THE MARVELOUS AWARDS!!
HERO AWARDS
Now this is more like it! As much as I dreaded last time having to give so much attention to the super-villains, that’s how much I enjoy the prospect of now giving our superheroes the proper respect.
THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR
That comparison is strongly demonstrated in our first Award, for as much as super-villains are unable to work together, that’s how much superheroes lend a hand to their fellow superheroes when the going gets tough.
In the category of That’s What Friends Are For, the nominees are…
- When Scott is overwhelmed, the other X-Men pitch in to help him
- Human Torch helps the X-Men against Juggernaut
- The Avengers comfort Giant-Man when Wasp is injured
And the Award goes to…
The Avengers, for consoling Giant-Man as Wasp lies near death’s door. Of course, all superheroes help each other in battle, or assist their teammates whenever needed, but I don’t believe providing emotional support is overtly included in the job description. The Avengers may have needed to step outside their comfort zone somewhat on this one, but in the end, they go above and beyond—which is what superheroes do!
SUPERHERO FASHION
Lookin’ good! Well, that applies to all our superheroes, but this year, a few fashion choices demand special attention.
In the category of Superhero Fashion, the nominees are…
- Doctor Strange’s dramatic high collar
- Daredevil’s new comfortable and distinctive costume
- Black Widow’s new sexy costume, including boots, cape and mask
And the Award goes to…
Daredevil, for taking the time and making the effort to give his costume a much-needed upgrade. His attention to comfort is easily understood, but I also commend him on striving to create a costume that is more “distinctive.” Now he looks extremely snazzy, rather than like a bumblebee or school bus, which was his unfortunate impression in yellow and black.
TEAMWORK
I’m beginning to feel like I’m beating a dead horse (or should I say, “a dead super-villain”) if I have to talk one more time about how well superheroes play together. The following are all excellent examples of the hallowed tradition of Teamwork in the Marvel Year 1965.
In the category of Teamwork, the nominees are…
- Fantastic Four Annual #3
- Amazing Spider-Man Annual #2
- X-Men vs, the Juggernaut
And the Award goes to…
Fantastic Four Annual #3, not only for the incredible array of superheroes (“the world’s most colossal collection of costumed characters”) but also because of what brings them all together—the epic event of Reed and Sue’s wedding! A day I’m sure none of them will easily forget!
ROCKS, GET OUT OF MY WAY!
Krakk! Blam! Byong! Krrukk! I would hate to be a rock in the Marvel Universe. Seems some superhero or other is always acting like they’ve got a personal grudge against geological formations. But…who demonstrates this time-honored ritual most spectacularly?
In the category of Rocks, Get Our of My Way, the nominees are…
- Hulk
- Thor
- Thing
And the Award goes to…
Thing. Every Marvel representation of rock-busting is always, of course, a sight to behold, but Thing gets extra points for the poetic irony of rock upon rock. Double whammy! Winner!
SUPERFLUOUS USE OF SUPERPOWERS
Work is one thing, play is another. If you’ve got it, you might as well flaunt it. Our superheroes can’t help it if every now and then they think a bit outside the box and use their super skills for less than super objectives. (Hey! If you could take out the trash with a simple mental levitation after a long day of fighting super-villains, why wouldn’t you?)
In the category of Superfluous Use of Superpowers, the nominees are…
- Human Torch
- Iron Man
- Charles Xavier
- Beast
And the Award goes to…
Human Torch. Not only for his showmanship, but also for his well-developed sense of self-awareness. There is nothing to be gained from this “little exhibition for my fans!” other than a stroke to his ego. If Torch was doing this today, he would go viral…and he would love it! (Honorary mention, however, to Iron Man, for his sarcastic gloat as he spins Titanium Man like a super-charged top. Great way to end a fight!)
HERO WRONGLY ACCUSED
Oh, the poor misunderstood superhero! How often have we seen these most impeccably honest and righteous fellows (and gals) set up and wrongly accused by their opponents…or sometimes simply by the hand of fate? In 1965, this trend continues (as I suspect it always will, for those whose only objective is to do the most good they possibly can).
In the category of Hero Wrongly Accused, the nominees are…
- Count Nefaria Uses 3-D Images of Avengers to Declare War on the U.S.
- Imposter Commits Crimes as Iron Man
- Daredevil Tricked by the Organizer, Suspected of Robbery
And the Award goes to…
This year, as we hear more and more about the troubling aspects of “deep fakes,” I bestow this Award on the Avengers. All these nominees clearly have the power of the press against them, as well as the insufferable sentiment of “Who ya gonna believe: me, or your lyin’ eyes?” But, with the deep fake of 3-D images of the Avengers committing the most despicable of all acts, declaring war on the United States, the peril to their reputations is unparalleled.
LONELINESS AND ANGST OF THE SUPERHERO
Being wrongly accused is surely emotionally troubling, even for an otherwise stalworth superhero. But this is not where their troubles end. And while every superhero remains susceptible to all the emotional turmoil of any ordinary human being, it may in fact be their superhero-ness that magnifies their emotional distress.
