AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #17: Why We Do What We Do

Published: October, 1964

Published: October, 1964

“The Return of the Green Goblin!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: Sam Rosen

Comics can be heavily plotted with jam-packed action sequences, but if that’s all they offer (first this happens, then that, then this, and finally the good guy wins), the formula gets tired fast, and I’ll stop reading. But fortunately, the more I read Marvel Comics, the more I realize I don’t care half as much WHAT happens as WHY it happens, and the more intrigued I grow by the ever expanding cast of characters, each with their peculiar and sometimes hidden agendas.

The inner working of these complex characters and their complex web of relationships proves far more fascinating than the capabilities of Tony Stark’s latest technological gizmo or the upcoming match-up of amazing superpowers. What will happen the next time Dr. Strange encounters Baron Mordo? Get out of my way! I’m waiting to find out what happens the next time Liz Allan and Betty Brant run into each other on the street!

As if a conflicted teen superhero isn’t enough, the rich supporting cast in the Spider-Man series raises the soap opera bar to unbelievable heights. If their mundane concerns do not supersede poor Peter’s varied dilemmas, they at least greatly add to the overall drama. Sure, Spidey and Green Goblin tangle once again, but that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

See if you don’t agree, as we now consider the goals, motivations and plans of each character, as well as the numerous complications that so easily topple all those good (and bad) intentions.

It all begins when FLASH THOMPSON wants to spearhead a Spider-Man Fan Club and invite everyone…except puny Peter Parker. Why? To honor Spider-Man, “the greatest guy in the world,” and also to humiliate Parker.

asm17lizBut, there’s a complication. Girlfriend LIZ ALLAN wants to find a way to get Petey into the club after all! Why? Both because she likes him (or at least feels sorry for him), but also because she’s had just about enough of Flash’s bullying.

So what does she do? She gets Dad to provide an outstanding venue for the meeting, then blackmails Flash with “Unless Petey is invited to the meeting, I’ll tell my father not to let you use his dinner club!”

What does MR. ALLAN hope to get out of all this? He’s not a very complicated character. He’s a good father…and a good businessman. He wants his daughter to be popular with her high school friends, but by his own admission, he’s also finagling good publicity for his dinner club.

So it’s all set up! The entire HIGH SCHOOL GANG is looking forward to a good time at a fancy dinner club for the premiere meeting of the Spider-Man Fan Club! They hope to see Spider-Man in action. And why? Because they’re teenagers who live in a world populated by superheroes. ‘Nuff said.

But a kink develops in their fun evening of fan-based entertainment. In the middle of what they all believe to be Spider-Man’s exhibition show with the Green Goblin, Spidey runs off “like a scared rabbit!” What’s going on? They all assume he’s “chicken” and should “go jump in a lake!”

asm17dorrieJOHNNY STORM is also in attendance, with current flame, DORIS EVANS. Doris’ goal in this story is to have a normal night out with her boyfriend (here, the word “normal” means “without him flying off into his Human Torch routine”).

Why? You know, I can’t figure this one out. You’d think Doris would enjoy having a boyfriend who’s more popular than the captain of the football team. But then again…maybe she doesn’t want all the other girls crushing on her guy? Maybe she’s not really that secure in their relationship. Or maybe she’s simply being super-conventional.

To get what she wants, Doris warns Johnny to behave himself, before the festivities even get started. And he agrees.

But…there’s a complication. At some point, Johnny realizes the Spidey-Goblin show is “no act”—it’s a real fight! So he flames on and flies in to help.

To her credit, when it’s all over, Doris decides she’s not angry. She’s proud. (I think I’m starting to like this girl, at least a little.)

asm17torchAs for Johnny, he wants to please his girlfriend. Why? Again, this relationship mystifies me, but Doris is sort of a looker, so let’s just put it down to hormones.

At the same time, though, you know he’ll jump at the slightest chance to put in an appearance as TORCH. Why? Well, if you could spontaneously combust and not burn up, wouldn’t you want everyone in the world to think that you’re as groovy as you know you are?

Torch is all about do-gooding, but probably equally interested in furthering the adoration of his fans (as we saw earlier, when he was handing out unsolicited autographs). So, when he realizes Spidey and Goblin are really fighting, his desire to please Doris is superseded by his desire to burst into his superhero act.

SOME RANDOM THUGS show up to rob the cashier’s safe at the dinner club. Why? Because they’re thugs; that’s what thugs do. But why are they here, at this time, in this story? No particular reason, I guess, except to add to the general confusion of everything already going on.

But wait! you say. There’s not that much going on. But wait! I say. We’re just getting to the juicy stuff.

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BETTY BRANT wants to further her relationship with boyfriend Peter Parker. Above all else, she fervently desires to keep him away from high school tart Liz Allan. Why? Because she love Peter and doesn’t take kindly to the possibility of any other females partaking of his boyish charms.

So what does she do? Oh, this is interesting! She disobeys a direct order from her boss, J. Jonah Jameson, by neglecting to tell Peter he’s been assigned to take pictures at the Spider-Man Fan Club meeting. Betty figures if Peter is not there, “that blonde bandit” Liz Allan won’t be able to get her hands all over him.

asm17hairAnd everything seems to be going well in that department, but then suddenly…

There’s a complication! Guess what? Turns out Peter has come to the meeting after all, and what’s worse, he’s with Liz, and what’s worse than that, Liz is running her fingers through Peter’s hair!

