JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #90: Topsy Turvy!

Posted on November 29, 2012 by Chrissy

Published: March, 1963

“Trapped by the Carbon-Copy Man!”
Plot: Stan Lee
Script: Larry Lieber
Art: Al Hartley
Letters: Terry Szenics

Here is a quick and easy Thor story that has a few chuckle factors, so I’ll say a few words, but only a few, and then let’s move on to something meatier. The first thing we notice is new credits: Art by Al Hartley and lettering by Terry Szenics. I don’t know about you, but I can’t tell one guy’s lettering from another. Maybe you have to be a real comic book connoseiuer…conossouer…conna…nerd, to see those minute differences. It’s like, to me, wine is wine. I don’t get all this swishing it in the glass, sniffing the “bouquet,” holding it up to the light. Will it give me a buzz, and how much does it cost? That’s all I need to know.

But as for the artist, yes, I can see a difference. Almost immediately the art slaps you in the face, when Don Blake laments that he can never get up enough courage to tell Jane his true feelings. “Why don’t I just up and tell Jane that I love her? What am I afraid of?”

When I look at this picture, I can’t help thinking, “Well, Don, maybe you’re afraid Jane is going to laugh you off the face of the planet because in relation to the rest of your body, your head is the size of a BUICK!” I think the artist is trying to emphasize Blake’s frailness and lameness while at the same time depicting Thor’s manliness in the large, square head and jaw. Nice try, Al…but it just doesn’t work.

On the other hand, Jane Foster is nicely drawn. Russ often laments that in these earliest comics you’re just not going to see attractive depictions of women. I agree with him, but this Jane Foster is almost cute. So here I say: Good going, Al!

Anyway, Blake decides to be “a man, not a mouse,” and reveal his love for Jane, but before he can take a breath, Odin ominously appears to remind him that he’s bound to never reveal his true identity. Well, yeah, we know that. But Blake wasn’t planning to reveal his secret identity to Jane. So… not really sure what all that was about. But with his confidence now handily deflated by Odin, Blake chickens out.

*Sigh*… Unspoken and unrequited love must continue as such.

In other news, we meet the Xartans from planet Xarta, where battles are won by the trickery of shape-shifting. The clever and ruthless warlord Ugarth contemplates retirement (“After this conquest, I retire!”), and son Zano is eager to prove he can walk a mile in Dad’s shoes.

Next thing we know, the whole city is in a tizzy as workers paint polka dots on bridges, cars are allowed to drive on sidewalks and people are commanded to walk in the gutter! Oh, what a topsy turvy world we live in! When Jane Foster berates Dr. Blake for treating the indigent without demanding payment…well, this is just too much! Blake stomps his cane, transforms to Thor, and flies off to meet his good friend Mayor Harris, to find out what in blazes is going on.

But Harris is acting just as wacky as everyone else, and Thor retreats to contemplate the mystery. He recalls a time when Odin “counseled his sons” with this philosophical gem: “When something puzzles you, always seek the simplest, most obvious explanation…no matter how impossible it might seem.” This maxim is commonly known as Occam’s Razor—though it’s unlikely Odin would admit to borrowing from earthly philosophy. No, I’m quite sure Odin would claim it was he, mighty King of the Asgardians, who invented this bit of wisdom. And who knows? Maybe he did, and Occam borrowed from him!

I found myself momentarily distracted by the appearance of Odin’s “sons.” We think of Thor and Loki as Odin’s sons, but in this picture, it appears Thor has a twin! What!? Why have we not heard of this sibling? Is he truly Thor’s twin, or perhaps just an Asgardian warrior in similar attire? Why did the writer and illustrator even go here, showing two “sons” of Odin, unless there was a plan to make something of this at a later time?

But getting back to Odin’s advice, in addition to Occam’s Razor, these words also remind me of Sherlock Holmes’ truism: “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” Well, Occam and Odin are not even bothering to do the work of eliminating other possibilities. They simply start with the obvious and say, “Yeah, that’s it. Problem solved. Let’s go home.”

So, grasping Odin’s wisdom, Thor concludes that the crazy people must be imposters! Setting off to search the city (not sure for what, exactly), when he spies some downed trees, he surmises, “The trees below have been felled as though by a huge scythe…or a large aircraft…perhaps…a SPACESHIP!”

Huh?

Didn’t Thor just get through embracing the acumen that the simplest explanation must necessarily be the correct one? So then, how does he come up with “Trees down = spaceship”? Wielding a little Occam’s Razor of my own, I surmise that perhaps on Asgard the simplest solution is a far cry from what makes sense on earth; perhaps on Asgard, “Trees down=spaceship” is a common occurrence.

That makes sense…doesn’t it?

Well…perhaps, but in this instance, Thor happens to be right! Almost immediately, he discovers the partially hidden Xartanian spaceship, which pulls him in with magnetic force, separating him from Mjolnir, and causing him to revert to Blake.

Immediately, we are faced with another difficulty, as we encounter a monumental logic puzzle along the lines of “Can God make a rock He can’t lift?” When Thor is pulled in by the spaceship, we are informed that “the strange magnetic force is too powerful for even the mighty Thor.” Yet, on page two, the narrator informed us that Thor is “the mightiest creature in all this universe.” Well… is he or isn’t he?? Is he mightier than a magnetic force, or not? And if he’s not, then he’s not really the “mightiest,” is he? You can’t have it both ways, unless there is NO “creature” in the universe able to overcome magnetic force. It wasn’t that long ago that Hulk defeated the Toad Mean from outer space, and they claimed to be the masters of magnetic force!

