THE MARVELOUS AWARDS!!
VILLAIN AWARDS
This is always my least favorite part of the Marvelous Awards, as I prefer to keep my thoughts on all things positive, lovely and enlightening. And there is nothing positive or lovely about Marvel villains…though sometimes their characteristics and behavior can be very enlightening, as we consider all the evil that is in the world. As they say, Art Imitates Life, so as unpleasant as this task may be, it behooves us to now give our attention to the villains of Marvel, in hopes that by understanding them, we may also be brought to a better understanding of all that is both wrong, and right, in the world.
And so…let us begin!
VILLAIN TEAM-UP
Villain team-ups are always so much fun, because you can inevitably count on the members turning on each other. There is additional fun inherent in these three nominees, but I’ll get to that in just a moment.
In the category of Villain Team-Up, the nominees are…
- The Frightful Four
- Mister Fear and his “partners”
- Masters of Evil
And the Award goes to…
Each of these have amusing reasons to be the winner of this Award, but ultimately the Award this year is going to the Frightful Four. The Masters of Evil have appeared before, so they’re almost like old friends, a cozy warm blanket; we already know they are incapable of beating the Avengers. And I was particularly impressed by the way Mr. Fear chose Ox and Eel based on their inferior qualities; are we really likely to see anything good from this selection process? But the Frightful Four is quite a colorful cast of characters! Sandman is still Sandman, but Paste-Pot Pete has reinvented himself as the Trapster; but no matter what he calls himself, he can never really throw off the stench of all that PASTE. Medusa has all that lovely hair, and Wizard is your classic egomaniac leader-wannabe. I can’t wait to see what kind of personal interactions we’re likely to see from this motley crew!
UNEASY ALLIANCE
As mentioned in the last Award, villains don’t really know how to play nice with each other, and this year’s nominees do a stellar job of illustrating the foibles of a Villain Alliance.
In the category of Uneasy Alliance, the nominees are…
- Loki and Absorbing Man
- Mole Man and Red Ghost
- Mandarin and Swordsman
And the Award goes to…
Mandarin & the Swordsman, for hitting so many bullet points in this textbook example. A close runner-up is found in Loki & Absorbing Man, who perfectly illustrate the constant struggle for power in any villain alliance by literally struggling to maintain an object of immense power. Mole Man & Red Ghost are pretty much there simply for comic relief as they personify the inevitable.
ROBOTS
A staple of science fiction since the Industrial Age, Marvel has always taken full advantage of the robot’s creepy potential. They are both like us…and yet, nothing like us, a hollow, shadowy representation of the human condition. As I said…creepy.
In the category of Robots, the nominees are…
- Sentinels
- Sleeper
- J. Jonah…Jameson?
And the Award goes to…
The Sentinels, because there are so many of them. Sort of like an infestation of cockroaches. Though I must admit, both the Sleeper and the Jameson robot have that “creep” factor going on. Nazi threat or Jameson’s crazed leering face? Which one is more likely to keep you up at night? (For me, it’s the cockroaches.)
GIANTS AMONG US
There’s a reason why LITTLE Red Riding Hood has to deal with the BIG Bad Wolf—because BIG is often monstrously scary! When Marvel makes a villain literally larger than life, it’s not by accident.
In the category of Giants Among Us, the nominees are…
- Leader’s Android
- Master Mold
- Mole Man’s Minotaur
- The Stranger
And the Award goes to…
All these nominees have not only their size, but something else going for them as well. Mole Man’s Minotaur is…well, an ugly scary violent minotaur, and the Leader’s Android, with his huge pink feet crushing the military, evokes the Imperial Walkers of The Empire Strikes Back (which, as I’m writing this Award, I am also viewing, with much delight, on Disney+). But the Award goes to Master Mold, because while all Sentinels are giants, as the leader of the Sentinels, he is in fact a giant among giants! And of course, as a super-logical robot, there’s no reasoning with him. Large and in charge, Master Mold beats his competition hands down. (And you can only hope he does not put that huge hand down on you, or you could be…toast!)
UGLIEST VILLAIN
Look the part. Presentation is key.
In the category of Ugliest Villain, the nominees are…
- Comrade Bulski
- Red Skull
- Seaweed Man
- Demon Witch Doctor
And the Award goes to…
The Red Skull. Because he looks like a human being…that’s been turned inside out. (And also because I can’t help but remember Hugo Weaving’s performance in the MCU!)