This is more than Betty can bear. She breaks down in tears and vows never to trust Peter again.

asm17jjjJ. JONAH JAMESON is in attendance as well. As always, his plan is to discredit Spider-Man. Why? As we learned in ASM 10, Jameson secretly envies Spider-Man for being “brave, powerful and unselfish” and feels the only way he can make himself look better is by cutting Spider-Man down. That, and he’ll also do anything to sell more newspapers.

So what does he do? He shows up at the fan club meeting, with no real plan (“Bah! If only I could dream up some way to SPOIL this corny show of his!”), but is fortuitously given the opportunity to skip away in glee when the turn of events provides the headline: “Spider-Man the Chicken!”

Jameson doesn’t know why Spider-Man has turned chicken, and he doesn’t care. On the other hand, the readers know, and care. And it’s a lot more complex than anyone at the fan club meeting might imagine.

asm17senseAs for SPIDER-MAN, he wants to repair his public image. Why? Earlier, he blundered into a movie shoot, breaking up a “heist” by a gang of costumed actors, and Jameson jumped all over this “bonehead mistake.” In response, Spider-Man decides to perform at the meeting so he can make a good impression, and hopefully put an end to people calling him a buffoon.

He also wants to find out why his spider-sense is tingling in the crowd.

In comparison, alter-ego PETER PARKER hosts a much more complicated array of personal issues.

Let’s get the simple stuff out of the way first.

Peter wants AUNT MAY to stop nagging him to go on a blind date with Mary Jane Watson. No matter how many times Peter tells Aunt May he’s already got a girlfriend, she insists on trying to arrange it. (We can only imagine Aunt May is motivated by a domestically blissful fantasy of her nephew and the neighbor’s niece getting married and moving into a house across the street, a la Everybody Loves Raymond, only without all the constant comedic bickering.)

Now, more importantly: Peter wants to invite Betty to the Spider-Man meeting, but that desire is superseded by his desire to appear as Spider-Man. (In the end, he doesn’t invite Betty, and she wonders why, assuming it has something to do with Liz.)

Speaking of Liz, when she notices that Peter and Spider-Man are never seen at the same time, Peter’s need for superhero secrecy supersedes his desire to fight the Green Goblin. (Luckily Torch steps in, so Spidey can slip away and put in a quick appearance as Peter.)

asm17asmSPIDER-MAN wants to beat Green Goblin, but that desire is superseded by the need to run to the hospital to make sure Aunt May is all right, after she suffers another heart attack. So, in the end, Peter decides that being unable to capture the Green Goblin, becoming “Public Heel #1 practically overnight,” and hurting Betty’s feelings in a fiasco of misconstrued jealousy pale in comparison to the possibility of losing Aunt May, “the one person who’s been kinder to me than anyone else in my whole life.” Nothing like a health crisis to put everything in perspective.

But what of our villain? Of all the characters in this soap opera, GREEN GOBLIN presents himself as the most single-minded. He wants to defeat Spider-Man. Period. That’s his only motivation. When Torch interferes, Goblin temporarily shifts his focus to getting rid of Torch…but only so he can once again turn his full attention to Spider-Man. And when he sees that Spider-Man is out of the picture, rather than continue to fight Torch, he simply leaves.

We don’t yet know who the Green Goblin really is, but I have a feeling he could end up being a fairly complex character. In this tale, he’s simply the bad guy who wants to defeat the good guy. In the future, this villain may not be that simple to figure out.

asm17goblinThere’s one more motivation to consider, and this one is not all all difficult to figure out. Writer STAN LEE clearly states his agenda on the splash: convince the readers that this issue of The Amazing Spider-Man is “certain to be discussed…by Spidey fans throughout the free world for a long time to come!”

Well, that was over fifty years ago, and guess what? Here I am, discussing it. So even though Spider-Man, Peter Parker, and the entire cast of characters in and around Midtown High School may not always get the results they’re hoping for, the readers of this issue most certainly do…that is, if the motivation is to enjoy a heavily plotted comic story jam-packed not only with action sequences, but all the soap opera that can possibly fit into 22 pages!

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Meanwhile…: September, 1964

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #16

asm16“Duel with Daredevil”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: Sam Rosen

IN A NUTSHELL
The Ringmaster promises Spider-Man will appear at his next circus performance. His real plan is to draw a crowd, which he and his Circus of Crime cronies will rob blind, once he has them hypnotized. But he doesn’t count on the real Spider-Man showing up, or Matt Murdock being in the audience. Since he’s blind, Murdock cannot be hypnotized, and dons his Daredevil duds. At first, he and Spidey fight, but then Daredevil grabs the Ringmaster’s hat, releasing Spider-Man from the spell. They take care of the bad guys, who are carted off to jail.

WHAT’S HOT
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS. In the past, Spider-Man’s had some trouble relating to other superheroes, particularly his high school peer, Johnny Storm. But he and Daredevil hit it off right away, forming a mutual admiration society. It’s good to see that Spider-Man doesn’t always act like a jerk in the presence of other superheroes. Also, this opens the door for more tag-team antics.

NAG, NAG, NAG! Peter complains about Aunt May constantly nagging him to call that nice Mary Jane Watson. It’s a good comedy bit that we keep hearing about Mary Jane, but haven’t yet met her. The readers of the day surely had no idea if they ever would, and may have imagined all kinds of potential developments. I wonder which is more fun—1960’s speculation about Mary Jane, or my unique perspective of knowing she’ll become a major player, but not knowing the exact moment of her debut.

WHAT’S NOT
COLOR ME…NO, ON SECOND THOUGHT, DON’T. In the reprint I read, the splash informs us that this comic mag is colored by B. Sharen, “Caliph of Captivating Color.” I’ll say! On the next page we’re treated to the jarring image of teenaged Peter Parker in a fuschia suit with creamsicle-colored sweater. No wonder the kids at school pick on him!

