TALES TO ASTONISH #62: This Masquerade

Published: December, 1964

Published: December, 1964

Giant-Man and Hulk are now sharing Tales to Astonish. Though their personalities are on opposite sides of the spectrum, oddly, they seem more alike than different. Of course they’re both HUGE, both alter egos of brilliant scientists who enjoy the company of devoted gal-pals with whom they are almost but not quite, well, sorta romantically involved. That much is obvious. But as I read this issue of Tales to Astonish, I found even more common themes running through their narratives. Some don’t hold up as well as others, but let’s take a look.

“Giant-Man Versus the Wonderful Wasp!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Carl Burgos
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Art Simek

THE POWER OF IMPERSONATION
We begin with Giant-Man facing a new villain…if you want to call him a “villain.” Second-Story Sammy is actually little more than a second-class thug, who wears a hat and bow tie while burglarizing second-story apartments. This career is going nowhere. Clearly Sammy needs a new angle, a makeover, and he gets one when he witnesses bio-chemist Henry Pym committing the unforgiveable error of using too potent an additive in his experiment. An explosion throws Pym across the room, knocking him out.

During the explosion, a business card drops from the table to the floor. (Because, as everyone knows, no bio-chemist worth his sodium chloride could possibly complete a potentially explosive experiment without his business card being right there…)

tta62buscardSammy picks up the card, discovers it’s for Henry Pym, Bio-Chemist, and correctly jumps to the conclusion that the unconscious man in the Giant-Man monkey suit must BE Henry Pym. (Hey, folks, we’ve only got 12 pages to tell this story, can’t waste a whole lot of time trying to get things to make sense.)

So at this point, I’m feeling somewhat deflated about the potential for this story, but then something happens that’s both amazing and disturbing. When Sammy puts on the Giant-Man suit, he finds he has ALL the powers that Hank has when wearing the suit. He is, effectively, Giant-Man.

Which leads me to ask the question: how dangerous is it, to have that much power in something that can be stolen?

THE EVENING GOWN COMPETITION
Let’s quickly review the other Avengers as they slip into their superhero attire. Captain America also has a suit, but the power is not in the suit, it’s in his chemically altered and well-trained body. As Russ rightly points out, Steve Rogers is Captain America, even in his pajamas. Yes, he’s got that shield, but any criminal stealing it would not be able to wield it as a weapon, unless he also possessed the same conditioning and strength as Steve Rogers.

tos55imjim105thorIron Man has a suit (and you’ll notice for this discussion, I can’t bring myself to call it a “costume”). Iron Man’s suit also has a lot of power, arguably more than Pym’s expanding leotard and cybernetic helmet. Could that suit be stolen and manipulated for evil purposes? Perhaps. I haven’t seen that storyline, but I surmise that a villain would need the brilliant brain and technical know-how of a Tony Stark to make the suit perform effectively. (Of course, that’s not out of the realm of possibility, so…hmmm…I guess I’ll have to wait and see.)

As for Thor, he’s a god, his power cannot be stolen. Except perhaps by another god, like Loki, who can hypnotize and neutralize him, but that’s not the same as stealing his power. Thor has his hammer, which no one but he can pick up, so….no problem there.

Conclusion? Of all the superheroes I’ve met so far, Giant-Man is the most vulnerable to attack and impersonation. And that’s a real problem, for him, and the world he lives in. As such, Pym would be wise to jealously guard his secret identity. And of course, the conceit of this story is that he actually DOES have a policy of keeping his Giant-Man identity a secret. Except…he doesn’t.

Even if we forget for a moment that at the end of this story, he invites members of THE PRESS up to Henry Pym’s lab, Giant-Man has never been super-careful about his secret identity. For instance, in Tales to Astonish #55, Giant-Man and Wasp hold a fan club meeting…IN HENRY PYM’S LABORATORY! Hello! Does this strike anyone as odd? It’s apparently common knowledge, if not that Pym and Giant-Man are the same person, that they are at least buddies. Any villain who wanted to find out more about Giant-Man would only have to corner mild-mannered Pym in a dark alley and make him talk.

tta54fanclubNow, as if this wasn’t enough, in Tales to Astonish #54, Pym receives a surprise visit from his fan club at his lab, while he’s wearing his Giant-Man costume…without his mask! So, everyone in his fan club now knows that the giant man inside the Giant-Man suit IS, in fact, Henry Pym.

One more? In Tales to Astonish #58, Captain America actually STOPS BY Pym’s lab to deliver a message to Giant-Man. As we all know, there’s a solemn pact among the Avengers that they never reveal their real identities to each other. But somehow, Cap had no problem knowing exactly where to find Giant-Man. (Maybe he’s been dating a talkative gal from Giant-Man’s fan club?)

There may be other examples, but I’ve made my point. Giant-Man’s secret identity…well…not so secret. But the funny part is that brilliant scientist Pym honestly believes it is! Because, at the end of the story, he feels compelled to use a memory-loss serum on Sammy to make him forget everything that’s happened.

cheersWiping Sammy’s memory clean is actually a good idea, though not for the preservation of Giant-Man’s secret identify. The real reason should be so Sammy doesn’t get drunk at the bar and blab to everyone he knows that by stealing Giant-Man’s suit, he got to BE Giant-Man for a day. That’s a much bigger and more dangerous issue for Giant-Man than his supposed “secret identity.”

So why does the story not go there? Theory: Maybe Pym is aware that he has a problem with his “one size fits all” suit, but is embarrassed to confess to Jan that he doesn’t know how to fix it. There could be a lot more going on behind the scenes than the writers are letting us in on. Or, more likely, they simply haven’t put a dollar’s worth of thought into a 12-cent, 12-page story.


tta62splash“Enter…the Chameleon!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Steve Ditko
Inks: George Bell
Letters: Sam Rose
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BANNER’S SUPREME SECRET
But let’s move on to Hulk now, because Bruce Banner also has a secret identity, but like Thor, there’s no way anyone’s stealing his thunder by stumbling upon a pill or portion or wundersuit. And unlike fellow scientist Pym, Banner’s survival and freedom is absolutely dependent upon no one finding out that he moonlights as Mr. Mean and Green. In Banner’s case, the secret really IS supreme, and for that reason I might be able to forgive him for what at first appear to be misplaced priorities.

We start on the splash, with Hulk imprisoned in unbreakable chains, anxiously lamenting that he must make every effort to break free before General Ross learns “who I really AM!!” Then, as soon as Banner is Banner once again, practically the first words out of his mouth are a relieved “I don’t think anyone saw my transformation!”

At the end of the story, when the blast of the gamma bomb causes Hulk to turn back, Banner’s first thought is how lucky he is there’s so much smoke that nobody saw him transform. Not “I’m grateful I’m still alive,” or “Thank God nobody was killed by the bomb!” No, uppermost in his mind is the preservation of his secret identity.

THE CRAFTY CHAMELEON
But Banner’s secret identity is only a small portion of the masquerading going on here. The Chameleon serves as the villain of this piece, and though in the past I’ve been less than impressed, slowly I’m beginning to appreciate his charms.

Chameleon is sent on a mission by a mysterious leader, named…wait for it…The Leader. His objective is to find out what happened to the agent sent to General Ross’s missile base in Tales to Astonish #61, but that little fact is completely beside the point. The point is that it’s the Chameleon, so now we know we’re off on a roller coaster ride of nothing being what it seems.

tta62masksArriving at the base, Chameleon impersonates General Ross in order to make Hulk his ally. The clueless soldiers leave the commandeering “General” alone with the beast. Hulk is uncooperative, of course, but that doesn’t matter, because when Chameleon/Ross steps away for a moment, Hulk transforms back to Banner and escapes.

