THE MARVELOUS AWARDS: SUPPORTING CAST AWARDS

THE MARVELOUS AWARDS!!

With last time’s Meanwhile post, we close the books on 1963. A couple of months ago, while Russ and I were eating out, we were tossing around ideas for The Marvelous Zone, and when Russ threw out the idea of an “awards show,” celebrating all the momentous events we’ve encountered thus far, I jumped on it.

I mean, we see it all around us. There’s the Academy Awards, the Emmys, the Grammys, the Cleo’s, the People’s Choice, the Teen Spirit, and on and on. Heck, there’s even an awards show for animal performers!

So why not an awards show for fictional characters? And why not for Marvel’s fictional characters, the most majestic, dynamic and colorful characters in all of creation?! (See? Stan Lee’s not the only master of hyperbole!)

So I put pen to paper (or pen to napkin, as the case was), and began writing down the awards I wanted to hand out. Then we went home, and I wrote some more. I went back and looked over the comics I had read, and wrote even more! And then I slept on it, and then I wrote even more. And before long, I realized I had way too many awards to fit into one blog entry.

So, for the next several days, I’ll be posting here every day, with a fresh new batch of award winners each day.

The newly-formulated plan is to do this after the December books every year, but since we’re already two years into the ever-expanding Marvel Universe, this first edition of the Marvelous Awards will cover the years of 1962 and 1963 (with juuuusssst a slice of 1961 thrown in, for good measure).

Before we begin, a note about spoilers: I’ve asked Dr. Strange to cast a spell over the revelation of the winners to each award, but depending on the browser you’re using, your mileage may vary. In Firefox, the text is blurred. Just place your cursor over the blurred text, and the mystic fog will be lifted. In some versions of Internet Explorer, the text is invisible, and again, move your cursor over the hidden text, and all will be revealed. Other versions of IE ignore all this and display the answers outright (I suspect Baron Mordo has cast a counter-spell). It’s no big deal, but it’s just more fun, if you have the right browser!

So, anyway, let’s roll out the red carpet! The Night of Nights is about to begin!

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SUPPORTING CAST AWARDS

Welcome to the Marvelous Awards! There are many awards to give out, but let’s start with the Supporting Cast members. As has been noted numerous times, “There are no small parts, only small actors.” Likewise, in the world of Marvel Comics, there are no characters who are incidental. All contribute to the elaborate tapestry, in their own way, and to varying degrees. Let’s begin by honoring some of the thinner, but often extremely colorful threads of the Marvel tapestry.

MOST ANNOYING OR DISAGREEABLE SUPPORTING CAST MEMBER

Television history is filled with annoying and disagreeable supporting cast members, many of whom are more interesting than the main players. Let’s see how the world of Marvel Comics compares.

In the category of Most Annoying Or Disagreeable Supporting Cast Member, the nominees are:

• J. Jonah Jameson
• General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross
• Flash Thompson

And the Award goes to…

J. Jonah Jameson! Flash Thompson has potential, but at this point, he’s merely a teenager trying to overcome an inferiority complex by bullying those he perceives as weaker. I suspect General Ross truly does have public safety as his main concern, but Jameson’s witch-hunt of Spider-Man strikes me as overblown and irrational.

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MOST USEFUL SIDEKICK

Sidekicks have long been a staple of speculative fiction. Where would Sherlock Holmes be without Watson? Batman, without Robin? The Lone Ranger, without Tonto? A good sidekick brings out the best, and in some cases the worst, in their headliner partner.

In the category of Most Useful Sidekick, the nominees are:

• Rick Jones
• The Teen Brigade
• The Red Ghost’s three apes

And the Award goes to…

Rick Jones! Where would Bruce Banner be without him? I’m certain the world of superheroes could survive very well without the Teen Brigade; it’s a cute idea, but honestly, they are mostly superfluous. And the Red Ghost’s primates, while entertaining, were easily diverted by the promise of food. Not very useful to their master! But Banner needs someone to take the wheel when he’s all hulked up and irrational, and Jones performs admirably, especially for a teenager.

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MOST DOMINEERING AUTHORITY FIGURE

Dominant Will. Alpha Male. Leader of the Pack. We all know them. Sometimes all that testosterone can lead our authority figures astray, and they cross the line, going from Garnering Respect to Belligerence and Bullying.

In the category of Most Domineering Authority Figure, the nominees are:

• General Ross
• J. Jonah Jameson
• Odin, Ruler of Asgard

And the Award goes to…

Odin. He’s a GOD. In comparison, Ross and Jameson only imagine they have authority.

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BEST GUEST APPEARANCE

All the Marvel superhero stories take place in a shared universe, which means that at any time, you can see Spider-Man swinging past a building in the background, or ailing Aunt May paying a consultation visit to Dr. Donald Blake. A good guest appearance generates interest in a title that you might not already be reading.

In the category of Best Guest Appearance, the nominees are:

• Ant Man assists the Fantastic Four in Fantastic Four #16: “The Micro-World of Doctor Doom!”
• Nick Fury joins forces with the Fantastic Four in fighting the Hate-Monger in Fantastic Four #21.
• Spider-Man auditions for the Fantastic Four in Fantastic Four Annual #1.

And the Award goes to…

Spider-Man. At this point, both the FF and Spidey are BIG names in Marvel Comics. The mere thought of them combining forces must have sent shivers down the spines of the comic readers of the day. This guest appearance is so awesome, it’s also presented in Amazing Spider-Man #1!

