoy a good laugh about it later, revealing that Thor’s “banishment” was nothing more than a ruse to ferret out the traitor, Arkin the Weak.

And the moral of this story is: never trust a minion whose moniker includes the words “The Weak,” or fall for a woman who looks way too beautiful in her fashionable pink battle armor.

TALES OF SUSPENSE #58

“In Mortal Combat With Captain America!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Don Heck
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
The Chameleon impersonates Captain America, convincing Iron Man that HE is the real Cap, while there is another Cap out there who is actually the Chameleon. Iron Man finds and fights the real Captain America. Pepper and Happy track them to a construction power station, where the two ordinary humans are put in peril of cement dust, steam shovel and sand pit. When Cap saves Happy, Iron Man realizes he’s been fighting the real Avenger. Giant-Man and Wasp show up with the Chameleon, and Iron Man chides himself for being careless.

WHAT’S HOT
HONESTLY NOW. There’s a bit of refreshing honesty on the cover with the question of why Iron Man and Captain America are battling each other. “Mainly to get you to buy this mag!” The blurb goes on to say, “If we can’t always by clever, we can at least be honest.” I beg to differ. It’s incredibly clever to respect the readers’ ability to understand and appreciate how the comics business works.

DISHONESTLY NOW. Super-strength, invisibility, control of the elements—all keen and commanding superpowers, but perhaps none are as dangerous as a villain’s ability to turn perception on its ear. I may have pooh-poohed the Chameleon in the past but now I’m beginning to see how deception can be the greatest superpower of all.

WHAT’S NOT
STYLE FAUX PAS I. When Pepper is drenched, her hair falls flat, much to her dismay, though she’s just moved twenty years into the future by inventing the 1980’s “Gypsy” or “Mullet.”

STYLE FAUX PAS II. On the other hand, there is no possible way to explain or redeem Happy’s carnival jacket.

“The Watcher Must Die!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: George Tuska
Letters: Art Simek
When Warlord Wrogg attacks the Watcher, the toga-ed one uses a small fraction of his power for self-defense, speeding up the aging process for Wrogg and his Marshal, but allowing the blameless soldiers to escape. Why does this story even exist, except as a warm-up for newly re-hired artist George Tuska, who is introduced on the splash with much fanfare?

TALES TO ASTONISH #60

“The Beasts of Berlin!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Dick Ayers
Inks: Paul Reinman
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Pym travels to East Berlin to rescue captured friend Lee Kearns. As Ant-Man, he scales the wall and arrives undetected in Kearn’s prison cell. After German ants attack and cause the guard to flee, Kearn tells Pym of a ray gun the Reds use to make gorillas as intelligent as humans. As both Ant and Giant, Pym finds the ray gun, fights the gorillas, then turns the ray on the Reds, reducing them to gorilla demeanor. Finally, he captures the gorillas, destroys the ray gun and breaks pal Kearns out of prison.

WHAT’S HOT
ACTION PACKED. An awful lot happens in a mere 14 pages, and Pym has the chance to shine as both Ant-Man and Giant-Man. Some superheroes work well as a team; Pym works best when he teams up his two alter-egos.

WHAT’S NOT
TELL ME A STORY. For the first time, Hank tells Jan the sad story of how he lost his Hungarian bride Maria to the Reds. Jan is moved to tears, understanding him better, but the retelling doesn’t add anything we didn’t already know. In fact, I come away more confused than ever, wondering why Maria is pictured first as a redhead, and in the very next panel, as a blonde.

“The Incredible Hulk”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Steve Ditko
Inks: George Bell
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
At an air force missile range in the southwestern US, Dr. Bruce Banner builds a larger than life robot able to withstand an atomic blast, but it is hijacked by a spy before testing. Hulk finds he cannot defeat the indestructible robot, which escapes into the desert. Banner offers to build another robot to destroy the first, but General Ross refuses. Banner agonizes about his monster self, his failure as a scientist, and his love for Betty.

WHAT’S HOT
EAT THIS UP! On the splash, each contributor is labeled “Incredible,” until we get to the letterer, S. Rosen, who is “inedible.” I always enjoy the punchline on these creative descriptions, but for the first time I’m wondering who’s writing this stuff. Does Stan request it this way, or is the letterer having a little self-deprecatory fun?