Drats! But Chameleon isn’t beaten yet. Deciding he may not be able to fulfill his mission of finding out about the missing agent, he settles on Plan B, stealing secrets from one of America’s greatest atomic scientists. To do this, he captures and impersonates Banner, locating not only the plans, but also an actual GAMMA BOMB Banner just happens to have laying around in his office.

All seems to be going well for Chameleon, but then…enter Betty. A mere girl. It takes her all of 30 seconds to figure out that the guy who looks like Bruce is not really her sweetie-pie. tta62intuitionThe narrator puts this down to “an intuition, which only females seem to have.” Which makes me wonder if Stan is implying that all women possess a mild yet innate level of superpowers.

A short time later, “Banner” hides an unconscious Betty in a “rocket speed-velocity test sled,” then runs off, hoping to deliver the gamma grenade to the Leader and become “the most important spy of all!”

The real Banner has other plans, though, and having transformed to Hulk, pursues Chameleon, who is forced to use the gamma bomb, which of course has no impact on someone of Hulk’s stature. Chameleon escapes with nothing to show for his efforts, and Banner disappears into the smoke, hoping he can change clothes before Talbot “puts two and two together and realizes who the Hulk really IS!”

Well, not much chance of anyone putting two and two together any time soon. What fun would that be? I feel confident I’ll continue to enjoy the amusements of masquerade in Marvel Comics for a long time to come.

JUSTICE ISN’T BLIND, SHE’S BLINDFOLDED
And now, for something completely different: I have a little problem with the way justice is handed out in both stories.

In the Hulk feature, the charges against Banner are quickly dismissed when Betty swears he wasn’t the one who kidnapped her and set off that bomb. Ross reveals that he still has suspicions, but what do you expect? He’s an over-protective father. The important point is that based solely on the testimony of Banner’s GIRLFRIEND, they’re not even going to investigate the matter further. Is this any way to run a military, with a ferocious green monster running about? It’s all resolved too easily.

But that’s nothing compared to the way the Giant-Man story concludes.

tta62memories

Okay. Where shall I begin? How about… “just happened to have some memory-loss serum lying around”? Between Banner with gamma bombs carelessly strewn about his office, and Pym’s potent memory-loss serum, I’d say our scientist boys are awfully careless with their toys.

But that’s not the worst of it. I have to wonder: If indeed Pym has a memory serum that can make criminals forget they’ve ever been criminals, why doesn’t he share this incredible concoction with the justice system? Jail wardens could simply pop a drop of the potion in every inmate’s plate of beans, wipe their slates clean, empty the jails and solve all of society’s ills overnight.

bronsonWouldn’t that be wonderful? Or…maybe not. Because even though criminals would no longer remember they’ve been criminals, there would still be victims demanding justice. Does that not count for anything?

I guess not, if you happen to be Henry Pym, Bio-Chemist. He has no problem taking upon himself the roles of judge and jury, and never mind executioner, because he’ll simply pardon wrongdoers, whenever it suits his own purposes (i.e. – keeping his secret, which we’ve already determined, is no secret at all). He’s like a mad scientist performing brain surgery on people without consent.

Apparently, Pym has decided that one of the perks of being a superhero is that he gets to decide who has to pay and who gets a free pass. I’m concerned about any one person having all this power, especially if that person is self-absorbed and at least somewhat delusional.

In addition to Hank having no respect for the legislative and judicial branches of government, he also thinks the press is a bunch of bungling idiots who couldn’t get a story if it was staring them straight in the face. And here in the Marvel Universe, he may be right. After all, tta62plantGiant-Man invites reporters to Pym’s lab to tell them how he, Giant-Man, stopped the giant plant. (Oh yeah, there’s this giant plant, menacing all of New York, but I haven’t mentioned it till now, because it’s the least interesting aspect of the story.)

We don’t see it, but don’t you think at some point it might occur to one of these reporters to ask, “Hey, where did this giant plant come from? We’re here in the lab of bio-chemist Henry Pym, could there be any chance Pym wreaked havoc on the city by letting one of his experiments get out of control? And if that’s the case, maybe PYM should be held accountable for his actions?”

And do you think it might occur to any of these ace reporters to question WHY Giant-Man calls a press conference in Pym’s lab? Are none of them going to connect the dots? Or, is Giant-Man right in assuming none of them have enough brains to figure it out?

Or, perhaps he simply sprayed them all with his memory loss serum, selectively wiping their memories of only those things he no longer wishes them to recall.

Wow. It’s awfully convenient to have superpowers and super-potions. Seems Giant-Man can get away with almost anything he wants. I’m not liking him very much in this story.

A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE PICTURES
AND A FEW MORE WORDS ABOUT WORDS

I could go on like this all day, but let’s wrap this up now with a few random observations.

  • tta62waspThis time around, Giant-Man artist is Carlos Burgos, whom Russ tells me has a history with Marvel Comics, but this is the first time I’m seeing his art, and I especially like what he does with Wasp.
  • tta62hulkeyesSteve Ditko gives us the art for the Hulk story, and though poor Betty can’t hold a candle to Wasp, I was impressed with the “make-up” Ditko applies to the troubled Hulk, giving him a much more stressed and menacing appearance.
  • All the Marvel Comics I’m reading are overwritten, but this Giant-Man story tops the list for alliteration. The narrator can’t mention Henry without calling him “happy” or “handsome,” even though those adjectives have nothing to do with the story. Then, when the narrator pops in with an arrow to warn “Look out, Sammy! That ledge isn’t safe!” I feel it’s the writer who’s gone over the edge.
  • tta62ledgesign

  • Oh, and one more thing… on the top of page 17, does General Ross really say “blankity-blank”?? Commander Benson, you’ve been in the military: did your officers talk like that?
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Posted in Giant-Man, Hulk, Tales to Astonish, Wasp | 4 Comments

Meanwhile…: November, 1964

STRANGE TALES #126

st126“Pawns of the Deadly Duo!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Dick Ayers
Inks: Paul Reinman
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
The Mad Thinker and the Puppet Master conspire to destroy the Fantastic Four. Under the Puppet Master’s control, Thing knocks Torch out of the Fantasticar, but he reverts to Ben Grimm and saves his little buddy. Reed outfits Thing in a modified thought-projecter helmet to reveal which villain is behind the attack. In their secret lair, the Mad Thinker instructs the Puppet Master to double the amount of radioactive clay in his next Thing puppet. However, their attempt to weaken Thing backfires because Thing is now wearing another Reed-designed helmet. This one boomerangs a mighty power feedback back to the source. As the Puppet Master lies motionless on the floor, the Mad Thinker swears to “get them yet.”

WHAT’S HOT
HUNK ALERT! Once again we are treated to an all too brief appearance by the burly bare-chested Ben Grimm.

GENIUS ALERT! Reed creates a device which he believes may very well keep the Puppet Master from ever bothering them again. We can only hope it works…

WHAT’S NOT
EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS STORY. The same old mediocre villains are up to their sale old mediocre tricks, and our heroes respond as predicted. This story could be stricken from the Marvel annals with no detrimental effect to the overall narrative.

st126banner1


st126splash“The Domain of the Dread Dormammu!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Strange travels to the Realm of Darkness to confront the Dread Dormammu. He overcomes a series of challenges, but will not battle Dormammu until next ish. Stay tuned…

WHAT’S HOT
THE GIRL WITH THE ODD WHITE HAIR. A girl watches Strange from afar, notes that he is “young and fair to behold,” and silently urges him to turn back and save himself. I guess not everyone in the Realm of Darkness is completely evil.

But the sympathetic temperament of this character is not the most interesting thing.

It’s always a hoot to see how Marvel portrays the citizens of other worlds. Obviously a good deal of imagination goes into these artistic interpretations, yet somehow we always seem to remain strictly within the confines of 1960’s. Recall if you will all the gals of the original Star Trek universe—though they had green skin or wore strange beehive hairdos, mini skirts and go-go boots were standard uniform for crewmembers, and alien females applied makeup and covered their bodies in a way that was sure to prove alluring to the away party (and the television audience).