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FANS AND GROUPIES EXTRAORDINAIRE

Superheroes do not exist in a vacuum. Whether or not they have secret identities, there are always people who appreciate their efforts, and some who even think they’re cute! Sometimes, though, just like in the real world, fans can go overboard.

In the category of Fans and Groupies Extraordinaire, the nominees are:

• In X-Men #2, a group of girls hold down Angel for kisses and autographs.
• In Fantastic Four #10, a mob sees the FF on the street and wants everything from autographs and smiles to a piece of their uniforms. Our heroes must use evasive tactics to escape their adoring public.
• In Journey Into Mystery #99, bystanders see Thor fly though the air and remark, “This is a sight I’ll remember as long as I live!!” and “It’s something we’ll tell our children—and they’ll repeat to their children!”

And the Award goes to…

The mob in Fantastic Four #10. There’s something about wanting to tear off their clothes that reminds me of the Star Trek (TOS) Red Hour Festival from Return of the Archons. Creepy…

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GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Just as in real life, characters and concepts come and go in the Marvel Universe. Occasionally, though, these characters and concepts remain with our heroes, in their hearts and minds, shaping the world around them, and their perception of it.

In the category of Gone, But Not Forgotten, the nominees are:

• Korr – Ant-Man’s trusted ant friend
• Ben Parker, Peter Parker’s beloved uncle
• Ben Grimm in his human form

And the Award goes to…

Uncle Ben. Surely Peter has not forgotten him, and the memory of how he died continues to motivate Spider-Man on a daily basis. I felt sad for the death of Korr, as one would upon hearing of a sick puppy, but surely Ant-Man will find other ants to assist him in his fight against evil. (Sorry if this sounds callous, but as much as I love the Ant-Man title and pets in general, I have a hard time assigning an individual personality to an insect.) As for Ben Grimm, how can we forget his human form, when it makes random cameo appearances in every other issue?

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OUR FAVORITE BENEVOLENT ALIEN(S)

Yes, it seems that whenever we run into someone from outer space, almost always their intentions are sinister. However, there are a few examples of benevolent aliens among us…

In the category of Our Favorite Benevolent Alien(s), the nominees are:

• The Ovids, who taught Doctor Doom the power of body transferral
• The Watcher
• The peaceful inhabitants of the Micro World

And the Award goes to…

The Watcher. He’s so cryptic, and his “Prime Directive” philosophy is no more lucid than Starfleet’s. His relatively humanoid appearance, with huge head and little tiny feet, makes him the oddest alien this side of Mork from Ork. Is he really trying to help the FF, or did he merely get lost on his way to a 1980’s toga party?

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MOST GULLIBLE FEMALE

Marvel comics are loaded with colorful females, from the flirtatious Wasp, to the prim & proper Alicia Masters; from Betty Ross, the pacifist daughter of a warhawk general, to the passionate Dorma, eager to push Namor into a war with the surface-dwellers. But let’s face it: All these women are written by men, and sometimes, they just can’t help portraying the ladies with a tad too much naivete.

In the category of Most Gullible Female, the nominees are:

• Aunt May, for thinking J. Jonah Jameson is a “nice man,” and never questioning where the money comes from when Peter buys her new kitchen appliances
• Jane Foster for…well, everything
• Betty Ross, for never figuring out that Banner and Hulk are one and the same

And the Award goes to…

Aunt May. She’s experiencing the classic parental “My kid Can Do No Wrong” Syndrome, and also, as a good-hearted elderly person, always wants to believe the best about everyone. However, in the Marvel Universe, believing the best about everyone is not always wise!

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BEST CAMEO APPEARANCE

Cameos, by their very nature, are minor appearances. But in the Marvel Universe, they’re often much more than that. Sometimes, if you squint your eyes, you can almost believe that Marvel superheroes are real and true, in our world! No Metropolis or Gotham City here. These stories take place in New York City. THE New York City. Is that our Chrysler Building that Thor soars past? Aunt May watching jugglers on the Ed Sullivan Show? I think I saw that episode! Cameos by real people give us the sense that these stories aren’t just stories. They’re real events!

In the category of Best Cameo Appearance, the nominees are:

• Stan Lee & Jack Kirby, in Fantastic Four #10
• JFK & Caroline, in Journey Into Mystery #96
• Nikita Krushchev, in Fantastic Four Annual #1

And the Award goes to…

Stan and Jack in FF#10! What cheekiness, to include themselves in their own comic! But it’s that exact quality of cheekiness that helped make their comics such a successful and iconic part of the 1960’s pop culture!

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Coming Attractions…

Well, that was fun! I hope you enjoyed this first installment of the Marvelous Awards. I realize there are probably many high points I haven’t hit, and you may not agree with my choices. If you feel I’ve made any glaring omissions, or if you have a different opinion, please share! The Marvel Universe is too big for only one person to evaluate. I would love to hear what you all think.

Join me tomorrow when I give the Marvel super-villains a chance to vie against each other for that which every super-villain most desires: Notoriety! However, some of my awards may not place this special class of Marvel characters in the most favorable light. After tomorrow’s awards, perhaps I ought to exercise extreme caution, lock all my doors, hire a bodyguard and hide out on the dark side of the moon, until these bruised super-villainous super-egos heal.

Well, if need be, I may hide out for a little while, but I want to be sure to get back in time to bring you all the rest of this, my first annual MARVELOUS AWARDS!!