EXISTENTIAL DILEMMA. Early on in the story, Banner asks himself a frank yet perturbing question: “Am I really Bruce Banner…or is the Hulk my true self?” Whoa! Heavy… (And you thought you were just reading comic books!)

WHAT’S NOT
YOU DON’T SAY…In the last panel, the narrator describes this new series as “the only comic mag superhero soap opera in existence.” Wait…what?? I know we want to give a giant boost to the new title, but there’s no need to do so at the expense of all the other superhero soap operas that have gone before!

AVENGERS #9

“The Coming of the Wonder Man!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Don Heck
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Bailed out by Zemo, embezzler Simon Williams undergoes a procedure that gives him all the powers of the Avengers—but he must obey Zemo to get the antidote that keeps him alive. As Wonder Man, he gains the Avengers’ confidence, then kidnaps Wasp to lure the others to Zemo’s gang. The Avengers are caught off-guard by Wonder Man’s treachery, but when Wonder Man realizes the error of his ways and aids them against Zemo, good triumphs over evil (though the villains escape). Without the antidote, Wonder Man dies…or does he?

WHAT’S HOT
GQ. Simon Williams face is even more chiseled than Tony Stark’s.

FASHION…BACKWARDS. But he thinks “Wonder Man” is a corny name and is not on board with having to wear a costume. Truthfully, I sympathize. But it’s the 1960’s Marvel Universe, so I guess When in Rome…

DOES HE…OR DOESN’T HE? As Wonder Man dies on the last page, the narrator promises “new surprises” in the next issue. I have a hard time believing a character as powerful and conflicted as Wonder Man will come and go in only one issue. He may not be back immediately, but I look forward to his return…eventually.

WHAT’S NOT
OIL & WATER. Cap gets fighting mad as he hallucinates that he sees his old enemy Zemo. This is scary. Are superpowers and hallucinations a good combination?

STEP IT UP! A cultural reference is made to the dancing abilities of Fred Astaire. Now, in 2015, there remain a limited number of Fred Astaire fans in the world, and I’m high on that list. But in the mid 1960’s, was there no one else? How about the marvelous Gene Kelly? Or maybe the people reading comic books are not the same audience watching MGM musicals? Even in 1964, a Fred Astaire reference seems a bit dated. But then, I guess you can’t go wrong with the classics.

TRUE VILLANY. Zemo doesn’t tell Williams until AFTER the procedure that he’s doomed to die unless he gets a weekly antidote. Can you say “Medical Malpractice”?

ZZZZZZZ…When Wonder Man radios that he and Wasp have been captured by Zemo, why does Iron Man wait until the next day before setting out on a rescue mission? Maybe he’s catching up on all that sleep he missed at the end of Tales of Supsense #57?

FANTASTIC FOUR #31

“The Mad Menace of the Macabre Mole Man!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
Mole Man steals entire city blocks, causes earthquakes in NYC, and kidnaps Sue to draw the other three into a fight. After Reed convinces the Avengers to stay out of it for at least 24 hours, Torch burns through things, Mr. Fantastic stretches his superhero capabilities, and Thing gets in some good clobberin’ time. In the end, the heroes win, but as they depart, Sue is injured. Recently escaped from prison, surgeon Franklin Storm appears to save his daughter’s life.

WHAT’S HOT
STORM SR. Before this, it never occurred to me to ask questions about Johnny and Sue’s parentage. I assumed they were rich, successful socialites who happened to be off on an extended European vacation all this time. But apparently Reed thought Johnny and Sue were orphans, and he’s as shocked as the rest of us to meet Storm Sr. I’m shocked to learn that two do-gooders like Torch and the Invisible Girl could have a dad who’s been convicted of something-or-other. Gut feeling: when we learn more, it will turn out Dad had a very good reason for whatever it was he did that landed him in the slammer. If you know, don’t tell me! I want the surprises to keep coming.

WHAT’S NOT
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. Mole Man is at it again, up to all kinds of mischief. As Reed attempts to negotiate a hostage release agreement, he asks “What is it you’re after?” and Mole Man replies, “The same thing I’ve EVER been after…conquest of the surface world!” He’s really a very simple fellow, single-minded…and predictable. The action unfolds exactly as expected, ho hum, haven’t we seen this before? In this story, surely Mole Man’s aspirations are nothing more than a familiar backdrop to the introduction of the unpredicted parent.