The mysterious white-haired girl in this story fits right into this mold. I hope we see her again…not only because I want to find out who she is, but honestly, I can’t wait to see what she may next pull out of her wardrobe.

WHAT’S NOT
OVERKILL. This story contains a plethora of crypic references: the Dread Dramannu, the all-seeing Agamatto, the crimson bands of Cyttorak, the twelve moons of Munnipor, the light of Vishanti….you get the idea. I understand the objective here is the same as with the white-haired girl— to impress upon the reader that we’re no longer in Kansas. But too much of a good thing can leave us overwhelmed—and not in a good way. We should be intrigued, not confused. I suppose we’ll eventually get further explanation for all these oddities, but right now, I feel too uncomfortably like a stranger in a strange, strange land.

st126banner2

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AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #18

asm18“The End of Spider-Man!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
After running out of last issue’s Fan Club Meeting, Spider-Man is now more than ever the object of public ridicule and distrust. Immobilized by concern for sick Aunt May, he finds himself unwilling to take a risk in fighting the usual villains. Poor Peter is also overwhelmed by money and girl trouble. He’s about ready to turn in his mask for good, until Aunt May recovers enough to give him a fiery lecture about “gumption.” After reading an anti-Spidey editorial by JJJ, Pete digs his Spidey costume out of the trash can and vows to fight like he’s never fought before!

WHAT’S HOT
ALL SOAP, ALL THE TIME. Midway through this issue, I realized that even though we’d had a brief appearance by Sandman and some random thugs, this story was not about Spidey fighting evildoers. It was all about Pete’s personal problems—sick aunt, no money, girl troubles, foolish Flash and Jameson’s relentless, annoying gloating. Near the end, poor Pete’s so overwhelmed, he’s ready to hang up his mask…permanently! Of course he doesn’t, and comes back stronger than ever.

WHAT’S NOT
CAN THIS REALLY BE THE END? This compelling question is put forth on the cover and the all-too-obvious answer is: No. Of course not. Despite the provocation, from my unique perspective a half-century down the road, I recognize it as nothing more than hype designed to sell comic mags. As I’m sure the readers of the day did as well.

However, the tag “the story you never expected to read” is not entirely disingenuous. It’s simply misleading. We never expected ALL SOAP, ALL THE TIME. It’s new! It’s different! It’s a refreshing break from the formula! But don’t get used to it. Despite the brief respite, this is surely NOT the end of Spidey fighting his parade of villains.

asm18banner

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TALES OF SUSPENSE #59

tos59“The Black Knight!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Don Heck

IN A NUTSHELL
Black Knight breaks out of jail and tracks down Iron Man at Stark’s factory, just as Stark collapses, then locks himself in his office to recharge his battery. Worried about the boss, Pepper and Happy try everything they can to reach him, while Iron Man uses transistors and inducers to get up to full speed. He busts out of the building and fights Black Knight, rescuing good-intentioned Happy from the building ledge along the way. In the end, Iron Man delivers Black Knight to the police, and later, when he tells Pepper and Happy that Stark suddenly left for a business trip…they don’t believe him.

WHAT’S HOT
I’D DO ANYTHING… Happy is willing to risk his life climbing out on the ledge to get into the room to help the boss who seems to be having a medical emergency. That’s true friendship. And true job security.

WHAT’S NOT
I DON’T TRUST ANYONE. In sharp contrast, Stark would risk his life to a medical emergency rather than let his closest friends in on his secret identity. I guess a lifetime as a playboy billionaire has skewed his sense of priorities. Or is this just the way all good superheroes with secret identities are expected to behave?

HOWEVER…
THE SEEDS OF SUSPICION. As Happy and Pepper attempt to break into Stark’s office to help him, they note that the door and “the whole blamed WALL is solid steel.” The moment is too fraught with drama for more than a perfunctory “I wonder why?” but at the end of the story, Iron Man tells them Stark just suffered a dizzy spell and left town, and they don’t believe him. I wonder if this might be the beginning of Stark’s supporting cast finally putting the pieces together?

tos59banner1


tos59splash“Captain America”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
While Cap is on Avengers “callout” duty, a bunch of thugs show up, hoping to break what they perceive to be the weakest link in the Avengers chain. Despite the fact that one bad guy is dressed in a suit of armor, another wields an acetylene torch, and yet another a bazooka, Cap prevails in the end. Not so weak after all, eh?

WHAT’S HOT
NEW AND IMPROVED. For a series premiere, this story is wholly unremarkable. The best thing I have to report is the first appearance of Stark’s butler, Jarvis. (By the way, a new feature: Whenever I meet a character that I already know from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I’ll do a quick compare-contrast of my “First Impression” in a pink sidebar.) However, even a second-rate Captain America story beats a first-rate Watcher story any day. No matter how this Captain America series turns out, I’m not sad to see the giant-headed toga-ed one taking a seat even further back on the Marvel bus.

FIRST IMPRESSION

jarvis1stimpressI first knew Jarvis as the voice of Stark’s super-intelligent computer, and later, the attractive British butler who assists Peggy Carter with such adorable dignity. This early version of Jarvis can’t hold a candle to either, but being a nut for origin stories, I’m glad to finally meet the original. One thing both seem to possess: that uncanny British propensity for being, above all else, PROPER.

I’D RATHER DO IT MYSELF! You’d think that since this is Cap’s first adventure in his own Silver Age series, a few buddies might have dropped by to help kick-off the spin-off. To date, Torch has almost never been able to get through a single issue of his Human Torch series without at least Thing dropping by to assist—and in fact, it’s happened so often, the series has now been rightly named “The Human Torch and the Ever-Lovin’ Thing!” Guest appearances appear to be the norm in the Marvel Universe, but Stan and Jack let Cap fly solo in his premiere outing. Does this prove they think he has enough charisma to carry the series on his own? Or is it more likely they realize how ridiculous it would look if Cap needed the entire Avengers gang to show up to help him knock off a few common thugs?

ALWAYS ON THE JOB. You gotta love the dedication of the superhero: even when they’re off duty, they stay in uniform. Me, I would be in my jammies, drinking that Jarvis coffee, and hoping he’s baked some nice scones as well. But then, I’m not a superhero. (Hmmmm…maybe that’s why…)

WHAT’S NOT
SECOND FIDDLE. When Cap sees a picture of Bucky, he refers to him as “My teen-age sidekick.” In what universe do superheroes refer to their sidekicks AS sidekicks? Perhaps in…the Marvel Universe? I don’t know. Frankly, it sounds awkward and silly.

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JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #110

jim110“Every Hand Against Him!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Loki disguises himself as a mortal and bails Hyde and Cobra out of jail, then increases their powers, so they can band together against Thor. When Hyde and Cobra kidnap Jane, Thor deduces Loki is behind it and rushes to Asgard, though Odin has banished him. Loki reveals Jane’s location, then Thor convinces Odin to lift his banishment. Odin transports Thor to Jane, where he fights Hyde and Cobra. Tear gas temporarily disables Thor, but leaves Jane at death’s door. Thor stops time until he can figure out what to do. Tune in next time…

WHAT’S HOT
IT’S TOO EASY BEING GREEN. When Loki changes into a mortal, he wears a green suit. Hmmm…the mysterious man whose secret identity is Green Goblin also appears in a green suit. I know it’s a jump in logic, and I’m mostly being facetious, but how cool would it be if LOKI (in his spare time) is secretly moonlighting as the Green Goblin??

WHEN IN ROME…As soon as Thor gets back to Asgard, his speech grows so much more archaic.

  • “It hurls back to thee!”
  • “There is much evil afoot on earth!”
  • “Admit it, thou basest of villains!”