When Blake is brought inside the spaceship, he finds the other humans that have been captured—Jane, and Mayor Harris. Which makes me wonder…where is everyone else? Or have the Xartans been able to cause such monumental chaos by simply replacing one old mayor and one cute little nurse? No, that doesn’t make sense. They must have other prisoners; they must be on the other spaceships. Right? That would make sense, to split up your prisoners into multiple holding areas, so they could not conspire and revolt. That would be an intelligent strategy for an invading force.

But from what we’ve seen so far in the Marvel Universe, being from outer space does not automatically guarantee a high level of intelligence, so there’s really no telling if there are other prisoners, and where they might be. But, we do know this: between Blake, Harris and Jane Foster, the three earthlings should be able to devise a plan for overcoming their captors.

This seems especially certain when the Xartans almost immediately reveal how incredibly dull-witted they really are. They start by making the classic movie mistake of revealing the extent of their powers, quickly followed by bragging about their strategy for conquering earth. Is this stupidity, or simple pride? How many times have we seen this in the movies? So often, it’s become a cliché.

But perhaps it was in comic mags like this that the cliché got started?

Next, when Blake offers to lead the Xartans directly to Thor in exchange for his own freedom, Ugarth heartily agrees. You know, for someone who’s been on the job of Ruthless Warlord to the point that he’s now considering retirement, he hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it yet, has he?

I love this panel, because there’s so much going on. First, we see that Blake is smart enough to dream up a scheme for defeating the enemy, and we hear the ruthless warlord agreeably complying with his captive’s suggestion. But the ever-faithful Jane Foster exclaims, “No, Dr. Blake! Don’t do it!” Even though earlier, she had all but written him off as a timid, poor soul who could never be as brave as her idol Thor, apparently she hasn’t stopped caring about him. And finally, there’s Mayor Harris, the completely ineffective leader criticizing the actions of others while he stands idly by.

When Blake gets outside with the Xartans, he finds Mjolnir and transforms to Thor, in which form he is compelled to fight the Xartans in three different incarnations. Son Zano is easily defeated, but Ugarth inflicts a bit of confusion, before Thor realizes he can create a rainstorm to reveal the location of his invisible enemy.

Outsmarted, the ruthless warlord crumbles like bacon. Thor flings him into outer space, and his people follow (presumably, after ejecting any earthly prisoners they might have been holding). A few Xartans remain, however, and Thor instructs them to turn into trees, knowing that as trees, they will not have the ability to think themselves back into their original form. Oh, that Thor! He’s pretty smart, huh? The Mayor heartily approves, and Jane fawns over her hero. In the end, Dr. Blake gives the audience a wink-wink nudge-nudge, saying “We can’t ALL be as brave as Thor!”

Well yeah, that’s really cute and all, but these sentiments and this story have done nothing to advance the overall storyline. Jane is still pining for both Blake and Thor, and Blake is no closer to revealing his love. So, overall, this was, mostly, a throwaway tale.

Sure, this was a lot of fun, but it raises more questions than it answers. Chief among these questions: who is Odin’s other son, and should we be on the lookout for future appearances? And: after seeing Thor battle the invisible Ugarth, can we assume that a rain shower would reveal Sue Storm to her enemies in the same way?

For those of you who have been reading comics for years, these questions might seem silly. I think I know the answers, but since I haven’t read very far, I can’t be sure. And Russ won’t tell me. He wants me to encounter the wonders of the Marvel Universe on my own as much as possible. And I want that too, so I look forward to the discovery.

My future is full of further adventures and mysteries as I continue along the meandering path here in the Marvelous Zone! There’s been a gaping pothole in this meandering path, but not to worry! Next time we meet, we’ll fill that pothole…with Iron!

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INCREDIBLE HULK #6: Out With the Old, In With the New

Posted on November 15, 2012 by Chrissy

Published: March, 1963

“The Incredible Hulk vs. the Metal Master!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: Art Simek

Russ tells me this is the last issue of The Incredible Hulk…at least for a while.

Bit of history: Back in the 1960’s, Marvel’s distributor only allowed them to publish a certain number of comics, and since they were planning to introduce a new title (more on that soon!), as the song says, “Somewhere someway, somehow, somethin’s gotta give.” This was strictly a Darwinian case of Survival of the Fittest, and Hulk simply didn’t make the cut.

Not to worry, though! Of course we’ll see him again, making guest appearances in other titles, and eventually he’ll share Tales to Astonish with Giant-Man. And a little while after that, that title will morph back into The Incredible Hulk. But this is the last full-blown Hulk adventure of the initial run.

No need to spend a lot of time rehashing the action. Suffice it to say the alien menace Metal Master wreaks havoc on earth, and though Hulk is at first victim to his superpowers, in the end a combination of Hulk’s super-strength and Banner’s super-intellect defeats the Metal Master, and order is restored on Earth. Standard comic book fare.

What I’d like to take a few moments to ponder, though, is some of the other stuff happening alongside the main storyline. Because some of this other stuff helps explain why Hulk was “let go” from his stint as a title-carrying superhero. The Hulk mythos has been plagued with inconsistencies, and this final story brings it all to a boiling point.

Now, before I start ragging on Hulk, let me preface my remarks by acknowledging that I’m no expert on any of this. I wasn’t even around when this comic was originally published—well, actually I was, but at the time I was too busy playing with Barbies to even know there was such a thing as a Hulk. So everything I say from this point on must begin with “It seems to me…”

It seems to me—and I’ve said this from the beginning—that Hulk’s creators have no idea what to do with him. He’s supposed to be a super-HERO, but in so many ways he comes off as a villain. He’s ugly, rude and completely misunderstood. He has no desire to do good, only to protect himself. On rare occasions he’ll manage a good deed—like that time he rescued a family from a burning building—but of course, he gets no thanks for his efforts, only shrieks of horror and dismay, and further pursuit by the military. How many times can we watch Hulk evade the military? When self-preservation is the “superhero’s” only motivation, the story gets old fast.