YEAH, THAT’S THE TICKET! When Peter decides he’ll attend the circus as Spider-Man, he buys a ticket. Now, why on earth would he need a ticket? There’s only one good explanation: so he can accidentally drop it in front of Betty while turning down her offer of a homemade dinner (“I just found the greatest recipe for spaghetti!”) The insecure Betty jumps to the conclusion that Peter must be taking another girl to the circus, and Peter has no good explanation. Being a secret superhero has its own set of peculiar drawbacks, but he’s certainly not helping himself by buying a completely superfluous ticket, then dropping it at the most inopportune moment. As Spider-Man, he swings from skyscraper to skyscraper with unerring ease, but as Peter Parker, he flubs his grasp on a tiny piece of paper. Either Peter’s subconscious is working overtime to prepare Betty for some future revelation, or Stan simply felt the need to inject an extra dose of soap opera drama.

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STRANGE TALES #124

st124“Paste-Pot Pete”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Dick Ayers
Inks: Paul Reinman
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
The new and improved Paste-Pot Pete kidnaps Thing to lure Torch to his rented paste factory. Thing and Torch are glued to the wall…until Johnny figures out it’s easier to break the wall than the paste! Once Thing is free with huge boulders on his wrists, and Torch cuts Pete’s paste tube with a fiery dart, the villain caves and demands to be taken away by the police, rather than suffer the wrath of Thing. Johnny returns to his bowling date with Doris, who changes her mind about never wanting to see him again.

WHAT’S HOT
CONTINUITY. Remember way back in Avengers #6, when prisoner Paste-Pot Pete provided a super-dissolver as an antidote to Zemo’s Adhesive X? Now he’s paroled for his participation in the fight against evil! Of course, Pete cares nothing about fighting evil. He’s still up to no good! He simply worked the system for his own advantage. But panache points for perfect use of continuity between titles.

WHAT NOT TO WEAR. Even Paste-Pot Pete himself admits he’s been “more CLOWN than serious menace” in the past. So immediately upon his release from prison, he treats himself to a full makeover! His new broad-shouldered costume, in villainously stylish shades of purple and green, is lighter, with cleaner lines, and a whole new set of utilitarian accessories. Not only that, but he’s lost the old man goatee, and is now sporting a mod 1964 Beatles haircut. I DARE you to laugh at Pete now!!

WHAT’S NOT
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD. Why would anyone rent a GLUE FACTORY to Paste Pot Pete? That can’t possibly turn out well.

A STICKY SITUATION. I’m not sure how Pete’s paste continues sticking when he needs it to (hold his adversary to the wall) yet stops sticking when it’s most convenient for his plans (boots and gloves allow him to cling to and release from any surface). Does he use different kinds of paste for each situation? Here we learn of an elastic paste that Pete uses like a rope or bungee cord, and “Stick-em,” which gums up the dashboard of the Fantasticar. Of course he’s also invented an “asbestos paste.” Why am I not surprised?

FICKLE DEAREST. When Johnny has to leave their bowling date for superhero business, Doris gets cranky and tells him she’s had it, don’t bother coming back. Well, she’s said that before, hasn’t she? And Johnny comes back, and they make up, and then we do it all over again. Doris is not my favorite Marvel gal (though she does look nice here in her pink bowling shirt). These two are in a truly unhealthy relationship pattern which I’d like to see broken. Johnny can do so much better than this!

GET THEE BEHIND ME, DEVIL! Johnny looks really weird with all those little flames coming out of him.

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st124thumb“The Lady From Nowhere”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: George Bell

IN A NUTSHELL
Strange finds a woman under a mystical spell and has the Ancient One send him back in time, where he vanquishes the powerful Zota. Strange squeezes back to his own time, then breaks the spell over Cleopatra, sending her back to her time.

WHAT’S HOT
GROOVY GALS. The artwork on the “Lady from Nowhere” is very nice. Recently, Tales of Suspense #55 featured bathing beauty Pepper Potts, and in this month’s Torch story, Doris looks quite fetching with her blue yet stylish hair. Are we finally trending towards more attractive females?

A MENTOR’S SORROW. When the Ancient One thinks Strange will be trapped in the past forever, he breaks down. “Have I trained him so long…have I taught him so much…have I loved him so deeply…only to lose him now?? I NEEDED him!” I know Strange is the favorite for succeeding the Ancient One, but the elder’s admission of love and need fleshes out the bond between these two super sorcerers like nothing I’ve yet seen.

WHAT’S NOT
NOT VICTORIA. The splash puts forth the question: “Can you guess the identity of the lady from nowhere?” I was hoping for Victoria Bentley from ST 114, so I was disappointed this was not her next appearance.

NOT AGAIN! I was also disappointed that the lady from nowhere turned out to be Cleopatra. Haven’t we seen Cleopatra in Marvel comics before? Iron Man had a dalliance with her in Tales of Suspense #44. Are there no other great female historical figures to showcase?

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AVENGERS #8

a8“Kang, the Conqueror!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Dick Ayers

IN A NUTSHELL
When the Avengers are called in to deal with a threat from outer space, Kang reveals himself as a time traveler with plans to conquer the 20th century. He traps the Avengers with paralysis rays, but the Teen Brigade tricks their way onto the spaceship and frees the heroes. Wasp provides a Power Ray Gun, which disintegrates Kang’s technologically powered suit. In a last ditch effort, Kang releases a flood of radiation, but Thor uses Mjolnir to hurl the rays back at Kang, who runs away and escapes in his time-traveling spaceship.