Do you have an accent? Does it fade when you’re away from home and family, then get stronger when you get back amongst thy people? I imagine this is what’s happening to Thor. For sure, Dr. Don Blake would never talk this way!

WHAT’S NOT
PICK-NIT. The splash informs us that this comic was “eventually lettered” by Art Simek. He must have been working on a stressful deadline, because there’s a major lettering blunder on page eight, when Thor instructs the crowds, “Back! Stand no one approach me.” Reminds me so much of Dark Shadows “Fridspeak”

IT’S KIND OF A GAS (NOT!). Seems Thor is susceptible to tear gas. Only temporarily, but still… this is not good. I sort of like my gods to be above such troublesome physical reactions. I hope this is a development the writers will quickly discard. The same way I’d like them to discard…

TIME STANDS STILL. This cannot possibly be put down in the plus column when writing comics. In real life…yeah! Wouldn’t it be great? But in comics, if a character can make time stand still, the next logical step is that they’re able to turn back time. And once you turn back time and un-do everything that’s been done, it all become one big fat “SO WHAT?” Nothing is real, so nothing matters, which is exactly the problem I had in this month’s installment of The Avengers.

jim110splash“The Defeat of Odin!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Vince Colletta
Letters: Art Simek

Odin leads his forces into battle across the Boiling Plain, but turns back to prevent harm to the horses, who “have not been tinged with immortality as WE have!” Later, when Thor points out he could have neutralized the geysers with a simple spell, Odin insists he retreated to give hope to the enemy, so they will maintain “the fire of rebellion in their blood,” which guarantees “the race of man remain strong and fearless!” To which Thor replies, “I think I begin to understand, Father!”

I agree that Thor only BEGINS to understand. The narrator claims that Odin’s goal is “helping mankind” become “truly strong…truly courageous,” but I see an egotistical leader who considers the simple, easy victory a shabby victory. Instead, he allows his opponent to develop a false sense of security, so that when they next meet on the battlefield, his challenge will bring a victory worth bragging about. Essentially, Odin is fattening up his enemy for the kill.

Call me a cynic, but…so much for helping mankind.

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TALES TO ASTONISH #61

tta61“Now Walks the Android”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Steve Ditko
Inks: George Bell

IN A NUTSHELL
Egghead escapes from jail and lures Hank and Jan to an abandoned warehouse to fight his remote-controlled giant purple android. He causes the android to transform from lighter than a feather to heavy as bricks, which confuses Giant-Man, even as the air is drained from the room, further weakening our heroes. Wasp also gets in on the fight, but in the end it is Giant-Man who has the victory, spinning the android in dizzying circles which makes Egghead feel so lightheaded and sick, he finally agrees to set them free.

WHAT’S HOT
BLUE EYES. Jan is always calling Hank “Blue Eyes,” and I never really got it until the close-up on the bottom of page five.

BEST LINE EVER. In the same panel where Hank shows off his baby blues, he sums up his life more concisely than I’ve yet heard: “I’m a biochemist by trade….an adventurer by accident…and an Avenger by choice!” Good stuff! ’Nuff said.

WHAT’S NOT
A NEWWWW CAAAARR! Hank and Jan have a new car. Tony Stark’s latest invention, a chemically-powered converti-car, is described as both a frozen custard stand, or “overgrown fishbowl.” Though nowhere as stylish as the FF’s flying bathtub, that’s not my problem with this latest development. When the narrator describes the converti-car as “more comfortable than the back of a flying ant,” my first thought is oh no…I see the handwriting on the wall. Being GIANT-Man is so much sexier than being Ant-Man. It feels like this is just another step in the process of phasing out the little guy.

STARS IN THEIR EYES. Once again, our heroes are lured into a dangerous situation by a mysterious offer of free publicity. This usually happens to the Fantastic Four, but I guess Hank and Jan have been too busy fighting their own set of villains and entertaining hospitalized children to keep up with their comic book reading. If they were up to date, maybe they could have learned something from Torch and Thing’s mistakes, and avoided having to find out for themselves.

OUCH! THAT STINGS! The android is described as “lifeless,” so it makes no sense that it would react to Wasp’s sting. Of course Egghead is controlling the android, but he should be smart enough not to let himself become distracted by tiny annoyances like the Wasp. If he’d stayed on the task of destroying Giant-Man, rather than having the android “Whup!” and “Thwup!” at Wasp, he might have won this battle. Or, at the very least, not have been so ignobly defeated by a dizzy spell.

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tta61splash“Captured at Last!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Steve Ditko
Inks: George Bell
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
After Hulk escapes Banner’s two-ton robot, the robot stumbles upon Banner’s cave, where the spy inside builds a bomb. Major Talbot arrives at the base and flirts with Betty while tracking down Banner. When the robot threatens Betty, Banner becomes Hulk and casts the robot into a bottomless pit. Hulk annihilates the missile, but is knocked unconscious, found by Talbot and captured in Stark-designed chains. After Talbot shields Betty from falling rocks, she shows interest in him and doubts her devotion to Bruce.

FIRST IMPRESSION

talbot1stimpressI’m excited to meet Glenn Talbot, another character I’ve come to know in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In SHIELD, he’s played by Adrian Pasdar, who’s not bad-looking, but the Silver Age version seems to have way too much in common with Tony Stark (tall, dark, handsome, mustachioed). If it weren’t for Talbot’s uniform, I would barely be able to tell them apart (though, of course, there’s really no such thing as TOO MUCH “tall, dark and handsome”).

WHAT’S HOT
ONE…TWO…THREE…If I’m not mistaken, this is the first time the second part of a story does not bring about a conclusion. This is new, and full of promise. I think we’re about to get seriously serial.

SOMEBODY’S WATCHING ME. As if Banner doesn’t have enough trouble, the US Military has now assigned Major Glenn Talbot as his personal watchdog. Talbot’s sole purpose is to make trouble for Banner, and in these first few pages, it seems he’s going to excel at his mission. Romantically wedging himself between Bruce and Betty—that’s just the icing on the cake.

WHAT’S NOT
WHO?? Talbot calls Betty Ross “Miss Brant.” I’m not surprised–though, if I were Betty, I would be, if not surprised, somewhat offended. Does this guy have so many girlfriends he can’t keep them straight? Who else do we know who has too many women to keep track of? Stan Lee! While Peter Parker’s girlfriend is Betty Brant, maybe Stan should have named Bruce Banner’s girlfriend… Roxanne Ross? It would have made things simpler and less confusing. Also, perhaps he should have avoided names that have two possible spellings….like Glen and Glenn.

COPTOR SHIP. Why does Banner call a helicopter a “ship”? I don’t know…maybe it’s a military term for a copter?

MOUSY BROWN. Betty is not very attractive in this issue. The girl needs to get herself a new colorist…or some Clairol! (Though admittedly, it may have just been a function of the reprint I was reading. But I’ve seen her look better.)

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FANTASTIC FOUR #32

ff32“Death of a Hero!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
In his prison cell, Johnny and Sue’s father is possessed by the Super Skrull. He breaks out, dons a costume, calls himself the Invincible Man and wreaks havoc. When the FF are unwilling to vigorously pursue and fight him, they are perceived as weak. Reed discovers and reveals Storm Sr. is really the Super Skrull, and threatens to destroy the Skrull planet unless they return Dr. Storm. The Skrulls exchange Super Skrull for Dr. Storm, but send him back with a bomb. The bomb explodes and Dr. Storm dies.

WHAT’S HOT
ART. The outer space artwork on page three is outstanding and unexpected. Also, Sue looks fetching in her updated hairdo.

QUIZ TO FOLLOW. I didn’t guess that the Invincible Man was actually the Super Skrull. When the imposter Dr. Storm boasts “Whatever the Fantastic Four can do, I can do better!” I should have been suspicious, but honestly, at that point I was just too wrapped up in the story to want to stop and play Sherlock Holmes.