However, Hulk may have one redeeming quality: he’s beginning to show concern for his young sidekick, Rick Jones. Despite the fact that Hulk often calls his only friend in the world a “Brat,” when push comes to shove, he’ll do what’s needed to keep the kid safe.

Nice. But is it enough to power a superhero?

In the first issue of The Incredible Hulk, Banner transforms to Hulk when the sun sets. Next, Banner develops a machine that accomplishes the transformation with the flip of a switch. We’ve just gone from bad to worse! The inherent drama in a creature like Hulk is that you never know when he’s going to appear and go berserk. Remember Bill Bixby warning, “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry,” right before his eyes go glassy and big green Lou Ferrigno shows up? That, at least, provided some honest-to-goodness drama! But pushing a button has no business in a dramatic narrative about an oversized monster!

Stan must have realized this, and so now, perhaps as a last ditch effort, is trying a few new twists. At one point, when Banner puts himself under the influence of the machine, his body becomes the Hulk, but his head is still Banner! (Weird, huh?) Another time, Hulk presses the button, but does not immediately transform back to Banner. What!? Is Banner now doomed to live out his days as the Incredible Hulk?

Of course, Banner eventually shows up again. So why did we even bother going through these anomalies? They don’t add anything to the storyline, it just feels like an artificial attempt at conjuring up “drama for drama’s sake.” OMG! What will happen? Well…never mind. It all turns out okay in the end.

Sigh…

By this time, Stan must have realized they’d created a monster—but I don’t mean a big green mean machine of a Hulk. Instead, they’ve created this character they’re having a devil of a time making likeable and interesting. How to redeem the Hulk? Does he change at night? Does he change by machine? Is the change immediate? Delayed? Partial? Does he want to help people or hurt people? Is he going to read to us from the classics, or smash some heads? The Hulk we’ve known so far is all over the place, a mess.

Banner is likeable. I like Banner. Hulk—not so much. However, when readers care more about the mild-mannered scientist than the titled “superhero,” something isn’t right.

Admittedly, Hulk is not the archetypal hero. Sometimes it’s exciting to challenge the archetypes and come up with something new and refreshing. And I think eventually we’ll see that with Hulk. But right now, we’re just not there.

And so it seems we’re about to bid adieu—at least a partial and temporary adieu—to big, mean and green, while his creators figure out what the heck to do with the monster they’ve created.

THE RICK JONES DILEMMA
So that’s what’s going on with Hulk. But now we have another issue, the “Rick Jones Dilemma.” Rick Jones was brought in as an assistant for Banner/Hulk, and now that Hulk won’t be around quite as much, you’d think we wouldn’t see much more of Jones, either. There’s really no need to keep the orphaned teenage boy hanging around, right?

But now, the Marvelous Powers-That-Be do something extremely intriguing. Rather than put Rick Jones back on the shelf, they give him something new to do. As I’ve mentioned many times, before meeting Russ, I knew very little about comics, but at some point I know I had heard the phrase “The Teen Brigade.”

In this issue of Hulk, Rick Jones laments, “I’m tired of bein’ just a nothin’! I wanna be where the action is!” When he sees his friends using a ham radio, he has an epiphany and forms the Teen Brigade.

The first order of business for the Teen Brigade is to assist Hulk in creating a “weapon” to defeat the Metal Master. Here’s where Banner’s intellect comes into play, because the weapon Hulk wields against the villain isn’t metal at all, but a cleverly disguised model of plastic and cardboard. The Metal Master becomes so frustrated by his inability to affect this weapon that it appears his own head, rather than the object he’s focusing upon, is about to explode.

Freaking out, he messes up, lets Hulk get too close, and is bullied into undoing all the damage he’s caused; then, “impelled by an uncontrollable fear of the Incredible Hulk,” the Metal Master is sent packing back to his home planet… “never again to return!” Well, we’ll see about that “never again to return” business, but for the moment, the thankless Hulk has saved the world once again.

Of course, he couldn’t have done it without the help of Rick Jones and the Teen Brigade.

Really?

Did we really need a bunch of enthusiastic teenage boys to gather plastic and cardboard from all over the country, in order to pull off this feat? Banner couldn’t have worked this out on his own? I’m being facetious; of course he could have. It seems to me the Teen Brigade is created not so much because the Marvel Universe needs them, but moreso because Stan believes Marvel readers will want them.

Here’s another place where I’m prefacing my remarks with a great big “It seems to me…” because I wasn’t there and I don’t really know, but it seems to me that teenage characters must have provided a huge selling point in comics, or else why would we have them? Batman has Robin, and that’s working out pretty good for DC, so now Marvel gives us Johnny Storm, and Peter Parker, and Rick Jones. Johnny and Pete have a lot of serious work to do, of course, but so far Rick Jones has only served as a helper for Hulk. Yet, even though Hulk is now banished to the land of Guest Appearances, it seems Rick Jones will not accompany him on this journey.

I don’t know what’s coming next for the Teen Brigade, but I’m sure this is not the last time we’ll see this band of teenage boys in ties and hats, hellbent on patriotism and good deeds. “The more the merrier,” I always say, and that might explain the creation of this new Marvel entity to some degree, but…why teenagers? And why Rick Jones?

