THE MARVELOUS AWARDS!!
WRITER AWARDS
I mentioned last time that I have begun to keep a sketchbook, dabbling in art. But for as long as I can remember, I have always considered myself more a writer than an artist. Therefore, I have the greatest amount of admiration for those who fashion a fetching story. The writers of Marvel have not yet disappointed me. And with that, I dedicate this next round of Marvelous Awards to those who yield the pen that is mightier than the Swordsman’s sword, Hawkeye’s arrow, Hulk’s “Smash!” or even Thor’s Hammer!
And so…let us begin!
TIME TRAVEL ISSUES
Ah! So we begin here, deep in the quandaries of time travel. I am always fascinated with this literary trope, yet also, mainly, mystified and frustrated. (Disney’s Loki series, anyone?) It seems the prevalence of time-travel has slowed down in 1965 Marvel Comics, but here are a few contenders to consider.
In the category of Time Travel Issues, the nominees are…
- Strange Tales #134 (Human Torch & Thing): Kang and King Arthur
- Journey Into Mystery #122: Thor takes Hobbs on a time tour
- Avengers #23: Cap uses the recreater to discover who abducted the Avengers to the future (with no explanation to how Cap travels through time himself!)
And the Award goes to…
Journey Into Mystery #122, for the torturous idea of bringing a newspaper reporter on the most fantastic scoop of his lifetime, but not allowing him to remember any of it. (What sadist dreamed that one up?)
EPIC BATTLE SCENE
The Epic Battle Scene was covered last time from an artistic standpoint, but the concept behind each of the following battle scenes deserves mention.
In the category of Epic Battle Scene, the nominees are…
- Iron Man vs. Titanium Man
- Thor vs. Hercules
- Captain America vs. prison “guards”
And the Award goes to…
Captain America vs. prison “guards.” All three nominated battles involve worthy opponents, but this spectacle seems to foreshadow the fabulous elevator scene in Captain America: Winter Soldier, where Cap singlehandedly takes out a large group of “guards” in a matter of seconds. Iron Man and Thor each fight against a well-armored and historic champion, but Cap is simply one good guy against a bunch of bad guys, and he gets the job done. Going up, anyone?
SOAP OPERA
Oh, John and Marcia! Cue the organ! Here we go again!
In the category of Soap Opera, the nominees are…
- A Distraught Janet decides to leave Hank
- Foggy hates himself, after bad-mouthing Matt to Karen
- Tony gives up Pepper by pretending to be engaged
And the Award goes to…
Oh…oh…! These are all such bubbly examples, I don’t know how I shall ever decide! Okay…I guess I’ll have to give the edge to poor Janet Van Dyne, who is ready to not only dissolve both her personal and professional relationship with Hank, but also leave town in order to think things through. Could this really be the end of Hank and Jan? You know what I’m going to say: tune in tomorrow, folks…
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
How boring life would be if people never changed! There’s always room for improvement. A good writer knows this, and Marvel throws us a few curveballs in 1965.
In the category of Character Development, the nominees are…
- Body of Hulk, Brain of Banner
- Kurt Marko saves both his son Cain and his stepson, Charles Xavier
- The Rehabilitation of Hawkeye
And the Award goes to…
Body of Hulk, Brain of Banner. Kurt Marko proves himself “not so bad after all,” but alas, shortly after this monumental decision, he dies. Hawkeye’s about-face is instrumental in determining his future, but Hulk’s makeover cuts to the very core of his personality. And again, I’ll raise the specter of the MCU, by noting that this recent development brings to mind Professor Hulk, who is so…hulky, and also so charming. Not sure how long I’ll have to wait in the comics to run into the Professor, but in the meantime, this new and improved version of Hulk has suddenly become a lot more three-dimensional.
STILTED LANGUAGE
Here is one of those “booby prizes” I foreshadowed last time. While most of the time Marvel dialog is—if not always “spot on”—at least acceptable. But these examples stick out like the proverbial sore thumb.
In the category of Stilted Language, the nominees are…
- That Tweezers
- It’s Matt Whom She Loves
- It Was She Who Took It
And the Award goes to…
That Tweezers. Though awkward, “whom” is actually correct, and “It was SHE who took it!” could easily be edited to simply read “She took it!” But there is never a time when it is appropriate to say “That tweezers.” Right?
SLAYING LANGUAGE
I have previously alluded to a certain college professor who was apt to say, “Some of the language in here just slays me.” It was meant as a compliment. So, in direct opposition to the previous booby prize for Stilted Language, I now present for your consideration some superb “slaying language.”
In the category of Slaying Language, the nominees are…
- Hank Pym: “Young Lady, You’re Impossible, and I Love It!”
- Power Man: “I’d hate myself if you wanted me to!”
- Beast: “We’ve heard the clarion call to battle! Let us sally forth and slay some dragons!”
And the Award goes to…
Beast, because “slaying language” is not simply what he does in this one panel, it’s what he does on a constant basis. It’s in his DNA! And I could listen to him all the livelong day!