WHAT’S HOT
SELL IT, STAN! On the cover, not only is Kang the Conqueror touted as “one of the most unique villains of all time,” but it’s also suggested his power may exceed that of all the Avengers combined! Follow with “Wait till you learn his surprising identity!!!” and who can possibly resist turning the page? I mean…what if Kang is actually Zarrko the Tomorrow Man?? (Don’t laugh. Apparently anything is possible. Read on.)

FACETIME. The Avengers meet with the Pentagon via closed-circuit TV, and are shown a video of a UFO taken by someone who just happened to be standing nearby with a “motion-picture camera.” Today, long-distance meetings and digital footage of every happening in news and entertainment has been streamlined and perfected, par for the course, but the technology employed in this 1964 comic no doubt caused readers of the day to gasp in awe. Kudos to the Marvel bullpen, visionaries in the same class as Gene Roddenberry and Arthur C. Clarke. However, it’s interesting to note that, in this newsprint medium, when “the incredible news about Kang is flashed,” the information appears as newspaper headlines, not TV news broadcasts.

I’M FROM THE FUTURE, AND I’M HERE TO… Kang was born “in the year 3000.” Are there any Conan fans in the audience? ‘Nuff said.

SPOILERS AHEAD. Well, finally! Instead of me being in danger of getting spoiled regarding future events in Marvel Comics, at last I have a chance to offer up some spoilers! The cover promises our super villain has a “surprising identity,” and within the pages of this story, I have discovered what it is! In case you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read the rest of this paragraph, which is hidden under anti-spoiler technology Russ has been able to apply (If you’re in Firefox, you may see some blurriness, or if you’re in Internet Explorer, there might be a big empty space. Hover over if you wish to learn Kang’s surprising identity!
(Spoiler: Kang is from the future and at one point, in FF 19, he was Rama Tut. And by the way, just this month, in Fantastic Four Annual #2, we learn that Rama Tut may also be Doctor Doom! So now you know!)

LET’S GET BIG! In the last couple of posts, I’ve made it clear I’m not on board with Giant-Man having the ability to change Jan’s size, simply by thinking about it. He does it here again, but this time I have no problem. Wasp is small, and about to be crushed by Kang’s mighty gloved hand, so in returning her to normal size, Giant-Man saves her life. As a rule, changing someone’s size at will is NOT a good thing; but as with all rules, there are exceptions.

CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN. Or, unmake him, in the case of Kang, who is significantly weakened after Giant-Man shoots him with a fabric-decaying solution. NOT what the well-dressed super-villain is wearing this season.

WHAT’S NOT
IF IT WEARS PANTS… There’s no reason in the world for Wasp to assume that Kang is “not bad-looking under that silly headgear.” The only purpose of this comment is for comedy, but at the same time, it shows she’s not taking the situation as seriously as “the boys.” Anyone who would look at Kang and assume him attractive is obviously a nymphomaniac.

DR. THOR. When Iron Man is weakened by the paralysis ray, Thor thinks, “As Dr. Blake, I see he has trouble breathing…it could be his heart!” Two things: first, I’d never before considered that Thor retains all Blake’s medical know-how, but obviously he does. Next: it’s not much of a diagnosis, but then, he’s got little to go on, no time for a thorough examination, never mind treatment, so I guess it’s better than nothing.

SECRET NO MORE? Or…could this be the beginning of the end for Iron Man’s secret identity? Does everyone know that Stark has a transistor in his heart? If so, maybe Blake/Thor will piece together the odd coincidence that both Stark and his bodyguard (who, incidentally, are never in the same place at the same time) suffer from the same physical ailment. Of course, even if he figures it out, the noble Thor will no doubt keep Stark’s secret. I’m just wondering if we might be heading in this direction.

LET’S GET SMALL! The Power Ray Gun is too heavy for Wasp to manage alone. So rather than getting some big strong man to help her, she shrinks down to Wasp size, and calls on several flying ants to assist in transporting the thing across town. Once again, in what universe does it make sense to get smaller and lighter when you have a heavy load to carry a great distance? Oh yeah, that’s right—the MARVEL Universe!

YOU SAY PHAROAH, I SAY PHARAOH…Oh, the heck with it! Who cares if it’s a spoiler, it’s not that big of a deal, anyway. Kang’s secret identity is revealed as “Pharoah Rama-Tut” whom the FF met in their issue #19. It’s a surprise, to be sure, though nowhere near as good as anything I’d been hoping for. I half-expected to find out J. Jonah Jameson has been moonlighting as a super-villain. Now THAT would have been worth the price of admission! Rama Tut is okay, but I need more to float my boat. And by the way, being from the future does not guarantee spotless spelling, whether it’s a matter of 3,000 years, or only a few months between comic book issues. Pharaoh is still spelled wrong.

WHO THE HELL IS RICK BROWN??? Oh, that’s right. He’s that kid who hangs out with Bob Banner.

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X-MEN #7

ux7“The Return of the Blob”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Art Simek

IN A NUTSHELL
The X-Men graduate, and Professor X puts Scott in charge, while he takes off for other pursuits. After some initial resistance, the Blob’s memory is jarred, and he joins Magneto’s band of Evil Mutants. Magneto challenges the X Men to a fight. All use their skills against the Blob, Quicksilver, and a barrage of torpedoes. In the end, Magneto is willing to sacrifice the Blob in order to kill the X-Men. No one dies, and the Blob rejoins the carnival, as Magneto and his Evil Mutants escape in the Magna-Car.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? I’m confused. If the X-Men have graduated, why aren’t they leaving the school?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? Just a wild guess, but one of those “unfinished tasks” for which Prof. X mysteriously departs must be improving his golf swing. He’s tried on the green jacket, and likes the way it looks. Can the Masters’ Tournament be in his future?