As I understand it, the demographics of the comic buying public at this time is slowly morphing from little boys with a dime and two pennies in their pocket, to young teens, high schoolers, and some college kids. Most comic readers, therefore, either are teenage boys, have recently been teenage boys, or are dreaming of all the wild freedoms they’ll enjoy when they become teenage boys.

Teenage boys and comics…a natural combination, sort of like chocolate and peanut butter.

That’s why I think Rick Jones is still going to be around, at least for a while. It seems to me the readers must identify with him and with the other teenage characters, enjoying the fact that mere “kids” like themselves could be instrumental in these “life and death” and sometimes apocalyptic situations.

Look. I may be in my mid-fifties, but amazingly, I haven’t forgotten what it’s like to be a kid. (Come to think of it, reading comics might have something to do with maintaining my strong connection to childhood.) I remember, as a kid, feeling small and insignificant. I remember hearing, way too often, “Children should be seen and not heard.”

Well, here, Marvel Comics is saying—in a sense that I hope nobody will find sacrilegious, because I myself am a Bible-believing Christian—“Suffer not the little children to come unto me.” By the inclusion of young characters like Johnny Storm, Peter Parker, and Rick Jones, Marvel Comics is validating the existence and contributions of young people everywhere. By publishing letters from young readers and taking their suggestions that lead to changes and developments in future storylines, the Marvel creators are proclaiming, “We hear you, and we like what you’re saying,” rather than “Children should be seen and not heard.” (Who came up with that one, anyway?)

Now, to be fair, Marvel Comics is a business, and artistic decisions were no doubt ultimately based upon the bottom line of how much profit in increments of twelve cents could be accumulated. I just find it refreshing that the creators acknowledged their readers had something to offer and made efforts to include them in so many of the creative decisions that ultimately shaped the legacy of Marvel Comics.

PRODUCTION NOTES
And now, I have only one more thing to say: In this final issue of the initial run of The Incredible Hulk, the art is by Steve Ditko, rather than Jack Kirby, who illustrated all the previous issues of Hulk. It might just be a case of preferring the familiar, but I’m not exactly fond of Steve Ditko’s representations of most of the characters. Hulk looks pretty creepy, and that’s fine, but where is the Bruce Banner and Rick Jones we’ve come to know and love? And why does Rick have that funny little curl in the middle of his forehead? Was that really necessary?

After going on and on about how great it is that the creators choose to include teenage characters, I have to mention that a lot of the time, they’re portrayed pretty dorkily. I know “dorkily” is not a word, but it’s the best description I can think of.

Steve Ditko does this. So does Jack Kirby. It’s probably more a sign of the times than of any particular illustrator’s artistic abilities. From a 2012 perspective, it’s almost charming, and makes us chuckle. I haven’t looked at many current comics, but I feel fairly certain that no teenage boys are wearing ties and hats, unless they’re attending church or high school graduation.

Join me in a fortnight, when Don Blake gets a swollen head, and I contemplate Occam’s Razor and the retirement benefits on the Planet Xarta! All of that and more, next time, in The Marvelous Zone!

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FANTASTIC FOUR #12: When Superheroes Collide

Posted on November 1, 2012 by Chrissy

Published: March, 1963

“The Incredible Hulk”
Script: Stan Lee
Pencils: Jack Kirby
Inks: Dick Ayers
Letters: Art Simek

So here we are, at FF #12. It’s taken me about eight months to cover a little more than a year’s worth of comics. Hmmmm…. Let’s think about this…. (does some frantic scribbling) If I don’t pick up the pace, I’ll be ninety years old before Peter Parker graduates from college. With this in mind, I’ve made an executive decision to be more selective in choosing which books to review. The new plan is to record comments only when something big and important happens in the Marvel Universe.

Now don’t misunderstand! I’m not losing interest in comics—no, very much the opposite! The only thing I enjoy more than writing about Marvel comics is actually reading them. This new strategy gives me the oppotunity to move forward in that regard, so that I can learn what happens to Aunt May before I actually look like her.

But have no fear! If you’re coming to this blog as a student of the history of Marvel Comics, my “Meanwhile…” posts will continue to document the complete catalog.

Now, having said all that, I can’t let this issue of Fantastic Four slip by. In this story, the FF meet the Incredible Hulk! Not only that, they also meet General “Thunderbolt” Ross! And Bruce Banner! And Rick Jones!! So, if you are a fan of crossovers (which I am), this issue is outstanding!

ANTICIPATION
The cover proclaims “AT LAST! The FF meet the The Hulk!” At last? Before this, there have only been 11 issues of FF and five of Hulk. Is it really so unusual they haven’t met before this? Besides, the FF reside on the East Coast, and Hulk generally lurks about in the Southwest. So they weren’t likely to meet at the grocery store, Starbucks, or during an evening’s entertainment at the symphony.

But in fact, the symphony is the unlikely beginning to this clash of titans tale. The first thing we notice (beside Alicia’s new hairstyle) is that Thing becomes highly insulted when the military mistakes him for Hulk. That was pretty funny. Don’t you think Thing should consider it a compliment, since it’s his super-strength that leads to the misunderstanding?

But no. In characteristically bad humor, Thing defies the US Army, but upon returning to FF HQ, he finds General “Thunderbolt” Ross imploring the FF to assist in capturing the Hulk. The boys are eager to jump on board, but Sue apparently doesn’t harbor the same animosity towards Hulk.

Yet, in typical 1960’s fashion, Sue is consoled (or is it…patronized?) with the statement that a pretty young lady can always be of help just by keeping up the men’s morale.

You go, Sue! Right?

