The Marvelous Awards!!
The Silver Age Awards
Or…
“You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!”
So much of the charm of these early comics comes from the specific time period: the mod and rollicking 1960’s! For those of us who lived through the 60’s and can still remember it, perhaps we look back with a wistful sense of nostalgia. But for younger readers, Marvel’s Silver Age may be their initial introduction to the decade of hippies, social unrest and extremely peculiar and vibrant fashions. If that’s the case, I pity those poor younger readers! Because though Marvel’s Silver Age in some ways reflects the rapidly changing American culture, in far too many ways, the 60’s were really nothing like what we see in Marvel comics. Separating fact from fiction is a tricky business. But perhaps in these next Awards, we can make some sense of this time long gone by.
MOST 60’s PORTRAYAL OF FEMALES
Nothing seems quite so sweet and silly as the way women are portrayed in the Silver Age comics. When it’s done for comedy, sweet and silly is fine. But I heave a sigh of despair when sweet and silly turns to just plain backwards and boorish. How do the following female nominees exemplify the times into which they were born? And who is making the best use of her feminine wiles? Let’s see…
In the category of Most 60’s Portrayal of Females, the nominees are…
- Janet Van Dyne, for perpetuating the trope of the girl who expectantly waits for the telephone to ring…
- Great cook, Betty Brant
- Johnny Storm’s girlfriend Doris, for succumbing to her boyfriend’s temper
- Karen Page, for distrusting her feminine instincts about the mysterious Matt Murdock
- Black Widow, for bamboozling Hawkeye with her beauty and charm
- Wasp, for using the cliché of females changing their mind to hamper her opponent
- Wasp again, for applying lipstick the moment the Avengers meeting is over
And the Award goes to…
Well, this was a tough one, but in the end, the Award goes to Doris, and let me tell you why. Although many women today maintain the same attitudes as these nominees, or go mousey in the face of testosterone, I hope that, of all the female behaviors here, Dorrie’s is the least likely to have survived into modern times. There’s something about her willingness to acquiesce to Johnny’s temper that feels so dated, so backwards, so NOT a part of the “Me Too” movement. Fifty years later, women know (or at least they SHOULD know) that they don’t have to put up with all that “macho bullshit.” I’m just quoting a line from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Commando which struck me when I first heard it in 1985. But obviously Doris had not heard that line back in 1964, and had not even considered that she might have the option of NOT staying with some over reactive jerk. My apologies to Johnny. I’m not calling him a jerk; he’s just acting like one. Doris shouldn’t have been so ready to bend over backwards to accommodate his temper. I don’t know what happens with Doris in the future, but I hope she gets over it and learns that “temper” is not the equivalent of “masculine strength.”
BEST USE OF WOMEN’S INTUITION
You’ll notice in the Award above that many of these female characters show themselves to be keenly aware of the power they have over their world, their comrades and even their enemies, simply by virtue of being female. So, perhaps that 60’s sensibility of sex was not actually such a bad thing after all! And it’s certainly an asset when our female characters use their “Women’s Intuition.”
In the category of Best Use of Women’s Intuition, the nominees are…
- Janet Van Dyne, who immediately recognizes that the man in this Giant-Man suit is not her own Handsome Hank!
- Betty Ross, who is not fooled by the Chameleon masquerading as her Beloved Bruce Banner!
- Karen Page, who feels like…hmmmm…
And the Award goes to…
Karen Page. Janet and Betty are simply picking up on clues, but I believe Karen is sensing something amiss on a much deeper level. Unfortunately, as in the Most 60’s Portrayal of Women Award, poor Karen lacks the self-confidence to trust her own instincts. But she does HAVE instincts. I believe that on some deeper level she knows what’s going on. Or, she at least knows that SOMETHING is going on with her handsome blind boss. Can’t wait to see what happens when she finally figures it out!
TECHNOLOGY…SORT OF…
In a previous Award, I mentioned that using the telephone and a tape recorder at the same time was what passed for Technology in the 1960’s. I stand by my words. And with that in mind, let us consider this next Award.