WHEN CAN WE GO? Scarlet Witch still feels beholden to Magneto for saving her life. At what point will she decide she’s paid her debt, so she and Pietro can “leave this dreadful band”? What do these two have to do to get out of this gig?

“GO, CAT, GO!” We’re treated to a whimsical touch of the 60’s when the X-Men party in Greenwich Village. The scene is “far out,” with poetry readings, unmelodic jazz, freestyle dancing and a fascination with Beast’s feet. As Beast observes, “Those far-out characters wouldn’t be inclined to suspect anything unless it were NORMAL!”

I’M GOING. The Blob is like Hulk, equally anti-social, though somewhat better behaved. It’s a toss-up at this point which would be less likely to align himself with a group. Any group.

CEREBRO… OR NOT CEREBRO? It looks more like another Dr. Seuss creation than the impressive set from the X-Men movies, but it’s good to see more of the mythology falling into place. Of course, later in the story when Scott listens to “the steady drone of CYBERNO’S voice,” I feel I may still be missing something. Who or what is “Cyberno”? For that matter, who is “Rube”? (page 8 and 9) Who’s MacDuff? (page 7) Maybe I’m not as in-tune with the 60’s as I think I am.

MUTANT MUTINY? Mastermind has the hots for Scarlet Witch—well, if not “the hots,” at least he gets hot thinking about how much power they could have if they combined forces. More than anything, he seems turned on by the possibility that “together, our power might even exceed Magneto’s!”

MUTANT MANAGEMENT. Magneto remains unapologetic regarding his leadership style. “Bah! Loyalty is for homo sapiens!! I expect no loyalty! I only demand FEAR—and blind obedience!!” He may not be the nicest guy, but nobody could accuse him of being insincere.

MUTANT IMAGINATION. When Magneto is attacked by carnies, Toad springs to his defense. Does Toad actually believe Magneto needs his protection? Or is it only in his demented fantasy world that Magneto would be forever grateful for such intervention?

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sgtf10

Posted in Avengers, Doctor Strange, Human Torch, Meanwhile, Sgt. Fury, Spider-Man, Strange Tales, X-Men | 8 Comments

FANTASTIC FOUR ANNUAL #2: Soup to Nuts

Published: September, 1964

Published: September, 1964

“Origin of Doctor Doom!”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Chic Stone
Letters: Sam Rosen

Annuals are troublesome beasts. They’re so damn LONG, I can’t get through one in a single sitting. Maybe a few decades down the road, when Marvel Comics become a lot less wordy, it will be an easier task. But right now, Annuals exhaust me. And this month, there were TWO! So forgive me if I sound a little winded as I offer my observations regarding Fantastic Four Annual #2.

To begin with, Doctor Doom is back. And why not? It’s been much too long since his last appearance, and something as grand as an Annual needs a villain as grand as Doctor Doom. I mean, really…would you be willing to plunk down an entire quarter for more of the Impossible Man? I don’t think so. When you got the big guns, use them!

And not only that, but the cover promises we’re about to learn the origin of Dr. Doom! I don’t know about you, but I’ve sort of been wondering what happened in this guy’s past to make him so grouchy. Well, here we go! We’re about to find out.

ffann2gypsyTHE FANTASTIC ORIGIN OF DOCTOR DOOM!
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: I love a good origin story. And this is a good origin story. How could a story that begins in a gypsy camp not be good? You anticipate some supernatural stuff coming your way, and sure enough, we quickly discover that little gypsy boy Victor von Doom is the son of a healer, skilled in the use of magic potions.

However, when the wealthy Baron of Latveria summons the elder von Doom to save his ailing wife, the poor woman’s condition is beyond the scope of even gypsy magic. The Baron blames the gypsy healer for his wife’s death. This ends badly, with Von Doom junior orphaned and bitter.

The boy soon discovers his deceased gypsy mother was a witch, and vows to learn her secrets. Doom grows up to be a brilliant scientist, AND a snake oil salesman, using both magic and technology to sell his outwardly snazzy yet inwardly worthless cures and inventions.

Oh yeah. He also invents robots and weapons.

The Dean of Science at “State University” visits, offering a scholarship, where von Doom meets fellow brilliant scientist, Reed Richards, who points out that some of Victor’s equations ffann2expelare off by a few decimal points. Rather than listen to reason, the proud von Doom goes ahead with his experiment, which literally blows up in his face.

Disfigured, and more bitter than ever, he travels to Tibet, where he becomes the master of a mysterious order of monks. They fashion him a metal mask. Newly costumed, Doom flies back to his childhood home of Latveria, where he easily installs himself as absolute monarch.

And that, my friends, is how you end up with a villain the magnitude of Doctor Doom. Some marvelous characters have magic, others science, but Doom has both. He’s smart, conniving, and filled with rage, believing both his parents were murdered by “the powers that be.” Which is basically true. It’s the perfect storm of dysfunctionality and multiple sources of untapped potential.

So. About this time you’re probably thinking… “Well, that explains A LOT.” And it does. But this story also raises a couple of questions, most of them minor and inconsequential, but here they are.