MAYBE THIS TIME… Reed successfully transforms Thing to Ben, but he has amnesia and a mean streak, so Reed reverts him back to the lovable Thing. We keep hoping Reed will figure this out and come up with a permanent solution for his old pal Ben Grimm. Or…do we? Though Grimm is considerably more handsome and pleasant than Thing, he’s nowhere near as powerful and interesting.

WHAT’S NOT
YOU ARE WHAT YOU WEAR. The Super Skrull dresses himself in primary colors with a hood, boots and oversized belt and declares that now he’s ready to be an Invincible Man because how he LOOKS like an Invincible Man! Uh….not. If that were the case, every Halloween would be the most dangerous time of the year EVER.

FAMILY DRAMA CUT SHORT. It’s too sad, and too bad, that they kill off Dr. Storm in the end. Here’s a character we could have gotten a lot of soap opera mileage out of.

BAD MANNERS. Reed figures out what’s going on, but doesn’t bother to share it with any of the others. He just starts bossing everyone around, demanding blind obedience, and becomes downright grumpy, at one point telling Ben to “Shut up!”

WORSE MANNERS. The Skrulls honor their commitment to return Dr. Storm…but nobody said anything about not attaching a bomb to his body, so they do. Bad form, bad form.

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X-MEN #8

ux8“Unus, the Untouchable!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
When a paranoid crowd misinterprets Beast’s good deed, he quits the X-Men. Unus the Untouchable must beat an X-Man before he can join Magneto. He fights Cyclops, Iceman and Angel, sending them into retreat. Meanwhile, Hank creates a ray-gun to INCREASE Unus’ power, which his fellow X-Men misinterpret. But when Unus’ strength is increased, the Untouchable can touch nothing, not even food, and he grows distraught. Beast reverses the effects, in exchange for Unus’ promise to stop being a super-villain.

WHAT’S HOT
POOR BEAST. So much of the action in this story is based upon misunderstanding. The crowd quickly turns on Beast, even though he has just saved a young boy’s life, and later, the X-Men turn on him, when they don’t understand why he wants to increase Unus’ power. In the first case, I doubt much could have been done to counter the mob mentality (“I’ve heard there are MANY such mutants in hiding…waiting to take over the world!”) but Hank could have easily explained his intentions to his fellow mutants to get them on his side. Could have, that is…if Cyclops’ demand for “a mighty good explanation,” wasn’t so quickly followed by “Drop that!” and laser beams shooting out of his eyes. Beast is treated so unfairly in this story, by everyone. Which compels the drama.

WILL HE…OR WON’T HE? At the end of the story, Unus is still out there, with his extraordinarily defensive superpower. Sure, right now, he’s promised to be a good boy, but some day, when he’s had his fill of smokes and steaks, who’s to say he won’t once again flirt with the idea of putting on the “distinctive costume”? Who’s to say Mastermind won’t be back with further enticements and recruiting efforts? Someone like Unus is just too powerful to leave out there; I predict we’ll see him again.

WHAT’S NOT
THE ONLY GIRL IN TOWN. When Jean Gray first joined the X-Men, every one of those teenaged boys had the hots for her, as if they had never seen a girl before in their lives. Heck, at one point, Professor X was secretly expressing his longing for the underage redhead. Now, it’s Scott turn to surreptitiously pine for “how gorgeous her lips are…how silken her hair is.” And get this! Jean secretly feels the same way about HIM. I’m all for soap opera, but this one feels a bit forced.

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Posted in Captain America, Doctor Strange, Fantastic Four, Giant-Man, Hulk, Human Torch, Iron Man, Meanwhile, Sgt. Fury, Spider-Man, Strange Tales, Tales of Suspense, Tales to Astonish, Thor, Wasp, X-Men | 5 Comments

AVENGERS #10: BS

Published: November, 1964

Published: November, 1964

“The Avengers Break Up!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Don Heck
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Sam Rosen

As I read this installment of The Avengers, it struck me that this story is completely overloaded with BS. You know what I mean by BS, and I hope you also know I don’t say this in derision (well…mostly not in derision). Some of it’s the kind of BS the publisher feels is necessary to get folks to plop down their twelve cents, and some of it is the kind that moves the story from Point A to Point B. I’m okay with all that. In addition, some of it is the BS that defines characters, and I’m okay with that too.

What I’m not okay with is the BS that defines the sexist '60’s…but that was a long time ago, so what can I do about it now, except gripe? If I had the power of the Enchantress and could turn back time to revisit 1964, maybe I would…but really, what good would it do? The past is the past, and thank God it’s over and we can move forward. But before moving forward, let’s take a moment to review all the BS Marvel dished out in “The Avengers Break Up.”

BS: “THE AVENGERS BREAK UP”
Okay, let’s start with the title. The Avengers Break Up. Now, I love soap opera in comics just as much as the next person (or, possibly, even more) but even I think this title is over the top.

What does it mean? I’m sure most people, like me, consider “break up” the angsty dissolution of a romantic relationship. Which is utterly ridiculous in the case of the Avengers. So then, why was that term used? Did it mean something different in 1964? Or was Stan simply playing with expectations, saying something outrageous to make the comic book audience sit up and take notice?
[slideshow_deploy id=’8602′] But that’s only half the problem. Sure, it’s not the dissolution of a romance, but what we have here is not even close to the termination of a working relationship. When Hulk decided he no longer wanted to be an Avenger and struck out on his own, that was more of a “break up” than this. Here, when Cap misunderstands something, he goes off his nut for a short period of time and challenges his buddies. But very quickly, he realizes how wrong he was, and apologizes, and everything is hunky-dory once again in Avengerland. No one is “broken up.”

BS: IMMORTUS IS A TRULY DIFFERENT VILLAIN
Immortus is described first as “a truly different villain,” and then as the Master of Time, the one who rules the mystic realm of Limbo, where things never change. His specialties are manipulating time and providing historic combatants. But haven’t we seen this before?

BS: THE OTHER AVENGERS TOGETHER CAN’T DEFEAT CAPTAIN AMERICA
Since Cap is the only one of them without superpowers, we have an introductory bit of the other Avengers attempting to wrangle him. The 47-second effort is punctuated with a a10togetherheartfelt “You might at least BREATHE HARD to make us feel better!” To which I say: BS.

Sure, I understand Cap is the newest Avenger, so extreme efforts are being made to make him feel welcome and powerful, but for me this whole scene smacks of patronizing overkill. Sort of like when you let your kindergarten nephew beat you at checkers and then exclaim how skilled and intelligent he is.

On the plus side, it’s annoyed me in the past when the male members of the Fantastic Four have gone out of their way to explain why Sue’s girlie powers are just as valid as their own (How can we ever forget Reed’s impassioned speech about Abraham Lincoln’s mother?), so now it’s refreshing to see the same sort of overcompensation being practiced on the male sex.

BS: RICK JONES DESERVES TO BE AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE AVENGERS
Early in the story, Iron Man suggests they make Rick Jones an “official” member of the Avengers and give him “some sort of uniform.” Considering the audience, I understand why Stan would want to install an average teenage boy as an Avenger. The readers would eat it up! But why in the world would the Avengers even consider such a thing?

Why? Because Rick’s THERE? Because he’s the leader of the Teen Brigade? Because he’s Cap’s little buddy? Rick’s doing a bang-up job with the Teen Brigade, let him stay where his contributions are most appropriate and appreciated. He does not have superpowers, he doesn’t even have exceptional human strength; he has no business being an Avenger. Unless we want to totally water down what it means to be an Avenger. Do we want to do that? No.