BEST HOMER SIMPSON D’OH! MOMENT
Who doesn’t love hapless Homer Simpson? Especially when he messes up and utters the inevitable “D’Oh!” As in cartoons, and life itself, Marvel characters also occasionally make a mistake or two that demands a hearty “D’Oh!”
In the category of Best Homer Simpson D’OH! Moment, the nominees are…
- Bucky discovers Captain America’s secret identity
- Cyclops drops his sunglasses and wreaks havoc
- Power-Man accidentally confesses framing the Avengers
And the Award goes to…
Well, I want to give this one to Power-Man, for inadvertently revealing the whole of the evil plan (“D’Oh!”) but in the end this Award must go to Steve Rogers, for so carelessly donning his Captain America suit when and where anyone might walk in. Of course, this “D’Oh!” moment ultimately works out well, as little Bucky gladly insists upon becoming his sidekick. But the way we got here would have done Homer Simpson proud!
BEST ORIGIN STORY
Begin at the beginning. While this is almost always good advice, Marvel writers rarely comply. But no matter where a story begins, going back to the beginning invariably adds depth, color and a furtherance of comprehension. This year we are treated to several origin stories, some which we have been waiting on for quite some time. Which was the most compelling?
In the category of Best Origin Story, the nominees are…
- Mandarin
- Hawkeye
- Professor X
- Beast
- Thor & Loki’s Sibling Rivalry
And the Award goes to…
While not technically an “origin story,” I’m giving the Award to Tales of Asgard for its picturesque telling of the childhood of Thor and Loki. Loki’s jealousy of golden boy Thor runs so deep, it is surely not the consequence of a single event. This particular look into Thor and Loki’s childhood days in Asgard provides many clues as to what sort of men/gods they will grow up to be.
BEST BEDSIDE MANNER
When correctly handled, the doctor/patient relationship can verge on the sacred. Some doctors do this better than others. While the following nominees each present a unique situation, only one can win the Award!
In the category of Best Bedside Manner, the nominees are…
- Don Blake comforts Jane Foster
- Leader comforts Hulk
- Jean Grey comforts her fellow X-Men
And the Award goes to…
Dr. Blake comforting dear Jane. We’ve seen them together as doctor and nurse, and also as two crazy kids out on a dinner date, but this image of tenderness between the doctor and his beloved patient absolutely vibrates with all the soap opera of General Hospital.
BIGGEST CAREER CHANGE
Earlier we discussed character development, but sometimes character is developed by a sudden change in situation. Where have our heroes been, and where are they going? Inquiring minds want to know how these career choices will influence their stories and their futures.
In the category of Biggest Career Change, the nominees are…
- Hawkeye, Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch join the circus
- Captain America signs up as a sparring partner
- Giant-Man (and his title) retires
And the Award goes to…
With bittersweet regret, this Award goes to Giant-Man (and his title) as they both now appear headed for retirement. I myself have recently retired, so perhaps I relate too much, but my line of work was never anywhere near as interesting as that of Pym and Van Dyne, and their sudden disappearance from the landscape of Marvel superheroes leaves a giant gap. Yet, having said this, let me add that it is not a gap too wide to be filled, as Marvel constantly comes up with new personnel. Still, no matter who else might come along, and what their powers and personalities might be, Giant-Man and Wasp will be missed. At least by this reader. I can only hope that this is not truly the last I will see of them. But I guess I’ll have to keep reading to find out!
MOST ROMANTIC MOMENT
Well, to be completely honest…I’m not really here for the heroic acts, epic battle scenes, best decked-out villains’ lairs or even the fabulous 60’s fashions. I’ve never had any qualms about freely admitting that I’m here for the soap opera…and soap opera naturally means romance! So let’s get on with it!
In the category of Most Romantic Moment, the nominees are…
- Reed and Sue’s Wedding
- Giant-Man Kisses Wasp
- Black Widow Matches Hawkeye’s Mask
And the Award goes to…
Reed and Sue’s wedding, of course! As the poet once said, “If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it!” and Reed has done just that, finally making the Big Commitment. Such a major story development—and the artist helps out with all those magical black on pink background rays of love! Such a moment as shall live in Marvel history forever!
GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
Returning one final time to our theme of Changes, as happens every year, we have lost a few characters along the way. Whom shall we miss the most?
In the category of Gone But Not Forgotten, the nominees are…
- Crime Master
- Baron Zemo
- the Leader
- Black Widow?
And the Award goes to…
Well, I would miss Black Widow the most, but somehow I can’t bring myself to believe she’s really dead. So instead I’m going with Baron Zemo, because in his heyday, he was such a royal pain in Cap’s patriotic rear. Though, to tell the truth, I also can’t quite believe he’s actually gone either. The problem with these “Gone But Not Forgotten” folks in Marvel is that unless there’s a body, you can never really be sure. And at times even when there is a body, somehow they still manage to return! I guess that’s why I’ll have to keep reading into 1966!
Well, that does it for today’s installment of Awards, and there is only one more to go, but it’s the Grand Poobah, the Cream of the Crop, the Show of Shows, when next we consider the Best of the Best of 1965! See you next week, for the Grand Finale of these Marvelous Awards!