  • When the Dean of Science from “State University” visits von Doom…what state is that, exactly? I can’t help imagining it’s the same one where Ham and Bergwood are always cheering on the football team in those Allstate commercials.
  • Do you think Doctor Doom objected to the word “fantastic” being used to describe anything about him?
  • When college student Ben Grimm makes a brief appearance, he’s referred to as “the Touchdown King.” No surprise there, but I’d love to know: Quarterback, Fullback, Halfback or Receiver?
  • The monks give Doom a ring that allows him to remove the mask, but camouflage the ring so only he knows it’s there. Interesting! I wonder…a forgotten plot point, or will this come into play in later issues? Well, turns out I don’t have to wait that long. The ring makes another appearance in the second full-length story in this Annual. But wait! Before we get to that, there are a few more treats.

ROGUE’S GALLERY OF VILLAINS
As in the recent Amazing Spider-Man Annual, this issue features a Rogue’s Gallery of Villains, each with a short write-up. Super Skrull, Rama Tut, the Molecule Main, Diablo, the list goes on…but my favorites are the Hate Monger and the Infant Terrible.

I HATE THIS!
The editors admit they got a lot of mail regarding the Hate Monger, and they regret having killed him off. Well…YEAH!! What a great name for a villain, right? They really blew it on this one, not only making the fatal mistake of showing the dead body, but also identifying him as the historical figure Adolf Hitler. There’s just no coming back from that.

But…I wonder… Is there…?? How about a copycat crazy who revives the great name, and that overwhelming spirit of hate, so essential to a good villain? I have no idea at this point, so please don’t spoil me! I’m just saying, it would be a shame to not put a few additional miles on this moniker.

HOW TERRIBLE!
The editors’ remarks regarding the Infant Terrible raised so many issues for me. How easy is it to mold public opinion? Several times I started then scrapped an epic discussion comparing and contrasting today’s social climate to the naivete’ of the 1960’s, but found I couldn’t possibly fit all my ideas in a single post. Let’s boil it down to this: Stan labels the Infant Terrible a “bozo,” claims mixed public reaction, then says he’s not sure if this villain was a success or failure.

ffann2infantComing from the Master of Superlatives, who regularly plasters phrases like “the greatest” and “most sensational” on the cover of every comic, that’s really saying something. The Marvel Bullpen may excel at promising the biggest and the bestest, which we often have to take with a grain of salt, but it’s refreshing to see that they’re willing to humbly eat crow when they fail.

I wanted to work in the quote, “If 50,000 Frenchmen say a stupid thing, it’s still a stupid thing,” which led to some observations about the comedy of Jerry Lewis, but perhaps we’ll have a chance to discuss all this another time. Right now, let’s move on to the Pin-Ups!

PIN-UPS
For a treat, there are five full page pin-ups: one of each member of the Fantastic Four, and one for honorary Fantastic, Alicia Masters. Call me sexist, but I think Johnny’s handwriting looks way too good for a teenage boy. Most surprising of all, though, is that blind girl Alicia’s handwriting is…well…simply fantastic!

THE FINAL VICTORY OF DR. DOOM
Finally, we have a new story, “The Final Victory of Dr. Doom.” Which leads to a couple of questions. First, isn’t “Doctor” usually spelled out? Just nit-picking. But more importantly, when has Doc Doom ever had even one victory? Don’t most of these stories end with him escaping? Well, I guess that’s better than be captured and carted off to jail, but can we really call this a “victory”? I’m reminded of another saying: “He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day.” That’s Doom all over, and here he is again, ready for another fight.

Apparently, only a few moments have passed since we last saw Doom in FF 25 being shot out of a space vessel to most certainly die in the vast nothingness of outer space. However, in a serendipitous turn of events, he’s picked up by a nearby capsule captained by Rama Tut, the Pharoah (or “Pharaoh,” if spelling counts) last seen in FF 19.

If you’re starting to feel this sounds like a dream you once had after too much pizza and beer, just wait! It gets better. When Doom and Tut meet, they compare personal histories and decide it’s entirely possible they are actually THE SAME PERSON at different stages along the same time line.

Whoooooaaahhh… Take another drag, man…

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, and if I haven’t, I’m not ashamed to admit it now: time travel stories baffle me. I enjoy them to no end, but I don’t even pretend, never mind aspire to understand them. This is one of those “just go with the flow,” situations. With that in mind, I offer up for your amusement, the first panel of page 30. Read every word and tell me if any of this makes the slightest bit of sense:

ffann2tut

Notice how Tut immediately responds to Doom’s outlandish supposition with a firm, “You are RIGHT!” He didn’t even have to think about it. What a riot! It’s little moments like this that make Marvel Comics so much fun.

Russ tried and tried to explain to me how it might be possible that Doom and Tut are actually the same person, except for one fatal flaw: the one who is further along on the time line would certainly remember they had once been the other, and they would remember meeting the other here. But as far as we can see in this story, both are acting like they’ve never met before.

Of course, with villains, it entirely possible the person further along on the timeline DOES indeed remember, but is not sharing that intel with the fellow villain they just met, even IF that person might actually be HIM. Or maybe, they’re not sharing that info BECAUSE they know the other is actually himself at another point in time, and he knows he can’t trust himself as far as he can throw himself!

See? Make sense?

Anyway, let’s get on with the story. Doom remains committed to destroying the Fantastic Four, and concocts a scheme to cause each of them to hallucinate the worst about their fellow Fantastics. Reed is too smart to drink the Kool-Aid, but Sue imagines Reed kissing another woman, which of course leads to a Big Dramatic Scene. Eventually Sue cools down enough to hear the explanation, and is both relieved and embarrassed. Reed reassures Sue that she is not a fool… “merely a FEMALE!” Jeez. I’m almost surprised he didn’t mention the time of the month.

ffann2danceJohnny drinks the juice and envisions an unprovoked Thing attacking him. Like that’s never happened before. I’ve scanned the pages to try to figure out what Thing hallucinates, but the best I can come up with is that he thinks he’s Fred Astaire.