ONWARD AND UPWARDS!
Anyway, the Four take to their flying bathtu—oops! Pardon me, I mean the Fantasticar—which is newly redesigned. We learn that when fans from all over the country wrote in, complaining about the “flying bathtub,” Johnny was motivated to use his garage smarts to give the Fantasticar a groovy, new makeover. Again, the readers influence the story!

Offering General Ross a lift in the Fantasticar, they travel to the Southwest to meet with super-nerdy scientist Dr. Bruce Banner, his sidekick Rick, and new assistant, Dr. Karl Kort. The brainiacs meet to hammer out a plan to capture Hulk. Afterwards, Thing scares the bejeezus out of Kort…well, at least he scares the wallet out of his pants pocket.

Rick Jones finds the wallet and quickly discovers that Kort is actually a card-carrying member of the Communist Party. Literally. Kort was carrying his Communist Party Membership Card in his wallet. On a US military base. In his wallet. In his pants pocket. Really.

Kort takes Rick prisoner, so while the FF make plans to capture Hulk, Banner transforms to Hulk, making plans to rescue his trusty sidekick.

In the end, Thing gets his chance to rumble with Hulk, and also with Kort’s giant robot. The FF track down Kort and hey, guess what? It’s girly-girly Sue who knocks the gun out of Kort’s hand, paving an easy path for Thing to grab the Commie by the collar.

So! Keeping up the men’s morale, eh?

As for Hulk, he’s just relieved that Rick is safe.

As the FF jet off into the sky, Hulk says, “I got a feelin’ this ain’t the last time we’ll meet!” Well, I sort of have that same feeling. At least I hope so, because it’s much more fun when there’s a party. I love seeing all these characters interacting with each other. Anything can happen, and almost anything does:

GENERAL ROSS
Look closely at the panel above and you’ll notice that General Ross, in his frustration, actually says, “Of all the blanketty-blank–!!” I ask you: How funny is that? I think you would have to be pretty darned frustrated to resort to language like “blanketty-blank–!!”

On a more serious note, though, I wonder what it means that Ross has decided to ask the FF for help in capturing Hulk. Is this merely a way to increase the readership of both books, or could it be that Ross is beginning to realize he’s out of ideas? Remember, bombs haven’t worked. What’s next? I suppose when conventional warfare is unsuccessful, it’s time to bring in the big guns: fight superbeings with superbeings!

I also suppose General Ross has been throwing his weight around in the matter of army personnel, because last time he was perturbed that Banner’s assistant was “that insolent teenager,” Rick Jones. Now Banner has a new assistant, and Rick has been demoted to “young helper.”

I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t sound like a paying position to me.

KARL KORT
However, let’s stop a moment to consider Rick’s replacement: Karl Kort. The moment I read his name, I called out to Russ: “Hey! Looks like the army has hired another Commie!” Really, I did. I knew this guy was a Commie the moment I met him. I think it was the double K’s that gave it away.

Does the Marvel military ever get any better at their employment screening process?

Kort is assisting Dr. Banner with Project 34, which “would emit electro-magnetic waves, blanketing the area, making any US city completely invulnerable to enemy missiles or rockets.” Cool idea, huh? Why can’t we think up groovy stuff like this in the real world?

But Commie Karl Kort is not really “assisting” Banner at all. Oh no! Instead, he is secretly working to sabotage Banner’s work. Kort is even smart enough to make General Ross think it’s Hulk behind everything that’s gone wrong. Well, maybe you don’t actually have to be a brainaic to do that. For one thing, Hulk is an easy target. Anything goes wrong anywhere…must be the Hulk. I mean, just look at him! And secondly, Ross is predisposed to blame Hulk for everything that’s wrong with the world, from destroyed missile installations to the seeds in his watermelon. You could tell Ross that Hulk is responsible for global warming and he would bellow, “There’s no such blankety-blank thing as global warming! And the Hulk is causing it!”

MENACE AND MAYHEM
When General Ross briefs the FF on Hulk, they are equally convinced of his menace. In fact, Sue is so disturbed by the mere sight of Hulk that she involuntarily begins to disappear! The others want to fight him, and eventually get their chance. Of course, we know from the start that Mr. Fantastic and Torch are not destined to bring down the incredible Hulk, but you have to wonder what might happen if Hulk and Thing get into it. Well, wonder no more!

The only reason we don’t get to the end of this mayhem is because Thing and Sue fall into a hole and encounter Kort and his giant robot, a scene which ends with the aforementioned disarming by invisible Sue, which leads to Kort’s capture. As for Hulk, once he knows that Rick is safe, he leaps away to transform back to Banner.

So you see, no matter what “Thunderbolt” Ross would have you believe about Hulk, deep down he’s really a caring and sensitive soul. In fact, I would say Hulk is probably more caring and sensitive than the General who pursues him. Hulk may grunt and groan, but that’s only because he’s been the victim of a barrage of gamma radiation. Ross, on the other hand, is fond of uttering things like “Harrummph!”, “blanketty-blank–!!” and “A fine kettle of fish this is!” when things are not to his liking. What’s up with that? He can’t fall back on the gamma ray excuse for being a crotchety old curmudgeon when things don’t go his way. No, I think he’s just a crotchety old curmudgeon when things don’t go his way.

As Banner and Richards take leave of each other, there is a hint that Reed may indeed know about (or at least suspect) a connection between Banner and the Hulk. Nice touch! Opens the door for future tales, and makes you wonder what might happen the next time we are lucky enough to find the Four and the Hulk sharing the same pages.

But before that happens, we have lots of other tales to enjoy! These guys have seen a sneak preview of my upcoming column, and you’ll be just as stunned as they are, when it’s out with the old, and in with the new, next time, right here in the Marvelous Zone!