In the category of Loneliness and Angst of the Superhero, the nominees are…
- Hulk Filled with Grief Over Killed Friend
- Pepper Hates Tony Stark, but Worships Iron Man
- Captain America, Despondent over no Private Life
And the Award goes to…
Captain America, as he sits in the elegantly decorated Avengers Mansion, alone, and pondering the depths of his loneliness. You just have to feel for the guy. Out of time, out place, and out of options. A weaker personality probably would not have lasted this long. I look forward to seeing a brighter future for poor Cap.
BEST DEPICTION OF A DOUBLE LIFE
Oh, will we never be done with the dark side of being a superhero! One more thing to consider: in most cases, the superhero feels compelled to keep his identity a secret, thus thrusting himself into a double life. Which of these depictions best represents this unique dilemma?
In the category of Best Depiction of a Double Life, the nominees are…
- Spider-Man Phones Aunt May
- Daredevil’s Shadow Behind Matt Murdock
- Thor Looms Overs Donald Blake’s Decisions
And the Award goes to…
While we are treated to some excellent art in both the Daredevil and Thor nominations, the Award goes to Peter Parker/Spider-Man for this utterly mundane moment. With his Spider-Man mask pulled up only enough to not muffle his voice, Parker quickly checks in by phone with his beloved Aunt May. Here Peter is clearly stuck in a moment between his two worlds, before he must quickly pull the mask back down over his face and go out again to fight crime!
HEROIC BANTER
Now here’s something that’s much more fun about being a superhero—the opportunity to playfully quip and banter with your opponents! Only the most confident and cavalier of superheroes can do this to full effect. Who are our contenders for 1965?
In the category of Heroic Banter, the nominees are…
- Daredevil
- Spider-Man
- Thing
And the Award goes to…
Though Spider-Man will surely someday win the Lifetime Achievement Award for this skill, at this moment Thing most strongly disrespects Doctor Doom with his “mega-whatsis,” New Yawk “ya” instead of “you,” and demeaning reference to a tin skillet. Rock man vs. metal man—I guess Thing is feeling pretty confident!
MOST HULKISH MOMENT
I’ve been hanging out with Hulk long enough now that I’m familiar with his modus operandi. With the same level of glee as I wait for the next joke in a predictable sitcom, I am always on the lookout for Hulk acting most like Hulk.
In the category of Most Hulkish Moment, the nominees are…
- Hulk lifts pavement
- Hulk crosses ocean
- Hulk throws tank
- Hulk throws tantrum
And the Award goes to…
Hulk Throws Tantrum, because while all the others focus on amazing feats that Hulk can DO, throwing a tantrum speaks more plainly to who Hulk IS. Hulk is, basically, the physical manifestation of a tantrum. It doesn’t get any more elementary than that, Watson.
MOMENT OF VICTORY
Why do we read these comics at all, if not to see our superheroes ultimately prevail in a rousing moment of victory? A lot of breaking of chains and bars in this one, but whose moment of victory will beat them all?
In the category of Moment of Victory, the nominees are…
- Spider-Man breaks chains
- Sub-Mariner breaks chains
- Sub-Mariner breaks bars
- Tony Stark can live again
And the Award goes to…
Chains and bars, get out of my way! The most momentous moment of victory belongs to Tony Stark, when he passes the test and realizes “Tony Stark can live again!” Victory, emotion, relief, and a promise of so much more to come!
SUPERHERO DRUDGERY
For all their great attributes, superheroes put their pants on one leg at a time. Marvel does not shy away from the mundane—which makes these super characters super-relatable.
In the category of Superhero Drudgery, the nominees are…
- Spider-Man sewing
- Hulk eating doughnuts
- Daredevil applying his own first aid
And the Award goes to…
Hulk eating donuts. Parker and Murdock’s situations may have more of the feeling of “drudgery” to them, but the image of Hulk seated at a table with coffee and doughnuts just made me laugh out loud. Before this, I never stopped to imagine Hulk engaged in any normal activities, and the image is as jarring as it is comical.
WHEN HEROES CLASH
I’ve gone to great lengths now to point out several times how superheroes play well together. But…wait! That’s not always true, is it? Of course, we are usually treated to convoluted extenuating circumstances in order to get to the spectacle of Hero vs. Hero, but when that happens, oh, what a spectacle it is!
In the category of When Heroes Clash, the nominees are…
- Thor and Hulk
- Thor and Hercules
- X-Men and Avengers
And the Award goes to…
X-Men and the Avengers. Did I mention “spectacle”? So much going on here, as power is pitted against power. As they say, “Go big, or go home.” And in 1965, Marvel ain’t goin’ home!
AMAZING ASGARDIAN ARTIFACTS
In the mythical world of Asgard, sometimes a stone is not merely a stone; sometimes a sword or scepter has magical powers with earthshattering implications. In Asgard, everything is bigger than it first seems, and more important than initially imagined.
In the category of Amazing Asgardian Artifacts, the nominees are…
- The Oversword
- The Norn Stones
- Odin’s Scepter of Supremacy
And the Award goes to…
The Oversword, not only for its size, but also for its power to summon the wrath of Ragnorak. Having seen Thor: Ragnorak I now have an intense respect for anything connected to this epic event.
And now our visit with the Superheroes of 1965 is sadly over, but at the same time, we can look ahead to our next installment of the Marvelous Awards, when we shall broaden our scope to consider all the marvels of the Silver Age! See you next week!