In the category of Technology…Sort Of…, the nominees are…
- Spider-Man’s Light Signal
- Spider-Man’s GPS Spider-tracker
- Dr. Blake’s ingenious 3D projector/Motorcycle
And the Award goes to…
Spider-Man’s tracker. I like that Marvel Comics foresaw GPS decades before it came into vogue. And I especially like that it was a nerdy high school kid who came up with the stylish gizmo.
WISH WE HAD *THAT* INVENTION
Okay, this one is not based at all in the reality of the 1960’s, but rather in the imaginative spirit that first gave us the likes of Star Trek, Lost in Space, and of course…Marvel Comics! The following Marvel inventions all illustrate the “can-do spirit” of the 1960’s, but only one can win.
In the category of Wish We Had THAT Invention, the nominees are…
- Mr. Hyde’s Reversal Ray Gun
- Reed Richard’s Transistorized Detector
- Paste Pot Pete’s…Paste…
And the Award goes to…
Reed Richard’s Transistorized Detector. You can’t tell simply by the nomination picture, but the whole point of the invention is to locate the missing Invisible Girl–who is missing, by the way, not because she is Invisible, but because she’s been kidnapped. What a different world we would live in, if somehow we had an invention that could track down missing persons! The other two nominations are FUN, but Reed’s invention could prevent a lot of sorrow and heartbreak in the real world.
NOW…THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT!
Marvel Comics are of course, themselves, a form of entertainment. Yet with an uncanny sense of self-awareness, the Marvel Bullpen spares no expense in shamelessly exploiting every aspect of showbiz and pop culture to spice up their stories with images and anecdotes that evoke all the other forms of entertainment that permeated the 1960’s. Paradoxically, it’s this imaginary aspect of the real world that makes the imaginary world of Marvel Comics feel more real (if that makes sense…)
In the category of Now…That’s Entertainment! the nominees are…
- The live broadcast of a reporter entering a haunted house
- Daredevil and Electro’s fight being interrupted by a stage revue of dancing girls
- The Magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat
- Green Goblin convinces a Hollywood director to shoot a movie with Spider-Man
- An over-eager Spider-Man ruins a shot in a heist movie
And the Award goes to…
Strange Tales #120, for bringing us the televised spectacle of a reporter walking into the unknown decades before Geraldo Rivera ever cracked open that vault, looking for Al Capone’s hope chest. Again, Marvel Comics anticipates the trend. (Or…perhaps….was Geraldo a fan of Marvel Comics and got this idea from Strange Tales #120?)
WELL, IT IS, AFTER ALL, THE 60’S…
Ready for a little more nostalgia? Rev up your Time Machine, we’re about to take a wild ride into the 1960’s!
In the category of Well, It Is, After All, the 60’s, the nominees are…
- The Stingray car
- Dreamboat Cary Grant
- The Beverly Hillbillies
- Beatniks in Greenwich Village
- “Groovy!”
- The Beatles…again…
- Khrushchev
- Liz Taylor and Dick Burton
Had enough yet? I certainly have! Yes, this is certainly a field of contenders, but so much fun, I couldn’t bear to cut any of them. And now the difficult task of choosing one among many. Sigh…
And the Award goes to…
J. Jonah Jameson, for rightly evoking the image of the Beatles in his own personal nightmare of how popular thorn-in-his-side Spider-Man might become. Could anything be more distressful to Jameson than hordes of teenage girls screaming and fainting at the sight of Spidey? And wouldn’t you love to see how Jameson might deal with THAT?
MOST EXOTIC LOCATION
By the 1960’s, audiences began to tire of watching the hi-jinks of suburban troublemakers like Dennis the Menace and the annoying Eddie Haskell. Audiences began to demand more exotic locales than the two-story house behind the white picket fence. And Marvel Comics stepped up to meet the demand!
In the category of Most Exotic Location, the nominees are…
- The Temple of Tirod in Mexico
- Asgard
- The Watcher’s home planet
- The Nightmare World
- Diablo’s castle in Transylvania
- Alternate Dimensions
- The domain of the dread Dormammu
And the Award goes to…
Strange Tales! But it’s a tie, because both the Nightmare World and the Domain of the Dread Dormammu have a Seuss-esque quality about them with which Mexico and Transylvania can never compete! All the others are Honorable Mentions, but my heart belongs to Dr. Seuss.