Your little nephew’s team might lose in a game of pee-wee football, and yet he still brings home a trophy for “participation.” Let’s get Rick Jones something like that, rather than putting him in harm’s way and destroying the integrity of the Avengers.

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BS: RICK JONES DESERVES TO BE AN AVENGER…JUST LIKE THE WASP
As if it’s not bad enough that Iron Man would even begin to suggest Rick Jones become an Avenger, he qualifies his argument with some reasoning I find truly offensive: he suggests Rick Jones’ membership should be made “OFFICIAL, as the Wasp’s is.”

What??

Why is he comparing Rick to the Wasp? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Wasp a superhero, with, y’know, super-powers?

What if Iron Man were to say “Why don’t we make Rick’s membership in the Avengers OFFICIAL, as THOR’S is…”? Would that fly? Never! I don’t understand why Wasp is being referred to as a second class citizen. Is Iron Man belittling her contribution because she’s tiny? Or because she’s a woman? Or, is it maybe Tony Stark’s voice coming out from behind that Iron Mask, revealing the playboy’s philosophy that women are only good for one thing?

a10youtooBS: RICK JONES FALLS FOR THE OLD “YOU TOO CAN HAVE SUPERPOWERS…AND IT WILL COST YOU ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!”
Rick Jones sees an ad on the back of a comic book saying “You can obtain Super Powers, Send No Money” and falls for it immediately, no questions asked. Why?

  1. Because he’s a teenager
  2. Because he’s a teenager in the Marvel Universe
  3. Because he’s a teenager in the Marvel Universe who so badly wants to be an Avenger
  4. Because he’s a teenager in the 1960’s, so he unequivocally believes that if something is in PRINT, it MUST be true

BS: CAP CORRECTLY JUMPS TO THE CONCLUSION THAT IMMORTUS’ BOGUS AD WAS PLACED SPECIFICALLY TO LURE RICK JONES
When Cap sees the ad, he recognizes it’s bogus, which actually struck me as odd, because you would think Cap, a product of the 1940’s, would be even more gullible than the kids of the 1960’s. But he’s wearing big boy pants now, and resolutely refuses to be swayed by offers too good to be true, even if they are in print. (Maybe the FF should hire Cap to screen all the incoming mail at the Baxter Building.)

capppSo, Cap starts off smartly, but then immediately jumps to the conclusion that the ad was placed specifically so Rick would answer it. Of course, in this case, it happens to be true, but doesn’t it seem a little too “The World Revolves Around Me” to make that assumption?

Oh well, I guess when you’re Captain America, perhaps more often than not, the world does revolve around you.

BS: CAP BELIEVES THAT IF A SUPER-VILLAIN SAYS IT, IT MUST BE TRUE
So far, Cap’s BS meter has been working at full tilt. But it gets all out of whack when he talks directly to Immortus, who claims the Avengers revealed to him that the best way to aggravate Cap was by kidnapping “the boy.” It just so happens that Immortus knows this because he’s been secretly watching the Avengers to find out how they tick. But after gleaning this information, he creates some elaborate BS with the sole intention of ticking off Captain America. And it works.

liar_liar_pants_on_fireWhy? Maybe Cap hasn’t dealt with enough super-villains to realize they’re a bunch of LIARS, not to be trusted. Or could it be he’s simply looking for someone to blame, and jumps at the first suggestion, no matter who makes it? Cap is thinking emotionally here, not rationally, and it gets him in trouble.

BS: HISTORICAL FIGURES MAKE GREAT COMBATANTS…UNLESS YOU’RE A GIRL
As I mentioned before, this is not the first time we’ve seen historical figures in Marvel Comics. They come with established back stories, so there’s no need to spend a lot of time on character revelation or development. Let’s just get straight to the action!

It’s a natural that Immortus pits Giant-Man against Goliath, but in the end, Henry Pym’s smarts win out over size. Iron Man fights Merlin the Magician in an epic battle of technology vs. magic, then Thor takes on Hercules, ultimately proving that the cape is mightier than the loin cloth.

a10historicalWasp, however, doesn’t get a chance to fight a historical figure on her own, proving that either a) Immortus does not consider her a true Avenger, or b) Stan Lee does not consider her a true Avenger. Ummmmm…. BS!

Of course, later in the story, Wasp distracts the Enchantress, breaking the spell over Giant-Man and saving his giant you-know-what. So! Seems Wasp has something to contribute after all. But it all just sort of happens as an aside, not a main event.

BS: TIME TRAVEL SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS
As a final retreat from battle, the Enchantress casts a spell to go back “a few days in the past,” before they met Immortus. She reverts the clock for herself and her band of evildoers, but also for the Avengers. (One must assume time has also been turned back for THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, but that’s completely beside the point.) The important thing here is that the Avengers are not aware they’ve been sent back in time, and are stupidly reliving discussions that should have never taken place the first time around.

I don’t like this. Not only because we once again have to hear Iron Man say, “Why don’t we make his membership in the Avengers OFFICIAL, as the Wasp’s is?” but also because I feel at least THOR, as a god, should be aware of what’s happened. Do none of them, in their combined arsenal of superpowers, possess a keener than average sense of déjà vu?

The band of evildoers, however, are aware that time is repeating itself. They remember that they failed the first time, and when Immortus reaches out to them anew, there’s a resigned sense of “Oh no! Not this again!”
a10timetravelI’m not a fan of the time-loop theory, except in the classically delightful movie Groundhog Day. Of course, in that story, Bill Murray finally discovers what he needs to do to break the loop.

With this in mind, I believe Marvel Comics will eventually figure out how to make The Avengers better. We can’t go back in time and change this story; we just have to live with it the way it is. But there are many decades of comics yet to come, keeping alive the hope that someday the Marvel Universe will be more fair, and make more sense.

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Posted in Avengers | 2 Comments

Meanwhile…: October, 1964

STRANGE TALES #125

st125The Sub-Mariner Must Be Stopped!
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Dick Ayers
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
Thing and Torch are livid when two reporters show up to interview not them, but Reed and Sue. When Sub-Mariner is spotted heading for NY, their bruised egos lead them to tackle Namor on their own. The usual shenanigans ensue, until Reed and Sue show up and Namor makes a quick exit. Reed reveals Namor was coming to discuss a peace settlement; Sue reveals the reporters were planning a surprise article about Torch and Thing. Believing the whole thing was a trap, Namor is now even more wary of the Four.

WHAT’S HOT
ASBESTOS RUG. I continue to be amazed at the number of everyday items in Johnny Storm’s world that just happen to be made of asbestos.

BAH! Namor gets in a good “Bah!” on the bottom of page five, and again in the middle of page six. It’s good to see the classics haven’t gone out of style…at least not yet.

WHAT’S NOT
I’M FROM THE NEWSPAPER AND I’M HERE TO INTERVIEW YOU. Why are they still opening the front door for just anyone who says they’re with the press? Are their egos so big they lose all sense of caution when faced with the thrill of publicity? Haven’t they learned anything yet from their past experiences?

CAN YOU SAY…CW? Isn’t Johnny still in high school? Then why is he drawn like he’s 29? Could it be that artist Dick Ayers is simply anticipating an eventual CW adaptation of the Fantastic Four?

HELP! IT’S KELP! It’s hard to imagine Thing could be bound with kelp, no matter how strong the strands. It’s also hard to imagine he needs Torch to boil the kelp like spaghetti to soften it. I understand we’re going for a sense of teamwork, but this plot contrivance comes under the heading of “trying too hard.”

TALK TO ME. In the end, Reed reveals Namor was coming to smoke the peace pipe, and Johnny and Thing RUINED it for the rest of society. Well, maybe if Reed had bothered to communicate and share this information, none of this would have happened. So once again…it’s all Reed’s fault.

NOT SURE…
SPANKING, ANYONE? Thing always wants to spank someone. Is this compulsion a part of the recent cosmic ray treatment, or does Ben Grimm secretly (or not-so-secretly) also enjoy administering a good spanking now and then?