After Doom’s had his fun toying with the four, he comes in for the kill, matching force field to force field, and both sides get in a bit of clobberin’ time. Sue turns Doom invisible with a “nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!” exclamation of “You never suspected that I had the power to turn OTHERS invisible as well as myself!” Well, guess what, Sue? Neither did we. But it’s awfully convenient in a pinch…until we also learn that, apparently, Sue cannot be invisible at the same time as her opponent.

I swear, I think they’re making this stuff up as they go along.

In the end, Reed pulls the “Hey, Doom! Why are you pickin’ on a GIRL??” card, and challenges his enemy to a drinking game instead.

ffann2notthatLike the manly men they both are, Doom and Reed swig down the magic potion, then employ the Encephalo-Gun for a round of what can only be described as “Brain Wrestling,” with Doom finally appearing to obliterate his opponent.

You’ll notice how I said “appearing” to obliterate his opponent, because as soon as Doom enjoys his triumphant moment, he stalks off, claiming no further interest in the remaining three. Then Reed shows up and explains that “the juice…enabled the one with the stronger mentality to create an ILLUSION in the brain of the other. And the illusion I created in his mind was the illusion of VICTORY!”

See? I told you Doom’s “Victory” was not going to be everything it was cracked up to be on the cover.

But there are some serious issues at play here. First, we know of course that Doctor Doom has an ego as big as all Latveria, but what does this episode say about Reed? Are we to believe he would risk such dire consequences without being completely convinced of his ability beat Doom at Brain Wrestling? Of course not! Of the two, whose ego is bigger? At this point, it appears a toss up.

But here’s another question: when Thing wants to go after Doom and clobber him NOW, Reed restrains the rock man and explains, “We’re not murderers…we can’t KILL him!” Well…okay. Fair enough. But what about Reed’s next comment regarding Doom? “He’s committed no crime for which he can be arrested!”

What? Doctor Doom has committed no crimes? Really?? Reed goes on to qualify this remark with some mumbo-jumbo about Doom having diplomatic immunity, which may be cumbersomely correct, but it still doesn’t negate the fact that Doom has in fact committed crimes! Many crimes!

ffann_reedlastThis Annual has added a layer of drama by declaring Doom the leader of a foreign nation. But is Marvel now going to hide behind a cloak of diplomatic immunity, so Doom can continue to torment the Fantastic Four and the entire civilized world? It seems a bit too convenient, but hey! If it gets the job done, who am I to complain?

Finally, Reed finishes up his comments on Doom with “All we can do is hope that he never returns…but, if he does…we must stand ready to battle him again!” Perhaps I’m going out on a limb here, but I don’t believe Reed Richards is hoping Doom never returns. I think he’s desperately hoping Doom DOES return, so they can battle again, and he can win again. Providing yet another opportunity for Mr. Fantastic to prove how fantastically superior he is to even his most oppressive opponents. Because honestly, when it comes right down to it, it’s Reed Richards’ world; the rest of us just live in it.

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AMAZING SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #1: All Together Now!

Published: September, 1964

Published: September, 1964

“The Sinister Six!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: Sam Rosen

And now we present: Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1! It’s 72 pages long, and cost 25 cents back in 1964, but those kids sure got their money’s worth with this one. The feature story alone is 41 pages, and so characteristically wordy, that by the time I finished, I didn’t have the strength to go on with the rest of the book. So it took me a couple of days to get through this. Whew! Here are a few observations.

THE SINISTER SIX
Spidey fights six of his most famous villains in this one. Six! Count ‘em! Six! Electro, Kraven, Mysterio, Sandman, Vulture and Doctor Octopus.

However, because each villain so egotistically believes that HE will now be able to defeat Spider-Man on his own (even though he hasn’t been able to do it in the past), the battles take place sequentially, rather than all at once. Once it’s all over, even Spider-Man admits that if they hadn’t each been so eager to get the glory, and had teamed up against him, they might have won. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Too late now. The six are toast, and we may have to wait until the next Annual to see if, once they all get out of prison, they’ll have any better luck tackling the Amazing Spider-Man.

I’M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP, MR. DITKO!
asmann1vultureRuss tells me this Annual is famous for two things. One: six full page pics of Spidey dealing with each of his opponents in turn. It’s easy to say which one is my least favorite. It would have to be Spidey’s portrait with the Vulture. First of all, the Vulture continues to underwhelm me as a villain, and in this shot, Spidey is clearly in control of the action.

However, picking a favorite is not so easy. For me, it’s a toss-up between Mysterio and Electro.

There’s so much going on in both these pin-ups. I love the colors in Mysterio’s portrait, and the breaking glass. Best of all, you get that odd sensation that Mysterio’s cape clasps are his eyes. Russ has told me that as a kid he was convinced the ornamentations on Mysterio’s costume were actually his misplaced eyeballs, and you can really see that here. It’s weird and eerie.

asmann1mysterio asmann1electro

As for Electro, can’t you just feel the power of the electricity in all those jagged yellow and orange points? And Electro himself looks totally beaten (or should I say “whopped“?) as Spidey lands a full swing punch to his spiky mask. In both pictures, only one of four feet are on the ground, giving a sense of action, motion, excitement. It’s great storytelling in a single panel.

For comparison’s sake, here are the other three full page portraits:

asmann1vill3

If anyone wants to make a case for any of these being the best, please do! I’d love to hear which of these most appeal to other Marvel fans.