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AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #1: Disgrace & Disguise

Posted on October 18, 2012 by Chrissy

Published: March, 1963

“Spider-Man”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: John Duffy

“Spider-Man vs. the Chameleon!”
Script: Stan Lee
Art: Steve Ditko
Letters: John Duffy

POWER OF THE PRESS
As I continue to perfect the art of the concise synopsis, here’s the action from our first story, in a nutshell:

To help Aunt May pay the bills, Peter Parker makes an encore performance as Spider-Man, which is a big hit with the public, but not with J. Jonah Jameson, publisher of the Daily Bugle. Even when Spidey saves a meandering space capsule piloted by Jameson’s son, Jameson is unappreciative and continues to call for Spider-Man’s arrest. Frustrated, and with public opinion now firmly against him, Peter wonders if a life of crime might be his only option.

Okay, that might be a bit too concise. Of course there’s a lot more going on in this story, but when you boil it down, I come up with one overwhelmingly pressing question. You’ll have to “pardon my French,” but, here it is: what the hell is up Jameson’s ass?

JAMESON
I mean…really! You would think after seeing Spider-Man singlehandedly save his son’s life, he would be grateful. But Noooo! Instead, Jameson twists everything around and puts out the theory that Spider-Man himself sabotaged the capsule specifically so he could perform the rescue and be hailed as a hero.

Oooo…kaaaaay…And your supporting evidence is…?

You know, Jameson sounds like one of those conspiracy theorists, always looking for the worst in everyone. And if he wants to be that way, I guess he has the right. But it’s not right when the publisher of the most powerful newspaper in town uses his power to propagate outrageous theories without even one shred of supporting evidence. What school of journalism did Jameson attend? Does he not know the difference between “fact” and “opinion”? Does he not know…or does he simply not care? Or maybe he just hopes his readers don’t know and don’t care.

What we have here is a massive abuse of power. In this story, Stan notes that “if something is shouted loud enough, there are always those who will believe it.” This is the power of the press. In one of my recent posts about the Hulk, I noted that the press trusts the military for accurate information, and here the public trusts the press to relay information accurately. I know it’s the 1960’s, a different social climate, but I’m disappointed in the general public for latching on so easily to what they read in the newspaper, accepting it as “fact” when it’s clearly nothing more than opinion.

Did schools not teach critical thinking skills back in the 1960’s?

Spider-Man starts out well-liked in this story, if only as a circus performer. And he could have been well-liked as a hero, if Jameson hadn’t immediately twisted everything around, spewing bile about his good deeds. Peter Parker’s heart is obviously in the right place, and Spider-Man has the opportunity to do some good in the world, but Jameson puts an end to that.

Why?

Okay, here are my theories about Jameson.

1. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. As the publisher of the powerful Daily Bugle, Jameson is drunk with power. Realizing that he is in a position to go way beyond simply reporting the news, that he can shape public opinion, he exercises that power every chance he gets, whether it’s right or not, whether it makes sense or not. He wields his power, simply because he can, simply because he enjoys being powerful.

2. Perhaps in addition to all this, Jameson sees someone like Spider-Man, with supernatural strength and abilities, as a threat to his own power. He fears a time when Spider-Man might command more respect than he does, so he shoots first, cutting off his “opponent” at the knees. Jameson is a bully who builds himself up by cutting other people down.

3. Same as above, only with the love of a father, Jameson is primarily invested in securing a place in history for his son. He idolizes his son, John Jameson the test pilot, as a true American hero, and doesn’t want him to have to share the spotlight with any other heroes, so he immediately labels them as “selfish freaks” and “masked menaces.”

4. Jameson is a hateful bigot. He fears what he doesn’t understand, and since he doesn’t understand Spider-Man, he makes the gut-level decision to strike him down, as he would anyone that doesn’t fit into his narrowly defined view of what is normal and acceptable.

5. Jameson is not interested in heroes at all. He’s simply interested in selling newspapers, and he’s aware that if he can portray this mysterious new figure as a horrible criminal, he can raise the ire of the unsuspecting public and sell lots and lots of newspapers.

As we get to know Jameson, other possibilities may spring up. But for right now, I’m enraged by his behavior towards Spider-Man, and I don’t like him very much. In fact, my initial reaction upon meeting J. Jonah Jameson was to immediately slap his face onto my Villain Valuation chart…but then, when I shared these feelings with Russ, he asked me a very pointed question:

What is the criteria for a villain?

When I gathered my emotions and thought about it, I realized that though Jameson is aggravating and unethical, and even though he’s in opposition to our hero Spider-Man, these traits alone don’t qualify him for Villainhood.

In our conversation, Russ introduced the word “antagonist,” and that’s actually the best way to describe Jameson at this point. He’s not actively trying to perpetuate evil, he’s merely trying to discredit and hinder a hero from doing good. He’s antagonizing Spider-Man, causing the poor kid no end of trouble. We don’t know enough about Jameson yet to know his true motives. I’m sure in future stories we’ll get a clearer picture of just what he’s up to, what makes him tick. But for the moment, I guess I’ll have to give him the benefit of the doubt—innocent until proven guilty. That is, of course, a lot more than Jameson is giving Spider-Man at this point! But then, I have a unique perspective on Spider-Man which J. Jonah Jameson does not enjoy.

Russ assures me that Jameson will develop over time into one of the more complex and interesting supporting characters in the Marvel Universe. I look forward to seeing that, but until I see something radically different from Jameson, I’ll be sleeping with one eye open.