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st125splash“Mordo Must Not Catch Me!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Steve Ditko
Inks: George Bell
Letters: Art Simek

Once again, Mordo uses threat of harm against the Ancient One to draw Dr. Strange into magical battle. And once again, Strange prevails, and the Ancient One is spared. Ho hum…why do we care? Because it’s not so much the story as the telling that makes this an exciting piece of comic literature.

“SOME OF THE LANGUAGE IN HERE JUST SLAYS ME”
As I worked my way through the multiple overstuffed word balloons and narrations, I began to hear the majestic voice of James Earl Jones as the off-screen narrator, Christopher Lee as Mordo…and still trying to figure out who provides the voice of our hero, Dr. Strange. (Could it be Cumberbatch? If you have any suggestions, please comment below.)

So now, without further ado, I provide for your enjoyment a list of the descriptive and grandiose language and phrases that elevate this story to the epic proportions that seem almost inappropriate for such a humble medium as a 12-cent comic book.

Read slowly, and carefully, and as you do, if you can imagine the booming enunciations of Mr. Jones and Mr. Lee, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about.

  • Omnipotent
  • Fraught
  • Impregnable
  • Begone!
  • Esoteric epic
  • Eerie enigma
  • Mental emanations
  • Venerable mentor
  • Sanctum Sanctorum
  • Behold
  • Blunder
  • Hapless
  • Plight
  • Vanquished
  • Half-hidden jungle
  • Hidden haven
  • Irrevocable error
  • His avenging arch-enemy
  • Inviolable

And now some phrases:

  • “anxious to hurl all his dark and diabolical power against his eternal enemy”
  • “I am hampered by no such senseless fears”
  • “Fleeing to the calm countryside …is a useless maneuver”
  • “But still the silent fugitive continues his seemingly meaningless flight”
  • “I shall hurl your taunts back into your teeth”
  • “The surging awesome energy of my amulet, growing ever brighter—ever stronger—until it reaches the peak of its power and defeats you with its unbearable intensity!”
  • “See how your shield continues to shatter”
  • “Naught remains to mark the mystic battle”

And naught remains to be said about the telling of “Mordo Must Not Catch Me.” It’s sheer poetry. Period.

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JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #109

jim109“When Magneto Strikes!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
Magneto sends his minions to locate the X-Men, then creates a magnetic disorder in the city, which causes Thor to investigate and locate his hidden submarine. When Magneto cannot persuade the Thunder God to join him, they fight. Thor carelessly loses his hammer and, as Blake, is almost killed; but when Magneto is distracted by a message that his crew is being pursued by the X-Men, Blake finds his cane, and as Thor once again, forces Magneto to retreat. Later, Jane forgives Blake for breaking their date and serves him a sandwich and glass of milk.

WHAT’S HOT
THE MARVELOUS HALL OF HEROES. The story begins with a nondescript gentleman showing Thor a collection of super-hero statues on display at the World’s Fair. Stan’s really been getting his money’s worth out of this World’s Fair. This is not the first time the event has figured in the Marvel Universe. (By the way, I also think it’s amusing there are no DC super-heroes on display at the World’s Fair… )

jim109subSHE SAID…WHAT??? As Magneto’s evil band of mutants boards the craft that will propel them on their mission to locate the X Men, Wanda remarks that it will be a relief to get away from “that evil creature,” obviously referring to Magneto. In fact, a moment later Toad triumphantly sneers, “I’ll tell Magneto what you said!” But…but…Magneto is standing RIGHT THERE during the entire exchange! So, what is Toad going to tell him that he doesn’t already know? Fact is, Magneto doesn’t seem to care one whit about any of it. As he declares in the very next panel, “I ask not for friendship or love…all I demand is fear, and blind obedience!” What a marvelous moment showing each so thoroughly in character.

PURPOSE AND CONFIDENCE. On page 18, Magneto remarks “I was BORN to rule mankind!” Once again, completely in character. This is precisely how Magneto sees himself—not so much as a villain, but more as divinely appointed to a spectacular destiny.

READY FOR ANYTHING. Only a villain the caliber of Magneto would just happen to have a thermo-nuclear proton bomb in the basement of his submarine.

NEXT TIME IN MARVEL COMICS…The X-Men make a near-cameo appearance—we hear of them hot on Magneto’s trail, and see Bobby’s ice envelop the bomb, then a mysterious craft with only an X painted on the side makes an exit, stage left. But outside of Angel’s shadow and Beast’s hands, we never see the X-Men themselves. Curious choice, because the X-Men could have made an appearance, but for some reason it seems Stan wants to keep the meeting of Thor and the X-Men for a later date. A wise decision, if you ask me. We have decades and decades of Marvelous Meetings to get through; let’s save a little for later.

YOU LOOK…MARVELOUS! At home and out of her dowdy nurse’s uniform, Jane appears as an extremely shapely female in her slacks and tight top. But her shirt seems to have some sort of mysterious yellow emblem emblazoned on the chest, which leads me to wonder…could Jane ALSO be a super-heroine in her spare time, keeping a huge secret from her dear doctor?

WHAT’S NOT
TESTING…ONE TWO THREE… Why does Magneto cause that brief magnetic disturbance? It doesn’t do any real super-villain harm for the few seconds he has all the metal objects suspended in space, but surely he should have realized such actions could bring him to the attention of a meddlesome do-gooder. It’s almost like he was looking for a fight. Or…realizing that his band of evil mutants are more like a motley crew of misfits, was this his latest recruitment strategy for new potential minions?

CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. Magneto says, “Nothing can get past my magnetic repellor field,” and in fact he is able to hold back Thor’s hammer long enough to cause trouble for our hero. But later, Thor informs Magneto, “My mallet’s uru energy can draw the magnetic field from you.” Well, which is it? Which is greater—Magneto’s magnetic power, or the mallet’s uru energy?

HI, HONEY, I’M HOME! After Thor’s job is done, it appears that Blake gives a perfunctory knock on Jane’s apartment door, then bursts right in. Did I miss a soap opera development, or does he already have a key to her place? (Disturbing mom-points to Jane for adding a glass of milk to the ham and cheese sandwich.)

jim109splash“Banished From Asgard!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Vince Colletta
Letters: Sam Rosen

When Thor is banished from Asgard for fighting a duel against Odin’s wishes, Loki’s cousin “Arkin the Weak” reports the news to Knorda, “normal-sized queen of the mountain giants,” on whom he has a giant-sized crush. The beautiful queen, a Farrah Fawcett blonde clad In pink armor, gathers her army to attack Thor. Thor leads the giants into a tiny cave, trapping them. Odin and Thor enjoy a good laugh about it later, revealing that Thor’s “banishment” was nothing more than a ruse to ferret out the traitor, Arkin the Weak.

And the moral of this story is: never trust a minion whose moniker includes the words “The Weak,” or fall for a woman who looks way too beautiful in her fashionable pink battle armor.

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TALES OF SUSPENSE #58

tos58“In Mortal Combat With Captain America!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Don Heck
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
The Chameleon impersonates Captain America, convincing Iron Man that HE is the real Cap, while there is another Cap out there who is actually the Chameleon. Iron Man finds and fights the real Captain America. Pepper and Happy track them to a construction power station, where the two ordinary humans are put in peril of cement dust, steam shovel and sand pit. When Cap saves Happy, Iron Man realizes he’s been fighting the real Avenger. Giant-Man and Wasp show up with the Chameleon, and Iron Man chides himself for being careless.

WHAT’S HOT
HONESTLY NOW. There’s a bit of refreshing honesty on the cover with the question of why Iron Man and Captain America are battling each other. “Mainly to get you to buy this mag!” The blurb goes on to say, “If we can’t always by clever, we can at least be honest.” I beg to differ. It’s incredibly clever to respect the readers’ ability to understand and appreciate how the comics business works.