BE OUR GUEST! BE OUR GUEST!
The other thing that gives this first Spider-Man Annual its place in comics history is the wide variety of guest stars. Almost every Marvel superhero of the day shows up, and for most, it’s more than a cameo appearance—there are plenty of speaking parts! Torch and Spidey go through their standard teenage rivals routine for more than a full page, and Captain America and Reed Richards confer via video chat when Spider-Man goes missing.

CLUELESS
It’s always fun when characters pop into each other’s stories, but for amusement, nothing beats Aunt May’s completely clueless commentary when she and Betty Brant are kidnapped by Dr. Octopus.

asmann1mayBetty clearly understands that it’s not acceptable to be held against your will, even if your host is serving coffee and Danish pastries, but Aunt May keeps acting like she’s at a tea party. Until Spider-Man shows up to rescue them. Then she makes note of the stark contrast between their well-spoken, most charming host, and the “villainous-looking” Spider-Man in his “perfectly ghastly outfit,” who doesn’t even knock when he enters the room. I DO declare!

In the end, poor Aunt May has to admit, “I’m afraid I don’t understand ANY of this!” That’s okay, Aunt May. What you don’t know can hurt you…but not if you live in the same universe with your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!

THE SECRETS OF SPIDER-MAN
After this lengthy entertainment, we move on to “The Secrets of Spider-Man,” a feature which might as well be called “The Science of Spider-Man.” Basically, it’s a re-hashing of all of Spider-Man’s fantastic abilities, most of which we already know inside and out, but I did pick up a few more interesting tidbits.

For instance, did you know…?

  • Spider-Man is probably the world’s greatest authority on the subject of webs and their creation
  • He can life 40 times his own weight
  • He can jump three stories with a single spring
  • He is easily the greatest balancer of any human being on earth
  • His webbing disappears into nothingness after one hour
  • Only Daredevil has more highly developed senses

I especially like the bit about the webbing disappearing after one hour. It never occurred to me to ask what happens to all that nasty webbing lying around after a fight. Sort of like Buffy’s vampires going “Poof!” in a cloud of smoke, no body or bones to clean up, that webbing trick is awfully convenient. Leave it to scientific high school genius Peter Parker to figure out a way to make a substance that’s so strong it can support the weight of a full grown man to ALSO have the handy-dandy property of delayed disintegration.

This short feature is also a great way to “toot the horn” for the artist. “Marvel’s merry madmen are exceptionally proud of Steve Ditko’s superb portrayal of Spider-Man in action,” but I am exceptionally proud of Marvel’s merry madmen for this:

asmann1secrets

We always known the artwork works, but now we know why it works. Any questions? I didn’t think so. Let’s move on!

A GALLERY OF SPIDER-MAN’S MOST FAMOUS FOES
Next we take a quick peek at Spider-Man’s villains, and sadly, this gallery of ne’er-do-wells is nowhere near as impressive as it could be. It’s an odd conglomeration of the powerful and the pedestrian.

The Burglar? Yes, he shot Uncle Ben, but other than that, has little to recommend him as a villain. Nice detail in his pin-up, though, with a couple of rats and broken bottles.

Next, it’s the Chameleon, the Vulture, the Terrible Tinkerer. We seem to be descending rapidly into the pit of “ho-hum” villains, but pick up again rapidly with Dr. Octopus, Sandman and Doctor Doom. We don’t usually think of Doom as a Spider-Man villain, though they did butt heads briefly in ASM 5. Doom’s inclusion on this list seems to be a marketing ploy for the Fantastic Four Annual, also hitting newsstands this month.

The Lizard, the Living Brain, the Enforcers. See what I mean? But also: Electro, Mysterio, Green Goblin and Kraven. My main impression, coming to the end of this feature, is that Spider-Man villains are like a box of chocolates—you never know what you’re gonna get.

A LITTLE BIT OF THIS, A LITTLE BIT OF THAT
And I guess in an Annual, you never know what you’re going to get, because after all these villains, we see “Peter Parker’s Favorite Heel and Heart-Throb,” highlighting Peter’s work colleagues J. Jonah Jameson and Betty Brant.

peterhouseIt’s only one page, then on we go to “Peter Parker’s Classmates,” which pokes fun at Flash Thompson and suggests “there are more great athletes who ARE good students, than aren’t!” (Surprisingly, no editor’s note directs us to the latest edition of Daredevil, the Man Without Fear!)

A Guest Star Page finishes up this hodgepodge of single page features, but not before we’re treated to a detailed map of Peter Parker’s house. I always love a good map, and this one reveals how Spider-Man secretly gets in and out through an attic window. Aunt May, seen here in her rocking chair, knitting, is clueless, as usual.

HOW STAN AND STEVE CREATED SPIDER-MAN!
Finally we have this tongue-in-cheek compilation of the foibles that go into creating a comic book. On one level, it’s a string of jokes, but it does make you wonder how much of the aggravation expressed in these word balloons was perhaps a little too close for comfort. Best line, by “Ditko”: If all the web-lines I’ve drawn were laid end to end, they STILL wouldn’t be enough to fit around Lee’s swelled head!!

asmann1ditkoIn the end, the first issue is completed, and with a sigh of relief, Ditko plans to sleep for a week. Not so fast, my friend! You know there’s a half-dozen or so new comic mags in your “To Do” box. If this little feature accomplishes anything, other than giving readers a few good laughs, surely it reveals the breakneck pace at which this work was done. I come away with a new appreciation for the Marvel Bullpen’s grace under pressure.

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