INCIDENTALLY…
For me, the main focus of this story is the introduction of J. Jonah Jameson, and the trouble he causes for Peter, who just wants to do right by poor old Aunt May. But there are a few other things that grabbed my attention, made me wonder and chuckle, so let me share these before we move on to the second story.

• There’s a cute bit where Spider-Man gets paid for his show by check, but of course he can’t cash the check because he doesn’t have a social security card or a bank account in the name of “Spider-Man”! Having a secret identity can be a bummer, causing all kinds of logistical problems. I don’t think the FF ever had to deal with this!

• Peter Parker has some very real problems. He’s not a renowned scientist like Bruce Banner or Henry Pym, and he doesn’t have an unlimited supply of fabulous resources at his command, like the Fantastic Four. He’s a high school kid who gets teased by his classmates and has to take a part-time job, so he and his aunt can pay the rent. These are real problems, faced by real people.

• The attempt to drop a steel net to catch the catapulting capsule is highly amusing. Page 8 bottom left Sometimes in these stories, we think, “Yeah…this could happen in real life.” Other times: “This could only happen in comic books.”

• All the action takes place in New York City. Yet, “having nothing better to do,” Peter goes out to see the rocket launch. Where? And how did he get there? Unless we’re now launching rockets from Times Square??

And finally…
• In the half-page rehash of the origin story, Peter says that after Uncle Ben’s death, he was “lusting for vengeance.” I don’t care how upset he is, no teenager uses the word “lusting,” and especially not in regard to vengeance.

Okay! That wraps up the first story! Let’s move on to the second.

SYNOPSIS
Peter Parker decides he can make money by joining the Fantastic Four, so he breaks into FF HQ, but the Four are not impressed with his antics. Spidey goes away mad.

Disguised as Spider-Man, the Chameleon steals missile defense plans he hopes to sell to the Commies. Having lured Spider-Man to the rooftop with a promise of something “very profitable,” the Chameleon escapes in a helicopter moments before Spidey arrives. Realizing he’s been framed, Spidey evades the guards, pursues the helicopter, and captures the Chameleon.

However, before the Chameleon can be taken into custody, he escapes, disguises himself as a police officer, and once again attempts to frame the real Spider-Man. During a scuffle, the Chameleon’s disguise is torn, revealing him as the real criminal. Spider-Man gets away, sobbing that nothing ever goes right, and wishing he’d never gotten his super-powers.

SPIDEY AND THE FF
I’m starting to notice a pattern in many of these comics: we start off with a sub-plot that, while usually amusing, is incidental to the main action. Still, this sub-plot often contains important information that advances the arc storyline. It only took me two short sentences to synopsize the sub-plot regarding Spider-Man’s meeting with the Fantastic Four, but for my money, this is the more interesting story.

In this sub-plot, Peter decides to interview for the Fantastic Four, even though there’s no job opening. He figures the Four will be so blown away by his powers they’ll have no choice but to invite him in with open arms. Ah, the ego and enthusiasm of youth! Of course…how wrong he is!

Wrong on so many levels, actually. First, he makes this huge assumption (and you know what happens when you ASSume…right?) that being a member of the FF is a paying position. Next, he erroneously concludes that the Four will be so impressed (in fact, “twice as impressed”) with his ability to break into their headquarters, they will have no choice but to grant him membership in their exclusive club.

That’s not the way it goes at all. In fact, the first meeting of Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four goes badly, very badly indeed. But it didn’t have to. Sure, lots of terrible things have happened to Peter Parker since we’ve met him. Some are his fault (stepping aside for the robber who eventually kills Uncle Ben), and others are not (Jameson taking an instant and intense dislike to his Spider-Man persona). But this one is all Peter’s fault, 100% in the “What was he thinking?” column.

When the FF realize it’s Spider-Man breaking into their building, they immediately ask, “Why didn’t he phone for an appointment, like anyone else?” And Thing has the spot-on answer: “’Cause he’s a teenager cornball show-off.” Now, I’m not really sure what a “cornball” was, back in the 1960’s, but the “show-off” remark rings true.

I haven’t read a lot of Spider-Man stories yet, but from the few I have, and from the movies, I know that Spider-Man likes to engage in cocky verbal combat while sparring with his enemy. He shouldn’t have treated the FF as his enemy in this scene, but he starts with “Greetings, group! You shouldn’t make it so easy for people to drop in on ya!” In other words: “You bunch of morons, see how quickly I’ve overcome your obstacles!” Well, Thing responds immediately by calling him “Loud-Mouth,” then Spidey returns with “Gruesome,” and from there we go to “Rubber-Face,” “You Big Ape,” and “You Animated Insect!” Not getting off on the right foot, are we?

Spidey tangles with each member of the FF, just for the fun of it, I think. Not his fun or their fun, but ours. I wonder if Stan and Steve (Ditko) sat around thinking, “So if this one were to fight that one…what would happen?” They put on their thinking caps, and we reap the benefits.

Spider-Man feels he’s been insulted by the FF and leaves, saying, “I’ll make you guys look like pikers!” Well, I have to admit, I had no idea what a “piker” is and had to look it up. A piker is “a person who does anything in a contemptibly small or cheap way.” Okay…pretty good insult there. And since I learned something new, this word is going on my Wacky and Wonderful Words vocabulary page.

VILLAIN

Now, with this Fantastic Four fracas in the rear view mirror, at last we get to the real story. The Chameleon is our villain, a character who seems to have a few attributes, though I’m not really sure you could call them “super-powers.”