DISHONESTLY NOW. Super-strength, invisibility, control of the elements—all keen and commanding superpowers, but perhaps none are as dangerous as a villain’s ability to turn perception on its ear. I may have pooh-poohed the Chameleon in the past but now I’m beginning to see how deception can be the greatest superpower of all.

WHAT’S NOT
STYLE FAUX PAS I. When Pepper is drenched, her hair falls flat, much to her dismay, though she’s just moved twenty years into the future by inventing the 1980’s “Gypsy” or “Mullet.”

STYLE FAUX PAS II. On the other hand, there is no possible way to explain or redeem Happy’s carnival jacket.

tos58splash“The Watcher Must Die!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: George Tuska
Letters: Art Simek

When Warlord Wrogg attacks the Watcher, the toga-ed one uses a small fraction of his power for self-defense, speeding up the aging process for Wrogg and his Marshal, but allowing the blameless soldiers to escape. Why does this story even exist, except as a warm-up for newly re-hired artist George Tuska, who is introduced on the splash with much fanfare?

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TALES TO ASTONISH #60

tta60“The Beasts of Berlin!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Dick Ayers
Inks: Paul Reinman
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Pym travels to East Berlin to rescue captured friend Lee Kearns. As Ant-Man, he scales the wall and arrives undetected in Kearn’s prison cell. After German ants attack and cause the guard to flee, Kearn tells Pym of a ray gun the Reds use to make gorillas as intelligent as humans. As both Ant and Giant, Pym finds the ray gun, fights the gorillas, then turns the ray on the Reds, reducing them to gorilla demeanor. Finally, he captures the gorillas, destroys the ray gun and breaks pal Kearns out of prison.

WHAT’S HOT
ACTION PACKED. An awful lot happens in a mere 14 pages, and Pym has the chance to shine as both Ant-Man and Giant-Man. Some superheroes work well as a team; Pym works best when he teams up his two alter-egos.

WHAT’S NOT
TELL ME A STORY. For the first time, Hank tells Jan the sad story of how he lost his Hungarian bride Maria to the Reds. Jan is moved to tears, understanding him better, but the retelling doesn’t add anything we didn’t already know. In fact, I come away more confused than ever, wondering why Maria is pictured first as a redhead, and in the very next panel, as a blonde.

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tta60splash“The Incredible Hulk”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Steve Ditko
Inks: George Bell
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
At an air force missile range in the southwestern US, Dr. Bruce Banner builds a larger than life robot able to withstand an atomic blast, but it is hijacked by a spy before testing. Hulk finds he cannot defeat the indestructible robot, which escapes into the desert. Banner offers to build another robot to destroy the first, but General Ross refuses. Banner agonizes about his monster self, his failure as a scientist, and his love for Betty.

WHAT’S HOT
EAT THIS UP! On the splash, each contributor is labeled “Incredible,” until we get to the letterer, S. Rosen, who is “inedible.” I always enjoy the punchline on these creative descriptions, but for the first time I’m wondering who’s writing this stuff. Does Stan request it this way, or is the letterer having a little self-deprecatory fun?

EXISTENTIAL DILEMMA. Early on in the story, Banner asks himself a frank yet perturbing question: “Am I really Bruce Banner…or is the Hulk my true self?” Whoa! Heavy… (And you thought you were just reading comic books!)

WHAT’S NOT
YOU DON’T SAY…In the last panel, the narrator describes this new series as “the only comic mag superhero soap opera in existence.” Wait…what?? I know we want to give a giant boost to the new title, but there’s no need to do so at the expense of all the other superhero soap operas that have gone before!

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AVENGERS #9

a9“The Coming of the Wonder Man!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Don Heck
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
Bailed out by Zemo, embezzler Simon Williams undergoes a procedure that gives him all the powers of the Avengers—but he must obey Zemo to get the antidote that keeps him alive. As Wonder Man, he gains the Avengers’ confidence, then kidnaps Wasp to lure the others to Zemo’s gang. The Avengers are caught off-guard by Wonder Man’s treachery, but when Wonder Man realizes the error of his ways and aids them against Zemo, good triumphs over evil (though the villains escape). Without the antidote, Wonder Man dies…or does he?

WHAT’S HOT
GQ. Simon Williams face is even more chiseled than Tony Stark’s.

FASHION…BACKWARDS. But he thinks “Wonder Man” is a corny name and is not on board with having to wear a costume. Truthfully, I sympathize. But it’s the 1960’s Marvel Universe, so I guess When in Rome

DOES HE…OR DOESN’T HE? As Wonder Man dies on the last page, the narrator promises “new surprises” in the next issue. I have a hard time believing a character as powerful and conflicted as Wonder Man will come and go in only one issue. He may not be back immediately, but I look forward to his return…eventually.

WHAT’S NOT
OIL & WATER. Cap gets fighting mad as he hallucinates that he sees his old enemy Zemo. This is scary. Are superpowers and hallucinations a good combination?

STEP IT UP! A cultural reference is made to the dancing abilities of Fred Astaire. Now, in 2015, there remain a limited number of Fred Astaire fans in the world, and I’m high on that list. But in the mid 1960’s, was there no one else? How about the marvelous Gene Kelly? Or maybe the people reading comic books are not the same audience watching MGM musicals? Even in 1964, a Fred Astaire reference seems a bit dated. But then, I guess you can’t go wrong with the classics.

TRUE VILLANY. Zemo doesn’t tell Williams until AFTER the procedure that he’s doomed to die unless he gets a weekly antidote. Can you say “Medical Malpractice”?

ZZZZZZZ…When Wonder Man radios that he and Wasp have been captured by Zemo, why does Iron Man wait until the next day before setting out on a rescue mission? Maybe he’s catching up on all that sleep he missed at the end of Tales of Supsense #57?

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FANTASTIC FOUR #31

ff31“The Mad Menace of the Macabre Mole Man!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
Mole Man steals entire city blocks, causes earthquakes in NYC, and kidnaps Sue to draw the other three into a fight. After Reed convinces the Avengers to stay out of it for at least 24 hours, Torch burns through things, Mr. Fantastic stretches his superhero capabilities, and Thing gets in some good clobberin’ time. In the end, the heroes win, but as they depart, Sue is injured. Recently escaped from prison, surgeon Franklin Storm appears to save his daughter’s life.

WHAT’S HOT
STORM SR. Before this, it never occurred to me to ask questions about Johnny and Sue’s parentage. I assumed they were rich, successful socialites who happened to be off on an extended European vacation all this time. But apparently Reed thought Johnny and Sue were orphans, and he’s as shocked as the rest of us to meet Storm Sr. I’m shocked to learn that two do-gooders like Torch and the Invisible Girl could have a dad who’s been convicted of something-or-other. Gut feeling: when we learn more, it will turn out Dad had a very good reason for whatever it was he did that landed him in the slammer. If you know, don’t tell me! I want the surprises to keep coming.

WHAT’S NOT
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. Mole Man is at it again, up to all kinds of mischief. As Reed attempts to negotiate a hostage release agreement, he asks “What is it you’re after?” and Mole Man replies, “The same thing I’ve EVER been after…conquest of the surface world!” He’s really a very simple fellow, single-minded…and predictable. The action unfolds exactly as expected, ho hum, haven’t we seen this before? In this story, surely Mole Man’s aspirations are nothing more than a familiar backdrop to the introduction of the unpredicted parent.

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sgtf11

Posted in Avengers, Doctor Strange, Fantastic Four, Giant-Man, Hulk, Human Torch, Iron Man, Meanwhile, Sgt. Fury, Strange Tales, Tales of Suspense, Tales to Astonish, Thor, Wasp | 5 Comments