MOST DRAMATIC “DAMSEL IN DISTRESS” MOMENT
“Damsel in Distress” has always been a staple of melodrama, and comics in general, and the Marvel Silver Age in particular, will not be left behind in this regard!
In the category Most Dramatic Damsel in Distress Moment, the nominees are…
- Betty Brant is captured by Doctor Octopus
- Doris is taken hostage by Barracuda
- Mr. Hyde kidnaps Jane Foster
- Owl captures Karen Page and puts her in a cage
- Wasp is held captive by Zemo
- Sue is taken captive by Mole Man
- Hawkeye kidnaps Pepper
Hmmm…with so many nominees…it makes me wonder if Marvel Comics could have possibly survived without this trope! So many to choose from!
But the Award goes to…
Owl for not only capturing Karen Page, but also putting her in a CAGE! (extra points for the rhyme?) And not only that… but he’s also got Daredevil! Some of the other nominees, while in dire straits, still may harbor hope that their hero will somehow get through and rescue them. But Karen can plainly see that her hero is in the same predicament! Who will save her now? Foggy?? Oh no. This situation is MOST distressing…
THE DEPTH OF FASHION
I always get a kick out of how the Marvel Silver Age approaches the unique fashion style of the day. Many hits? But perhaps more misses!
In the category of The Depth of Fashion, the nominees are…
- Pepper makes fun of Happy’s colorful jacket
- Kraven the Hunter…I don’t care what decade it is…this is not a good look
- When did high school kids ever wear bow ties to school??
And the Award goes to…
Kraven. And I don’t even need to explain this one.
BEST PJ’S OR UNDERWEAR
Let’s delve a little deeper into the world of fashion. Specifically, how does the Marvel Silver Age approach the subject of pajamas and underwear? They certainly don’t shy away from the more intimate apparel, as the following scenes will clearly show.
In the category of Best PJ’s or Underwear, the nominees are…
- Happy Hogan at the ironing board
- Iron Man recharging his battery
- Beast relaxing with his math books
- The Top reading the newspaper in bed
And the Award goes to…
Beast, because he looks both intellectual and handsome in his striped pajama pants.
WORST HAIRSTYLE
Have you ever looked back at a photo of yourself and cringed because your hairstyle was so awful and dated?
In the category of Worst Hairstyle, the nominees are…
- The exotic-looking white-haired girl of Dormammu has a most unusual hairstyle…
- Young Thor looks very much like the Dutch Paint Boy, until he grows his hair out a bit, and resembles Farrah Fawcett
- Pepper Potts gets wet and invents the “mullet”
And the Award goes to…
Teenage Thor. Who among us does not have an embarrassing photo of ourselves sporting what we thought was a “cool” hairstyle, in our younger days? So much empathy…
BEST HAIRSTYLE
On the other hand, good hair is good hair.
In the category of Best Hairstyle, the nominees are…
- The Mad Thinker evokes Willem Dafoe with his generous mane
- If you like redheads, you’ve got to love Matt Murdock
- And once again, that white-haired girl from Dormammu…
And the Award goes to…
Matt Murdock. Because I love redheads.
TONY STARK’S LEAST ROMANTIC DATE
Tony Stark may be a handsome millionaire playboy, but that doesn’t mean every date he’s ever gone on is the absolute best. To bring our playboy down a notch, let us consider for a moment, some of his least romantic dates this past year.
In the category of Tony Stark’s Least Romantic Date, the nominees are…
- Tony dates Natasha, but she is actually on assignment for the Commies
- Tony wines and dines Pamela, but Freudian Slips her name…
- Tony takes Pepper to the Circus, because it’s the least romantic place he can think of
And the Award goes to…
Tony and Pamela. Nothing screams “NOT Romantic” like forgetting what girl you’re with and calling her by the name of the girl you really would prefer to be with! But then, when you finally get a chance to take out the girl you actually want to be with, you take her to the CIRCUS? I don’t really understand Tony Stark. He’s one mixed-up billionaire playboy.
MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY
In the 1950’s, Father Knows Best, Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver were the television model of the American Family. In the 1960’s, we still had Family Affair, the Cartwrights of Bonanza and Andy Griffith in Mayberry, but the Beverly Hillbillies, the Addams Family, and the Munsters were beginning to show us how much fun the dysfunctional family could be. Though Marvel’s definition of “family” wasn’t always a strict one, many groups in these Silver Age comics imitated and performed like an actual family. And many of those “families” put the “fun” into “dysfunctional”!
In the category of Most Dysfunctional Family, the nominees are…
- Toad begs Magneto to punish Mastermind
- The Executioner insults and bullies Zemo for his failure
- Despite the good advice from the Enchantress (see above), Doctor Doom’s Merciless Henchmen insist upon fighting among themselves
And the Award goes to…
Dr. Doom’s Merciless Henchmen. Of course “fighting among themselves” is the benchmark of the dysfunctional family, but in this case, we start out with such a low-grade inept group of criminals that they really can’t afford to gum up the works with senseless bickering. And yet they do.
MY FAVORITE ALIEN(S)
I’ve been mentioning 1960’s TV shows quite a bit in these Awards, so it’s no wonder I’ve got Bill Bixby on my mind—though, at the moment, not as Bruce Banner from Incredible Hulk, but as the long-suffering Tim O’Hara of My Favorite Martian.
In the category of My Favorite Alien, the nominees are…
- The Infant Terrible
- The benevolent alien race of Wasp’s evil Mingo story
- The Watcher
- The body-snatching aliens who give Doctor Strange a run for his money
- The Sneepers
- The Haunted House Alien
- AKA…Gorko the Gypsy
And the Award goes to…
The Strange Tales alien who’s haunting a house. Yes, I know I gave an award for this story earlier, but the fact that I’m doing so again clearly indicates how strongly this story resonated with me (and these are, after all…MY Awards!) Aliens can be terrifying, but haunted houses even more so. Blending these concepts into one story is…KA-POW! If this was a movie, I would be too frightened to watch it. But as a 1964 Marvel Comic, it’s pure magic!
ROBOTS AND ANDROIDS
Aliens…yes! But even moreso: what would the 1960’s be without robots and androids?
In the category of Robots and Androids, the nominees are…
- Victor Von Doom sends a mechanical man in his image to face the firing squad
- Banner creates a giant red robot
- Egghead devises a giant pink android to battle Giant-Man
- Kang uses a Spider-Man robot to fight the Avengers
And the Award goes to…
Victor Von Doom, for using his android for the most important task possible–self-preservation! Fighting your opponents with androids and robots is all well and good…but you can’t do it if you’re dead! Doom uses his mechanical man to save his own life, running away to live to fight another day! And Marvel Comics is all the better for it!
CIRCUS ATMOSPHERE
It’s widely known that Stan Lee always had a dream of running away to join the circus. His fascination with the circus permeates Marvel Comics, making this world both richer and more bizarre. I wouldn’t be surprised if, as I continue to read Marvel Comics, there are many, many more references to the circus.
In the category of Circus Atmosphere, the nominees are…
- The X-Men take on a troupe of acrobats
- Daredevil and Spider-Man battle the Ringmaster
- Magneto enjoys the circus atmosphere
And the Award goes to…
Magneto, who soaks up the circus atmosphere with such glee. If Disney had owned Marvel in 1964, and had already made their animated version of Hercules, and if Magneto was so musically inclined, at this point he would be booming, “I would go most anywhere…to feel like I belong!”
One might say that the whole of the Marvel Silver Age feels like one big circus! Looking back from our vantage point 50 years later, who could disagree? But the circus is fun, isn’t it?! And in our next two sets of Awards, we’re about to meet the Ringmasters of the Marvel Circus, the writers and artists who make it all possible, so we are constantly entertained! Looking forward to meeting with you next week, for more Marvelous Awards!