One: He wears a vest of many pockets, in which he stores items that allow him to assume a multitude of disguises. Now, disguising yourself is not a super-power; however, concealing all that stuff within the pockets of a single vest? You’ve got to admit, that’s pretty amazing. The Chameleon himself may not have super-powers, but does his vest? The Puppet-Master sculpted realistic figures, but his medium was a radioactive clay with supernatural qualities. Dare I say…magical? Is that what’s going on with the Chameleon’s vest? Is it magical? If deprived of his vest, could the Chameleon still wreak havoc?

But the Chameleon does have another trick up his sleeve. Two: Apparently he has a device which allows him to send messages in “spider frequency.” Neat trick. Which Russ tells me we’ll probably never see again. I think Stan was borrowing an idea from his Ant-Man stories, but in fact, spiders don’t communicate on a “frequency.”

Anyway…three: The Chameleon is also able to produce an artificial web that, while not as effective as Spider-Man’s web, is at least able to hold a victim at bay for a short time. Having these capabilities, I guess the Chameleon must be some kind of scientist.

And what is it that the Chameleon aspires to do, with all his knowledge and power? He seeks personal monetary gain by selling state secrets to the Commies. Oh, c’mon! Really? Another one of those “I’ll sell secrets to the Commies” villains? Well, actually, I guess that is pretty villainous. In the 1960’s, anyone who would betray their country to the Commies was lower than dirt. Actually, even today, that’s still considered lower than dirt. But in the 1960’s, “I’ll sell secrets to the Commies” was comic book shorthand for “Worst Possible Kind of Villain.”

Ethics and loyalties aside, I have questions about the Chameleon’s intelligence. He uses his intellect to surmise that there’s “only one reason Spider-Man would want to join the Fantastic Four! Being sought by the police, there is no way for him to earn a legitimate living! He must be desperate for money!” And based on that presumption, he formulates his plan.

But let’s look at that statement for a moment.

First: Only one reason? For money? Can we really assume that? (Remember, once again, what happens when we ASSume…) Maybe the Chameleon only does things for money, but that doesn’t mean that everyone else is similarly motivated. Does the Chameleon not consider that perhaps Spider-Man seeks to do good, and has decided that joining forces with the FF will increase his productivity as he fights evil? Is he so evil that he cannot even begin to imagine someone being altruistically motivated?

Next: There’s no way for him to earn a legitimate living? Does the Chameleon not realize that when Spider-Man takes off his outfit, he’s a normal human being? And does he not even consider the possibility that the person under that suit might have other ways of earning a decent living? I mean, what if the person under that suit is Bruce Wayne?

Finally: The Chameleon assumes that Spider-Man must be desperate for money. Refer to my recent rhetorical question about Bruce Wayne. Again, I say: There’s no way for the Chameleon to logically assume that Spider-Man does anything he does solely for cash.

Of course, the happy accident in all this (happy for the Chameleon, anyway) is that he happens to be right about Spider-Man. His suppositions may be flawed in logic, but it doesn’t matter, because he comes to the correct conclusion, and formulates his plan based on these assumptions.

I think he just got lucky on that one, though, because later, he makes a huge blunder that leads to his downfall. When at last he is captured by Spider-Man, the Chameleon yells, “Help! Grab him! It’s the Chameleon disguised as Spider-Man again!”

Okay. Is this is the equivalent of showing all your cards before you place your bet? Up till now, the only thing the cops knew was that Spider-Man claimed someone had “impersonated” him. They also heard him say, “Nobody’s framin’ me for anything!” But Spider-Man’s name has been smeared in the press, his reputation tarnished by the fanatical rantings of J. Jonah Jameson. The cops would be likely to discredit anything Spider-Man says. And the cherry on top: at this point, there is no actual proof of any imposter.

So, Chameleon helps the cops by revealing that there is indeed an impostor…and he even provides the name of the culprit: The Chameleon!

Does Marvel have a Hall of Stupid Criminals? If they don’t, they should. And I nominate the Chameleon as a card-carrying charter member.

NOT THERE YET…
The Spider-Man series is still in its infancy, and in this issue we see some staples of the mythos taking shape, but we’re not there yet. In this story, Spider-Man says, “My spider instinct senses danger,” and later “That tingle I feel!” But we haven’t put those elements together yet for the famous “My spider-sense is tingling!”

Also, on several occasions, he is called “the” Spider-Man. I still have trouble now and then knowing when to include the “The” in the title of a villain or hero. Sometimes you can go either way, as in “Hulk,” or “The Hulk.” But I’m pretty sure nobody today says “the Spider-Man.”

CONCLUSION – THE PLIGHT OF THE SPIDER-MAN
However, this story does one thing very well: it moves along the plight of poor Peter Parker, the much-maligned and misunderstood hero. In the previous story, Jameson publically discredits Spider-Man, and here the Chameleon incorporates that public disgracing into his evil schemes by using Spider-Man as the “fall guy.” Elements build on elements, the plot thickens, the web expands.

And Peter is left sobbing, “Nothing turns out right…SOB…I wish I had never gotten my superpowers!” We end our tale with the Fantastic Four wondering if the Spider-Man might turn against the law.

Of course we know better, but the comic readers of the day might have shared the doubts of the FF. One thing I feel for sure, anyone reading Amazing Spider-Man #1 was certain to save up their 12 cents for Amazing Spider-Man #2, anxious to see what further ills might befall young Peter Parker as he struggles between the desire to do right by his elderly aunt, and the frustration of slander visited upon his alter-ego…the Spider-Man!

This time, a sub-plot involved Spidey and the FF, but next time, the crossover is more integral to the action. If you, like Rick Jones here, find yourself wondering, “Hmmm…who’s going to meet up with whom?” then join me next time in the Marvelous Zone, for a cross-country clash of titans!

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