INTERFERING ALIENS
The pickings were slim when I went in search of aliens in 1965 Marvel comics. Oh, for the days of the Skrulls, the Toad Men and the Stone Men of Saturn! I’m so desperate, I would even settle for the Infant Terrible.
In the category of Interfering Aliens, the nominees are…
- The Stranger captures Magneto to study mutations
- The Froma deduce all earthlings must be like Iron Man
- The Kallusians abduct the only doctor who can save Wasp
And the Award goes to…
The Stranger. As mentioned, alien appearances have really waned this year. We know very little about the Kallusians, and the Froma’s greatest superpower seems to be jumping to conclusions. But the Stranger wisely describes himself as someone whose power “is greater by far than you can even imagine!” This dramatic sense of mystery bubbles him to the top of this very short list.
RIDICULOUS VILLAINS
Let’s be honest. Comic book villains (and heroes too, for that matter) are basically ridiculous. If they weren’t, if their experiences were tame and sane, why would we bother looking at them? A certain amount of “ridiculousness” is inherent in the genre, but on occasion, some characters take their ridiculousness to the next level. That is what we celebrate in this next Award.
In the category of Ridiculous Villains, the nominees are…
- The Ani-Men
- Stilt-Man
- The Clown and his Masters of Menace
And the Award goes to…
The Ani-Men. I was ready to grant this Award to the Clown and the Masters of Menace…until I took a good look at the Ani-Men. I quickly realized that though the Clown and the Masters of Menace exactly personify the circus atmosphere that is in so many ways the definition of “ridiculous,” the institution of the Circus is in fact a well-respected tradition. Not only that, the schtick for each one of them is also part of their employment. The Ani-Men, however, are way out in left field. While so many villains (and superheroes) personify particular animals or insects, the sight of these four middle-aged men costuming themselves with dreams of approximating the attributes of certain members of the animal kingdom, frankly, seems a little sad and silly. And Wally Wood’s rendition of their sad-sack expressions only adds to the pathos. And their ridiculousness.
FEMME FATALE
In literature (and comics!), a femme fatale is an alluring woman who uses her charms to drag a man into a bad situation. The nominees below have all done their damage, but only one can win the Award for Femme Fatale.
In the category of Femme Fatale, the nominees are…
- Countess de la Spirosa
- Princess Python
- Debbie Harris
And the Award goes to…
Princess Python. Both Debbie Harris and the Countess enact their schemes due to their romantic entanglements—Debbie has been complicit in the plans of the Organizer because she believed herself in love with him, while Countess Spinoza is exacting revenge on Tony Stark, by whom she feels slighted. But Princess Python, as a member of the Masters of Menace very deliberately uses her feminine wiles in hopes of unmasking Spider-Man, reasoning he would then be beholden to her (and, by extension, beholden to the Masters of Menace). Watch out, Spider-Man! Don’t let yourself be taken in by the charms of this slithery snake-woman!
GLOATING VILLAIN
Who doesn’t love a good gloat? And no one does it better, than a Marvel super-villain!
In the category of Gloating Villain, the nominees are…
- Scorpion
- Baron Mordo
- Mandarin
- Titanium Man
And the Award goes to…
While all of these are great gloats, I’m going to have to give this one to Mordo for his extreme and poetic imagery. A lot of meat on the bones of all these gloats, but with Mordo’s “crush him like a flea” simile, he adds a splash of tabasco!
KARMA IS A BITCH
Super-villains always have big ideas and big plans. Their downfall often occurs because their big egos cannot allow for the possibility of slip-ups or defeats. Careful what you wish for, oh, super-villain!
In the category of Karma Is a Bitch, the nominees are…
- Molecular Ray is reversed, shrinking Stilt-Man
- Absorbing Man turns to helium and floats away
- Bolivar Trask is captured by the Sentinels he created
- The Leader dons the Watcher’s Ultimate Machine and immediately zonks out
And the Award goes to…
Boliver Trask in X-Men, for creating the Sentinels that ultimately turn against him with an exclamation of logic: “We can only guard the human race by becoming its master.” How many times have we seen this in sci-fi shows and movies? It’s amazing that nearly sixty years ago, Stan Lee was ringing the warning bell on AI. The question now is: will we heed this cautionary tale?
So! Now we’ve seen what the villains of 1965 have to offer. But what are they up against? Do the heroes of 1965 have what it takes to meet these wicked women and felonious fellows head-on? (You understand, I’m sure, that’s a rhetorical question…) Of course, they do! And we’ll find out so much more about our superheroes when next we meet, for the continuing adventures of the Marvelous Awards!
